


By Your Side

by Bell_Flower



Series: By Your Side Universe [1]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Drama, F/F, F/M, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-31
Updated: 2020-12-25
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:27:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 24
Words: 79,823
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27315505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bell_Flower/pseuds/Bell_Flower
Summary: (AU- no Titans) The war on Marley loomed over the horizon and there was no stopping Eren from enlisting in the war and of course Armin would follow suit. There were no women allowed in the army but that wouldn’t stop Mikasa from becoming a soldier. She had to make sure that Eren didn’t do something stupid, like get himself killed. She snipped off her long, black hair piece by piece until there was no hair past the nape if her neck and a few longer bangs in the front to frame her face. She was as strong as any man and she wouldn’t back down from the fight.
Relationships: Armin Arlert/Annie Leonhart, Jean Kirstein/Original Female Character(s), Krista Lenz | Historia Reiss/Ymir, Levi/Hange Zoë, Mikasa Ackerman/Eren Yeager, Mikasa Ackerman/Jean Kirstein
Series: By Your Side Universe [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2077383
Comments: 96
Kudos: 187





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Attack on Titan/Shingeki no Kyojin or all associated characters.

**Chapter 1**

The three of them had been together for so long that Mikasa had grown used to the simple life they led. She had lost her parents so young, only nine years old when they were killed right in front of her. She had been such a happy, shy girl before that. She loved playing in the garden and spending time with her mother, learning to embroider and mend clothes. All the things a girl of her age should learn.

The innocence had been ripped from her life violently and suddenly, the image of her parents lifeless bodies seared into her mind. She had almost given up hope then, almost accepted her fate to be sold into slavery because of her “exotic” looks. It was like the light had left her world and she was just a shell of her former self.

It had been him, that boy with the fierce green eyes, that had given her the strength to push forward and live. He had broken into the kidnappers hideout and had stabbed her attackers without any regard for his own safety. She had also killed, defending the boy that had put his life on the line for her. She remembered his words like they were written on her soul, ingrained in her deeper than anything else. It had ignited a spark in her and given her life again.

_Fight! The only way to live is to fight._

She had lived by those words ever since. Eren had placed his scarf around her when she felt cold and alone, when she felt like she had no family left. The Yeager family was kind enough to take her home and loved her like one of their own.

She still struggled with the pain of losing her parents but it was softened by the warmth that surrounded her. Eren seemed almost like a different person with her than the kid who could murder a full grown man for her. He was kind to her and took care of her, even when she cried herself to sleep at night and he would crawl into bed next to her until the tears stopped.

And then she met Armin, the brilliant friend of theirs, who dreamed of traveling the world and exploring all there was to see. They listened to him read stories of epic adventures and would share in his excitement over seeing the ocean. He was small and weak for his age so he was often bullied by other kids. Eren was never one to stand for it and would fight back with the same fiery determination that Mikasa had seen when they met, but luckily much less deadly.

That’s when they had discovered Mikasa’s unnatural talent and ability to fight. Somehow after Eren inspired her to fight for her life, something had awoken inside her and she did all she could to get strong. She never wanted to feel that weak again and so she trained and she fought off the neighborhood bullies until just the sight of her would scare them off.

The more her abilities increased, the more Eren would get irritated with her because of it. He was frustrated that she was stronger and better at fighting when she was just a girl. Carla always chastised her son for not protecting Mikasa better and it hurt his pride. Mikasa knew he never meant any harm by it, but it always stung when he would reject her care and protection.

Then the air raid happened.

In an instant, everything was taken away again. The three of them had been together again, chasing off some bullies for Armin and Mikasa calming Eren down before he could get himself hurt. Then they heard the sound of planes overhead and they looked up to the sky, anxiety creeping up their spines.

“Marleyan aircraft?” Armin wondered aloud, brow furrowed. “What are they doing here?”

“We have to tell the garrison!” Eren yelled, immediately pulling free from Mikasa’s hold and running towards the group of drunken men, waving his arms to get their attention. It was too late though, for the first bomb was dropped over the city of innocent civilians. The ground shook and buildings fell around them. Mikasa was knocked to the ground by the force, head spinning to make sense of all the sounds and colors moving past her. It took a moment to regain her senses and she pushed herself up, eyes darting around.

“Eren!” She called for him, running towards her friend as he picked himself up, his eyes trained on something in a familiar direction. “Are you ok?” She asked before her eyes followed the direction of his gaze. The bomb had fallen on their neighborhood and the building that had previously been their home had crumbled to the ground.

“Mom was home! She was in there!” Eren’s eyes were filled with tears and panic as he took off in the direction of the rubble and Mikasa chased after him, both worried about his safety and feeling as though her world had come crashing down a second time.

The rest of the attack had passed in a blur. Eren crying as Hannes, one of the garrison guards, had held him back from digging into the rubble of his home to find his mother. She remembered being lead away into a safer area and Eren screaming at the attackers when more bombs dropped and shook the ground. It had seemed like forever before they stopped and they were able to find Armin again.

They had survived the surprise attack on Shiganshina but their families had not.

“I’m going to kill every last one of them!” Eren vowed, eyes filled with a fiery vengeance. Mikasa recognized the look and clutched the scarf around her neck, pulling it over her nose as if the well loved fabric could filter out the dust of debris in the air. Armin just cried next to them, his knees tucked into his chest.

Life after that point had become increasingly harder. Eren’s father had disappeared and Armin’s grandfather had passed away in the attack. They were sent to live in an orphanage and they were separated between the boys and girls. Mikasa had the opportunity to see Eren and Armin from time to time, although Eren was always getting into trouble and getting punished for starting fights.

It took a few years of struggling before they were old enough to run away and get themselves small jobs. They didn’t have very much and were practically homeless but they were able to stay in small room in a kind old couple’s home if they helped out on their farm. The couple didn’t have any children of their own so the help was appreciated since they had become too advanced in years to do the more strenuous work. Mikasa worked hard, her strength again surpassing that of Eren and far surpassing Armin’s.

  
Eren released a frustrated huff one night as Mikasa carried twice as many boxes into the barn as he was able to.

“How are you so strong?” He complained, feeling his pride take another hit. He was by no means weak, he knew he was working just as hard as her, but she always did everything with so much ease.

Mikasa shrugged her shoulders after she set down her load of boxes, her dark eyes unreadable. She knew it bugged him that she could lift more than he could but she also knew that he liked that about her too. She hadn’t bothered with girly things much since they had grown up together, partially because her only friends were two boys and partially because they couldn’t afford luxuries like nice dresses or makeup for her.

She blew her hair out of her face, dusting off her hands. “We are done faster now so we can go out and watch the stars.” She explained, feeling that getting more time to themselves was a great motivation for lifting more boxes. Eren snorted, amused by her reasoning. She liked living away from the city, the stars were so much brighter and reminded her of home.

“Fine, but I think Armin is already asleep.” Eren rolled up his sleeves and wiped the sweat off his brow, happy to be done with the work early as well. Mikasa nodded, reaching her hand out to Eren in invitation. He took it and the two walked outside the barn and towards the hill with their favorite tree.

Mikasa felt the smallest smile touch her lips at that moment, heat rising in her cheeks. She was sure that she was alone in her feelings but she had noticed that her affection for Eren had taken on a different tone as they had grown up. Perhaps it had always been there, a crush on the tan skinned boy that had grown with time into a love that threatened to consume her.

She looked at their laced fingers, wondering what he was thinking as she tried to hide her face behind the scarf around her neck. It had been looking worse for wear and Mikasa had to repair it a few times to make it last.

They sat down together under the tree and laid on their backs, looking up at the stars.

“Eren...” Mikasa’s voice was hesitant, she wondered why she even spoke up at all. She was too afraid to voice her conflicted feelings, especially when she had finally felt content for the first time in years. “Do you think about the future? About what you want?” She asked, since they had been so busy just surviving that they hadn’t really talked about their dreams in years.

Eren nodded, letting go of Mikasa’s hand, much to her disappointment. “I’m joining the military as soon as I’m old enough.” He said, glancing over at her. The haunted look in his eyes told her that the scenes from that day still lingered in his mind. She knew the feeling.

Mikasa’s heart sank, she knew that Eren was nearly there, less than a year from when he could enroll in the training. She knew Armin would follow, even though he was physically weak, he was brilliant and would be useful somehow. It was the only way any of them could afford to leave and see any of the world.

“Girls aren’t allowed in the military unless they’re nurses.” Mikasa mumbled, feeling a pit form in her stomach. She would be alone for how long? Would they even come back or would they come back in body bags?

“You can become a nurse.” Eren said, though they both knew that wouldn’t happen. Eren would be in the military before she could finish the schooling and only those from families that could afford to send their daughters to nursing school could get the opportunity.

Mikasa turned her head away from Eren, tears starting to collect in her eyes. She wasn’t surprised, she knew Eren wanted that from the day he promised to kill all Marleyans but it had been years ago so she could push it out of her mind. She could no longer run from it any more.

Hearing her sniff, Eren sat up and peered over at her, seeing the reflection of a tear rolling down her cheek. “Mikasa, come here.” He pulled her up so they could face each other, though she was reluctant to look in those endless pools of vivid green.

He grabbed the scarf around her neck and gave it a gentle tug, just enough to get her attention. She gave in, lifting her gaze up to see a surprisingly tender look in his eyes. She felt like melting under his gaze, her throat drying up and words failing her.

“I’m doing this so you can be safe. I can’t sleep at night knowing that more bombs could fall and take you away. I need to fight so that you can have a happy life. Get married while I’m gone and have babies, I don’t want you to be alone.” She knew he meant well and the words were intended to bring her peace, but it did the opposite.

She felt anguish in her heart at the thought of Eren leaving her behind. She couldn’t have a family without him, he was her family. The thought of her and Eren with a couple of kids was what she dreamed of.

“You are my family.” Mikasa said, eyes shining with more tears threatening to fall. Eren continued to stare at her and his face shifted into an unreadable expression, his own thoughts seeming to be in conflict.

He sighed after a while, flicking the end of the scarf over Mikasa’s head. He didn’t know what to do or say to those pleading eyes. He couldn’t change the path he needed to take, no matter how much he wanted to make Mikasa happy.

Even though she knew the time they had was limited, Mikasa enjoyed sitting there with him in silence, able to enjoy his company while she still had him all to herself.

After a while she noticed Eren had fallen asleep against the tree. She didn’t bother waking him, enjoying seeing him sleep peacefully. She leaned against the tree next to him, watching the stars overhead. It wasn’t long before she also drifted off to sleep and her head fell onto his shoulder.

—————

“ _Eren, I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean for it to happen this way.” Eren heard his father yell, unimaginable pain racing through his body. His vision went in and out and he saw a syringe flash under the light of the moon._

_Grisha’s eyes were streaming tears, his voice taking on a frantic, panicked edge. “This is the only way to end the war!”_

_Eren screamed as the syringe was emptied into his blood and his body shook violently before seeing black._

_The next thing he saw when he open his blurry eyes was blood everywhere and a broken pair of glasses on the ground._

Eren woke from his dream with a start, startling Mikasa awake.

“Eren?” Mikasa asked, rubbing her eyes. Eren panted first breath next to her, heart racing. “What happened?”

Eren couldn’t speak at first, choking back a muffled sob.

“You’re crying.” Mikasa reached out and touched his face, wiping away tears that had flowed down his cheeks. Eren jerked in surprise before taking a shaky breath.

“I-I saw him, my dad...” he swallowed, his heart still racing. “Something really terrible happened.”

Mikasa frowned in confusion, sitting back on her knees.

Eren grew pale, feeling the urge to vomit. “I think I killed him.”

  
“It’s just a nightmare, Eren.” She reassured him, pushing herself up into a standing position. “Let’s go to bed, you’ll be more comfortable inside.”

Eren wanted to believe her but something told him what he had dreamed had been real.

——————

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I hope you enjoyed the first chapter. I write this on my phone so forgive me if there are errors. I haven’t written fanfics in a long time so be kind. The story will to some degree follow the manga storyline but with some plot changes.


	2. Chapter 2

The day had come, Eren and Armin were wearing their military uniforms, ready to head off to training camp. Mikasa tugged at the sleeve of her dress, playing with the frayed hem. She felt empty, like she was losing her family again. The tears she had were already spilled the night prior, where she had cried into her pillow to muffle the sounds. She was sure her eyes were puffy and ugly under the glare of the bright sun.

“Good bye, Mikasa.” Armin said, reaching out and wrapping his arms around her, smiling despite the pitying look in his eyes. He knew how hard the last few weeks had been on her. He and Eren would still have each other for some time before being sent off to war, but Mikasa would be by herself for months if not years.

“Armin.” She closed her eyes, welcoming the hug. “Be safe and don’t let Eren do anything stupid.”

Armin laughed, happy to hear her joking despite how sad he knew she was. “You know that’s impossible.” Armin teased back, drawing a little, shaky laugh from Mikasa as well.

“Hey!” Eren gasped in mock offense, even though he knew there was some truth in it. He always ran right into danger.

Armin pulled away and looked between Eren and Mikasa, reading the moment. He knew they would need their own private goodbye so he stepped back and made an excuse to go load his bag into the train.

Silence fell between them as Eren shifted, rubbing the back of his neck. He wasn’t good with words and he hated continually disappointing Mikasa.

“I‘ll get you a new one of those.” Eren said, gesturing to the scarf Mikasa always wore. She reached up, fingers grazing the fabric. She knew it only added to the appearance of her looking homeless and any normal person would have given up on it years ago but she couldn’t part with it when it reminded her of his kindness.

“I’m fine with this one.” She said, quietly.

“Alright,” Eren paused, searching for something else to offer in apology. “Then with my military pay I will get you a new dress and you can wear it when I visit you on my next leave.”

Mikasa felt heat rise in her cheeks, the suggestion almost sounding like a date. “Ok,” she agreed, knowing it would make Eren feel better if she accepted the offer of a trivial gift as if that made him leaving more acceptable.

Silence fell between them again before Eren stepped forward and pulled Mikasa into a hug, mimicking the actions Armin had taken. The hug was different though. Mikasa relaxed into the hold, giving in to it completely. They stood like that for a while until the warning whistle blew for the train. Eren hurriedly stepped back, startled.

“I-I have to go.” She nodded, managing a little smile of encouragement.

“See you later, Eren.” She refused to say good bye because their story wasn’t over yet. Eren returned the smile, waving as he turned and ran off to catch up with Armin.

Mikasa balled her hands up into fists, smile fading as he disappeared into the train. She had a terrible idea, yet the motivation was enough for her to push aside reason. She turned on her heel and started the journey back to the farm, determination darkening her gaze.

———————

_Snip_.

The first lock of hair floated to the floor as she took the plunge, cutting her hair off piece by piece. She had cut Armin and Eren’s hair before so she knew what she was doing to some extent. She felt cold on her neck as it was exposed, no longer covered by dark, raven hair. It had all been snipped short into a pixie cut with longer bangs in the front to frame her face. She couldn’t snip all of her locks away, she still felt more secure with some fringe to hide behind.

She then pulled off her dress, staring at her bare form in the mirror. She was muscular but still had feminine curves to soften the lines of muscle that decorated her body. She had matured enough that the fullness of her chest would be hard to hide but she knew that some bandaging and a bulky military uniform should do the trick as long as she was able to keep enough physical distance between herself and the other soldiers.

She picked up the bindings for her chest and started winding them around to hide the most obvious feminine trait. She then pulled on the spare outfit of Eren’s that she had stolen out of his trunk before he had left, noting that they were loose enough to obscure the more soft curves of her hips. She wasn’t entirely convinced with her look, but she wasn’t used to seeing herself with the short hair and the masculine clothes. She still looked like a girl playing dress up. Maybe if it were a group of strangers, her disguise would at least make her passable as a teenage boy. The difference with her lack of masculinity would likely become more prominent as her comrades aged.

Shaking the doubt from her head, Mikasa pulled a bag over her shoulder and left the little farm in the quiet countryside to venture into the grueling regimen of the military training camp. The papers were easy enough to fake so all she had to do was act the part.

——————

“Attention recruits!” Shadis yelled, calling for all the recruits to line up and salute. They were all getting used to the formation, still only a few days into their training. “You have a new recruit joining us.”

Mikasa stepped out, very aware of all the eyes on her as she saluted with the most confidence she could muster. She couldn’t even believe she had made it that far without someone questioning her.

A few quiet murmurs sounded from the soldiers as they took in her appearance.

“An Asian? You don’t see those often.”

“Why does he look like girl?”

“I heard sometimes the guys do.”

She tensed at the conversation she could overhear and she narrowed her eyes into a withering glare directed in the origin of the sound. The whispers immediately stopped and Shadis commanded the offenders to run laps for talking during his introduction. Mikasa let out a breath she didn’t know she was holding, letting her shoulders loosen.

“My name is Mikasa Ackerman.” She introduced, before stepping into line with the other soldiers. Two particular soldiers felt their mouths drop in shock at the name, their heads turning to watch their friend march over into line like it was no big deal that a girl with a new haircut was just joining the military.

“Was that-“ Eren was cut off by Armin nodding and quickly putting a finger to his lips.

Armin couldn’t say he was surprised, Mikasa could be just as stubborn and determined as Eren and she wanted to be by his side. She would get in a ton of trouble if it were revealed that she was a woman so they would have to cover for her. Armin sighed, realizing how much work this was going to be.

Eren still looked gobsmacked for the rest of the day, extremely distracted during drills and training. They didn’t really have time to talk to Mikasa since she was assigned to a different group, but she was getting a ton of attention already. When it came to hand to hand combat training, she was taking guys down left and right and the other trainees were staring with stunned respect.

She was going to get a reputation not to be messed with, just like she had at home on the streets. Eren grit his teeth, upset that she was showing off so much. She was going to be sent to the frontlines if she kept excelling at everything and then Eren wouldn’t be able to keep her out of harms way.

Shouldering his way through the soldiers circled around her, he pushed himself into the forefront as Mikasa knocked down a large blond man who Eren remembered being named Reiner.

Some soldiers starting cheering Mikasa on and she stood tall as if she didn’t care if they approved or not. Scowling, Eren stepped up and grabbed the front of her jacket.

Mikasa met Eren’s eyes, mouth dropping open as she recognized him.

“E-Eren...” she gasped, forgetting for a moment to deepen her voice for effect. Eren kept his fierce emerald gaze on her.

“What the hell do you think you are doing?” He demanded, absolutely bristling with anger.

Mikasa’s glanced to the side nervously, wondering if Eren would give her away.

“Fighting.” She answered, trying to gain her composure.

Eren watched her for a minute before letting go of the jacket and getting in a fighting stance.

“Fine, fight me.” Mikasa nodded wearily, knowing she could beat him easily. She knew his style and how to take him down already, but when his back hit the ground, it was a lot more gentle than the other soldiers.

Eren felt the world spin when his attempts to fight her off went south and she pinned him down.

They were far enough away that he could whisper something else to her.

“You shouldn’t have done this. You will be discovered.” His brows were knit together in worry as he struggled to overturn her grip.

She leaned down, her breath hitting his ear as she whispered her response. “It was my choice to come here. Don’t concern yourself with it.”

He felt even more angry at that, struggling harder against her grip. “Like hell! Of course I’m going to be concerned about it.” Mikasa loosened her grip as she stood up and offered her hand to him.

Eren pushed it away, still irritated that she put herself at risk, missing the hurt that flashed over her face at the rejection. He walked away, not even glancing back as he tried to seriously focus on his training the rest of the day.

Dinner came after sundown in the mess hall and Mikasa grabbed her food and surveyed the tables to search out her friends. Even if she didn’t have the best start with Eren, he would have to accept her decision at some point. It was worth it to protect him, she reminded herself.

She found the table she was looking for and sat down with her tray across from Armin and Eren. Armin offered a weak smile, already sensing the tension between the two friends.

“Mikasa, I know you didn’t want to be alone-“ Armin paused midway through his sentence, glancing around to make sure no one could overhead them. “But there’s some logistical things that will have to be sorted out if you don’t want to reveal...um, certain things.”

Eren cast a dark look over at Armin, clicking his tongue in annoyance. “Don’t encourage her. She needs to go home.”

Mikasa frowned, looking down and the tasteless food in front of her, already losing her appetite. “Not happening, Eren. And you might want to use he to describe me in public.”

Eren sighed but nodded in acknowledgment, knowing he would be roped into the crazy plan regardless of how he felt about it.

More soldiers sat down at the table and their conversation had to shift to avoid suspicion.

A friendly boy with freckles, smiled at them as he sat. “Hey guys, my name is Marco Bodt from Jinae province.”

They greeted him in response, offering their introductions.

“We’re from Shiganshina.” Eren said, gesturing to himself, Armin and Mikasa. “Eren Yeager.”

“Oh wow, then you were there when-“ Marco was cut off by a shorter boy with a shaved head.

“You survived the bombing?” He asked, jaw dropping open. So many of the residents of the Shiganshina district had died that day so it was the first time they had gotten to talk to someone that had survived it.

Eren’s face fell into a downcast expression. “Yeah, Mikasa, Armin and I made it out in time but my home was destroyed. My mom was stuck inside when the building collapsed.”

Marco saw the shift in Eren’s face a regretted bringing up a sensitive subject. “Oh no, I’m sorry to hear that.”

Eren shook his head, his hands tightening into fists on the table. “Because of that day I have the motivation to kill every last Marleyan to make them pay for what they did. That’s why I decided to become a cadet so I could join the Survey Corps!”

Mikasa looked up at him, memories flooding her mind from before the attack when they came home from gathering firewood. They had seen the Survey Corps return from battle, bloodied corpses being transported home and soldiers missing limbs. They were always on the front lines, taking the most casualties out of any division. She had told Carla that Eren wanted to join and it had caused her to shout at her son and beg him to change his mind. Mikasa had promised Carla to keep Eren safe and to change his mind. She hadn’t done anything to stop Eren, there was no stopping Eren from revenge. However, she would protect him. She couldn’t break her promise to Carla. She gripped a piece of bread and choked down a few bites despite how little she wanted to eat. She needed to keep her strength up.

A tall boy snorted from the next table, looking over at Eren. “The Survey Corps? Do you have a death wish?”

Eren’s eyebrows drew together, pushing himself back in his chair to face the other cadet.

“Any self respecting soldier would choose to fight the frontlines! I can’t sit back and wait for the war to come to me, I will bring it to them!” Eren’s voice rose as he stood up from the table, getting lost in his passionate speech. “We were caught unaware at the attack of Shiganshina and I won’t let that happen again!”

“Suit yourself.” The other boy shrugged. “I’m going to get to the top ranks so I can join the Military Police and have a comfortable life guarding the King.”

Eren stood up from the table, anger flaring up. “You may be content to be a coward and hide in the capital but I won’t rest until I defeat those Marleyan scum!”

“Here we go again.” Mikasa mumbled under her breath. Eren always started fights with anyone who wasn’t as comfortable throwing themselves into conflict as he was.

“Are you going to stop him?” Armin whispered, but Mikasa shook her head.

“Coward?” The other soldier stood up as well, “Do you want to start a fight?”

“Jean, stop.” Marco pleaded, reaching out to try and stand between Jean and Eren.

Jean seemed to listen to Marco’s advice, dropping his defenses in the name of keeping the peace. Plus, Shadis would hand their asses to them if they started a brawl in the mess hall. The bell rang in the distance to signal that it was time for everyone to retreat to the barracks for the night.

“Fine, let’s put aside our differences and respect each other’s career choices.” Jean conceded, offering his hand in a truce.

Eren relaxed his stance, deciding to let the matter go for now. “Right, we each have the right to make our own decisions.”

He reached out and smacked the hand with his own rather than take the offered handshake. It wasn’t a peaceful gesture but the situation was momentarily diffused.

Eren moved to leave the mess hall and Mikasa stood up to follow, relieved that she didn’t have to break up a fight for once.

She passed by Jean on the way out and the sight of her caused Jean to freeze in place, completely struck by her beauty. The soldier with the two toned hair was in a trance, never having seen anyone like her before. The pale, smooth skin and the dark grey eyes with long, dark lashes and the silky, raven hair that framed her delicate face. He felt breathless for a moment and the words tumbled out of his mouth before he could stop them. “Hey, excuse me...”

Mikasa stopped short and turned, surprised that Jean had spoken to her. She turned to face him, cool gaze fixed on him expectantly.

Jean flushed with color, realizing how idiotic he must look to get all love struck over a man. What was he thinking? “You, uh... I-I’ve never seen anyone like you before.” He stumbled over his words, feeling increasingly embarrassed the more he struggled. “I mean, you, uh...have really beautiful black hair.”

Mikasa stared at him for a second, internally a bit surprised to get a compliment like that while dressed as a boy, but it wasn’t all that unusual to get noticed for her looks so she said what she usually did when receiving compliments on her “unusual” features. “Thank you.” She answered simply, turning away and leaving a blushing Jean to stare after her in wonder.

The first obstacle came much sooner than Mikasa anticipated, the time to shower before hitting the barracks for the night occurred after dinner. As the guys headed for the communal showers, Mikasa stopped short, reaching up self consciously to adjust her scarf tighter around her as if that would give her more security.

“Aren’t you coming, Mikasa?” One of the recruits they had talked to earlier asked, his name was Connie, she believed.

“Uh, I-“ she racked her brain for an answer before Eren cut her off, slinging an arm over her shoulder.

“Mik and I were going to train some more before turning in.” He said, offering the other soldier a smile. “We’ve got to be top of the class so there won’t be room at the top for horseface.” He gestures vaguely in the direction of Jean.

Jean grit his teeth, overhearing the obvious jab at him. He looked at the way Eren leaned on Mikasa so casually, eyes narrowing as they turned and headed back out to the fields. He reached over to wipe his hand on the back of Connie’s jacket.

“Hey, what did you wipe on me?” Connie yelled, turning his head to try see what was on his jacket.

“My faith in humanity.” Jean muttered, turning his heel to head to the showers like everyone else. He felt jealousy rise in him, making his anger towards the Yeager boy grow.

——————

“Eren...” Mikasa breathed when they had made it outside. “What about you? Aren’t you going to clean up?”

“I’ll do it later.” Eren waved his hand dismissively, shrugging. “This way I can keep watch while you shower so no one walks in.”

Mikasa’s eyes softened at the care Eren was taking to help her. Though he wasn’t always good at showing his emotions, he had a way of doing the sweetest things for Mikasa when she really needed it.

“Thank you.” She whispered, truly touched.

Eren didn’t meet her eyes and he just shrugged again. “I didn’t like the way Kirstein was looking at you.”

She felt a smile creep up on her lips but she hid it behind her scarf. Was that Eren getting jealous?

“He’s probably just confused because I look too much like a girl still.”

Eren finally spared her a look, glancing up and down.

“Yeah, you do.”

Something about the look Eren gave her body and the tone of his voice sent a shiver down her spine and Mikasa felt overwhelmed with embarrassment. She excused herself to actually run laps until the coast was clear.

Eren decided to join her after a lap and the two circled around for an hour before heading inside. The bathroom was clear and so Mikasa slipped inside with a change of clothes while Eren stood outside the door.

Mikasa was glad to finally have a moment alone and she undressed carefully, still feeling on edge that any minute a stray soldier would be around the corner to spot her secret. She finally let the fear go after a while and stepped into the shower, turning the knob up all the way. The hot spray relieved the soreness in her over exerted muscles.

She reveled in the warmth for a good while, scrubbing and washing off before she remembered that Eren still had to take his turn. She hurriedly turned off the water and toweled off so she could dress in the new set of clothes and bandages around her chest.

When she finally exited the bathroom, she found Eren leaning against the wall with his eyes closed, looking so exhausted. Mikasa felt guilty for knowing that he had stayed up later for her. She also felt the urge to kiss him, thank him for looking out for her, though he could hardly do any good with his eyes closed.

She smiled, poking him in the chest instead. Eren’s eyes blinked open, emerald irises focusing on her.

“Your turn. You smell.”

Eren nodded, reaching to rub the sleep from his eyes. “Alright.” He moved to trudge into the bathroom, leaving Mikasa alone. She turned on her heel and headed to the dorms to turn in for the night. She didn’t know how long she could keep herself secret but every day she got to spend by his side was worth it.

——————

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: In my research, Mikasa came up as a name that could be unisex and considering that Japanese names would be uncommon in Eldia, they probably wouldn’t know the difference so I’m keeping her name the same.
> 
> And even though I ship Eremika hardcore, I absolutely love Jean and his crush on Mikasa is adorable so he’s going to be making Eren get jealous in the future but no worries, Mikasa’s heart will always have Eren in it.


	3. Chapter 3

They had worked themselves into a routine, Armin and Eren covering for Mikasa for all the times she would awkwardly have to face difficulties because of her gender. She never had to worry about being strong enough but slipping up in other ways was a lot easier.

Eren would often stay up to guard the bathroom for Mikasa, which she was ever so grateful for. It did get awkward a few times, when there would be a stray soldier looking to go in for a piss and having Eren stare them down and scramble for excuses why they had to hold it or use a bush outside.

Mikasa worked extra hard to make their efforts worth it and climbed to the top of the class. Eren struggled, but his tenacity allowed him to climb up into the top ten despite the abilities not coming as naturally to him.

Target practice proved to be the first difficult hurdle for Eren though, his gun causing him trouble and he missed marks because it wasn’t firing properly.

Mikasa fired all her rounds, all the shots hitting the crucial areas on the targets with ease. Others were also showing natural promise with their aim.

Eren threw his gun on the ground with frustration, causing Armin to yell and jump back.

“Eren, be careful with that!”

Eren look dejectedly down at the useless firearm. “It’s not working, it won’t shoot.”

“Be careful, a faulty gun could kill you.” Reiner warned, stepping forward with Bertolt like a shadow behind him. A very tall shadow.

“I suck at this. How can I kill those Marley bastards if I can’t shoot a gun?”

Reiner and Bertolt exchanged glances.

“Will you guys help me?” Eren pleaded. “I heard you two are really good at this.”

Reiner shifted, looking uncomfortable. “The best way to get better is practice.”

“Did you guys come from a hunting village?” Armin questioned, wondering how they had gotten practice in when they hadn’t been training as cadets that long.

Bertolt tensed before answering. “We are from a mountain village southeast of Maria.”

Armin’s eyes widened with surprise. Both of the skilled cadets hadn’t talked much about their hometown before. “So you were part of the area affected by the attack.”

“Yeah, we both lost our homes.” Bertolt continued, looking down towards the ground woefully. “We were hit after Shiganshina but there had been no time for them to alert us before our town was blown to pieces.”

Reiner placed a comforting hand on Bertolt’s shoulder. “Let’s not bring up our past.”

Bertolt nodded, quieting down again. 

“We are going to get revenge and go back to our homes, that’s all that matters.”

Eren nodded, glad that finally they had found some comrades that felt the way he did.

Mikasa stepped up beside them handed her firearm to Eren. “Try mine.” She offered, guiding him back to face the target. She took time to adjust his stance and nudge his feet into place.

“Hold it like this.” She instructed, stepping close and putting her arms around Eren to show him how to hold the gun properly. He listened to her instructions without protest and fired, hitting the target right in the middle of the head.

Eren grinned, relief swelling inside him. He didn’t have to quit, he could actually hit something!

“Trust in yourself, Eren.” Mikasa said, lingering beside him for a moment before stepping back. Helping him ensured he stayed in the camp but it would also give him his best chance at survival.

Jean missed his target with his shot, distracted by how close Mikasa had gotten to Eren. He scowled, lowering his gun. “Don’t you think they are too close?”

Marco looked up, glancing in the direction of the group Jean was looking at. “Yeah, Reiner and Bertolt are always together.”

Jean scoffed, shaking his head. “Not them, Ackerman and Yeager.”

“Oh,” Marco contemplated the two before agreeing. “I guess but they grew up together. Eren’s family took Mikasa in when he was a kid so they’re pretty much family.”

So they had lived together? Jean raised his eyebrows, not entirely convinced that family acted like they did around each other. “I’m pretty sure brothers don’t act like that.”

Marco smiled, amused at Jean’s concern over the subject. “Why? Does it bother you?”

Jean grew silent, his face growing hot with embarrassment. “Shut up.” The freckled soldier laughed at the expense of his friend. It was no secret that Jean had a crush on Mikasa. There had even begun to be running jokes on the love triangle between the three. If Eren and Mikasa were aware at all of the rumors, they certainly didn’t let it show.

—————

The first check up for their health was another hurdle to overcome. A group of new nurses showed up one day with the eccentric military doctor, Hange. They were going to check up on the physical health or the boys and takes some blood tests for sampling.

Mikasa was one of the first called in, their names in alphabetical order. She was taken into a curtained room by a petite blonde girl with crystal blue eyes. She was beautiful and already catching the attention of quite a few soldiers.

“I’m Krista Lenz, nice to meet you.” The nurse introduced, offering a sweet smile.

Mikasa nervously followed the girl and sat on the examination table as temperature, blood pressure, heart rate and all other essentials were taken. She also collected some blood samples to check for disease, categorizing them all away.

“Alright, that should do it.”Krista said, placing a cotton pad over the spot she had draw blood from and holding it in place with some medical tape.

Mikasa nodded, relieved that it was such an easy check up, nothing to be alarmed about.

“Wait.” Said a voice from the door, a tall girl with dark hair and freckles stood there, eyeing Mikasa with suspicion.

“Ymir!” Krista exclaimed, turning to the other girl. “What are you doing in here? I thought you had patients of your own.”

“I did, some poor sap already passed out getting his blood drawn so I told him to drop out.”

Krista frowned, shaking her head. “Ymir, a nurse is supposed to be kind to her patients.”

“Maybe for you. I’m only here to make sure they don’t paw at you like animals.” Ymir pushed herself further into the curtained off area, lowering her voice. “How did you make it in here, Miss Ackerman?”

Mikasa stiffened, eyes going wide. How did this woman know about her?

“Ymir, what are you-“

The dark haired girl cut her petite friend off. “Mikasa’s a woman. Check under the shirt and I’m sure you’ll find I’m not wrong.”

Krista looked between the two nervously. “There’s no reason to do that. You should go back to work.”

Ymir stared Mikasa down for a moment and Mikasa fell back into a neutral mask.

“Listen, I think it’s bullshit women can’t be soldiers so I won’t say anything, but just make sure you see Krista or I if you need medical exams.” The words took her by surprise but Mikasa nodded, agreeing because she had no choice.

“Thank you.” She said, slipping off the table. Ymir shrugged, slinging an arm around Krista’s shoulders.

Mikasa exited the room and quietly headed back to sit with the other soldiers awaiting their turn.

Armin was also high on the list, heading into a room with another blonde petite nurse, but that one was the polar opposite of Krista. She looked cold and distant, untouchable. The guys were not as thrilled when she took them him because she looked like she could murder them.

Armin wasn’t deterred by her appearance though, hoping up on the exam table and reading her name tag.

“Annie? Nice to meet you.” Armin greeted, smiling. Annie gave him a blank look, nodding in response.

As she was taking his vitals, she glanced at his file, noticing the low marks he was getting on everything physical. At least he had brains, she noted.

“You know there’s no shame in dropping out.” She said, not sure why she was bothering to care, but he looked like the kind of delicate guy that wouldn’t last a day on the field.

Armin nodded, knowing very well that people often didn’t expect much of him. “I know I’m not the strongest but I can’t let life pass me by. I want to get out there and see the world. I don’t want fear to keep me from being free.”

Annie paused, surprised by his answer. “You can see very much if you get killed.”

“I don’t want to die but I think there are times that dying is necessary.” Armin replied, intrigued by the fact that Annie seemed to be concerned about his life.

Annie was quiet for a moment, continuing her work before the compliment escaped her lips. “You’re weak but you’ve got guts.”

Armin smiled. “You’re actually a nice person, aren’t you, Annie?”

Annie’s eyes widened, taken aback by such a statement. No one had ever said something like that to her before.

“You’re all set here, Arlert.” She said, finally shaking off her surprise to fall back into her calm and cold facade.

“Thank you, Annie.” Armin gave a little wave as he left the room. When he went back to sit with his friends, Mikasa watched him curiously as he sat down with a little smile.

She hadn’t told them yet that she had been discovered. She wasn’t sure if she should trust Ymir and Krista but she didn’t have much choice. It also wouldn’t be terrible to have more allies that could help if she needed someone to cover for her.

They waited until it was finally Eren’s turn to get his exam, being taken in by Annie. Annie didn’t seem as talkative around Eren, not entirely impressed by anything in his file. Just a generally mediocre soldier.

That was until she drew blood and went to place the cotton pad over the mark, only to find it had disappeared. She hesitated a minute before placing the cotton pad anyway and covering it with the medical tape.

“Do you find yourself recovering quickly when injured?” She asked, turning away to place the vial of blood on a tray to be taken in for testing.

Eren thought the question was strange but Annie didn’t really seem like the usual nurse anyway. “I recover at a normal rate.”

Annie gave him a look with an eyebrow raised slightly. “You’re all set, Yeager.”

Something about the interaction was weird but Eren shrugged it off and left to join his friends without another thought. Annie grabbed the vial of blood from the tray and slipped it into her pocket once he left, switching it out with another.

——————

During their regular combat training, Eren was paired off with Reiner and was doing well holding his own. He had just knocked the large blond man down when Reiner spotted a familiar form walking past the field.

“Hey, look! It’s that nurse from earlier.” Reiner pointed out. Eren looked over his shoulder to see Annie walking by in causal clothes, her hands in the front pockets of her hoodie.

It was unusual for a girl to be hanging around the combat field so she caught their attention pretty quickly.

“She totally looks down on us, I think we ought to show her how it’s done.” Reiner said, trotting over to talk to the nurse. Annie and Reiner exchanged a few words before she was following him onto the field. “Alright, Eren, show her your moves.” Reiner shoved Eren forward and Annie got into a fighting stance.

“What?” Eren looked between the two, bewildered.

“What’s the matter? Can’t fight a girl?” Reiner taunted.

Oh, if you only knew, Eren mused to himself. He had already been defeated by Mikasa more times than he’d like to admit.

“No, I can do it.” He said, mirroring Annie’s stance. He just was aware that most girls weren’t like Mikasa and he didn’t want to hurt Annie.

That fear was quickly diminished when his attempts at getting the upper hand over Annie were quickly overthrown. He felt her hook a leg around his and then his world spun as he was flipped over and landed hard on the ground.

Eren groaned, his back hurting from the impact. How the hell did she know how to do that? “Where did you learn those moves?” He asked, pulling himself back up to his feet.

Annie’s face was stoic, she hadn’t even broken a sweat fighting Eren. “My father taught me self defense.”

“Self defense?” Eren was doubtful that was a normal self defense move. Feeling annoyed that he had been thrown about so easily, he turned to Reiner. “Since it was your idea, why don’t you take a turn?”

Reiner balked at the suggestion, nervously glancing in the direction of Bertolt and then at Annie. “I don’t really think that’s necessary...”

“Why not?” Annie asked, returning to her fighting stance. “Afraid to hit a girl?” He tone held a hint of mocking and Reiner regretted teasing Eren.

His eyes narrowed at the challenge and he reluctantly agreed. His failure was just as swift as Eren’s and the big guy was on the ground with a smack before he could get in any solid hits.

“Annie, can you teach me those moves?” Eren asked, genuinely intrigued by the technique.

Annie shrugged, parting her lips to reply when a ominous presence was felt by everyone. Eren turned his head to see Mikasa standing there, expression dark and intimidating.

“Yeah, Annie, why don’t you teach me too?” Mikasa asked, though the tone of her voice suggested that it was more of a challenge than a friendly request.

Annie matched her gaze and despite being so small in stature, she didn’t look at all like someone you wanted to mess with.

“What are you doing on the field?” Shadis’ voice rang out as he yelled to the group. “Get out of here before you get hurt!”

Annie snorted softly, as if that would happen. “Another time.” She said, turning on her heel and walking off. Eren had to admit that he was a little disappointed he couldn’t see Mikasa and Annie face off. That would be a really interesting fight.

“Are you ok?” Mikasa asked, noting the way Eren was still favoring his back.

“Yeah, nothing is broken, I just went down hard.” He shrugged, the pain already fading away.

“I don’t trust her.” Mikasa muttered, dark eyes watching as Annie retreated. Eren made a small noise in agreement. There was definitely something strange about her but she was also really cool.

—————

Part of their training included assignments out in the forest, learning to work in teams and coming up with mission reports. Their task was fairly simple, just follow along an assigned path and circle back, reporting on their findings along the way. It would take a couple days to complete, but they would have a day off when they returned if their team was successful.

Marco was assigned to lead the group and Armin was tasked with keeping notes on the mission. It seemed like an easy enough way to earn some time off, but of course trouble followed them whenever Eren and Jean were together.

They were arguing about something idiotic again, yelling at each other from their respective spots on each of their horses. Collective sighs and sounds of exasperation could be heard throughout the group. Their trip would feel so much longer with them fighting every step of the way.

“What did you say?” Eren yelled, halting his horse and jumping off to confront Jean. The rest of the group pulled on the reins, having to stop because their comrade was blocking the way.

“I said it’s lucky this assignment doesn’t require any skill. You might actually pass this time.” Jean taunted, smirking as he stopped his horse as well. He stayed where he was though, enjoying looking down on his rival.

“I bet you love an assignment like this, you horsefaced coward! You don’t have to experience any real danger and can just sit on your lazy ass like you would as an MP!” Eren yelled back, balling his hands up into fists.

Armin was hurriedly scribbling down their insults, looking a bit distressed.

“Armin, don’t write that down!” Marco panicked, waving his hand for Armin to stop reporting on the fight. “Everyone just calm down and keep going, this should be an easy assignment so there’s no need to argue.”

But Marco wasn’t heard over the arguing from the two hot-tempered idiots.

Jean jumped down from his saddle at that, marching over to Eren and grabbing the front of his shirt. “What do you know about real danger? You would probably die in your first battle!”

The two began throwing punches at each other, starting an all out brawl.

The sound of pen scratching against paper again made Marco groan in despair. “Armin, no, they’ll stop soon enough.”

Between a litany of insults, Eren suddenly got the idea to try something out, grabbing onto Jean’s shoulder and hooking his leg around the other soldier’s. He flipped him before Jean ever knew what was happening and he came down hard onto the ground. Jean laid there, stunned for a moment.

Mikasa tensed, immediately recognizing the move. It still bothered her, how Eren had responded to Annie’s skill with awe and admiration and he had always gotten annoyed whenever Mikasa had bested him in a fight.

“What the hell was that move?” Jean shouted, pulling himself back up again. He felt embarrassed that Eren had just humiliated him in front of Mikasa. He would not let that slide.

“Something I picked up.” Eren replied with a smug grin. It had actually worked!

As Jean and Eren got ready to throw some more punches, Mikasa gracefully dismounted and walked over, scooping Eren up like a sack of potatoes.

Eren immediately protested, cheeks growing red with embarrassment. “Hey, Mikasa, let me down!”

Mikasa did just that, walking Eren off to the side and throwing him on the ground. She flipped her scarf over her shoulder and blew her bangs out of her face. The stoic look she gave him made him shut up immediately.

“Stop blocking the path with your juvenile arguments. The rest of us work hard enough that we deserve a break and we don’t need you two bringing down Marco’s score because he couldn’t control you two.” She said, her eyes flashing in a way that said she could dismember him if he acted up again.

Eren rarely was on the wrong end of one of Mikasa’s fear-inspiring stares, but he definitely did not like the feeling at all. He bit back the urge to come up with a retort about Mikasa not being his mother, but he knew it would not be appreciated and he might actually lose his head.

Jean felt shame over his immature actions but also noted how extremely hot Mikasa was when she looked like that. She radiated strength and power and a level of badass that was not to be messed with. “He’s perfect.” Jean whispered to himself.

Turning on her heel, Mikasa calmly walked back to her horse and mounted again as if she hadn’t just schooled her childhood friend in front of the group. Marco mouthed “thank you” to the girl before instructing everyone to go back to their formation and continue forward.

Eren was visibly pouting as he went back to his horse and quietly followed direction until they reached the first campsite.

Things went pretty smoothly from that point on, Marco giving them all their assignments to carry out in order to set up camp for the night. Reiner and Bertolt were assigned to set up the tents and Connie was in charge of handling the rations for dinner, Armin continued to take notes and observe, and Mikasa was sent out to collect firewood. Much to their chagrin, Eren and Jean were assigned to work together unpacking supplies.

Mikasa enjoyed the alone time as she ventured into the woods, axe thrown over her shoulder. She chopped down a good amount already, but she lingered in the forest longer than she should since she knew she had completed her job much quicker than most other people would have. The heat of summer was upon them and sweat trickled down her brow, pooling around her neck, under the heavy weave of the scarf. She knew she came off like a lunatic with such a cold weather item in the blazing heat, but it was like a security blanket for her. She hardly ever took it off for very long.

She reached a stream though and paused, the temptation of the cool, mountain water beckoning her to give in. Unwrapping the scarf from around her neck, she gently draped it over a nearby branch and dipped her fingers into the cool water, sighing at the feel. She scooped upenough to pool in her palm before splashing it onto the back of her neck. It helped, but at the same time it only made her realize how uncomfortable the rest of her body felt under the layers of her uniform (and uncomfortable bandages around her chest).

The thought struck her that she was alone and no one knew where she was. Smiling deviously, she began to shed more layers, kicking off boots and hurriedly undoing buttons. She undressed completely, feeling oddly exposed although she was alone.

Mikasa carefully stepped into the water, shivering at how each step cooled her body temperature down to something more comfortable. It took a few minutes to adjust, but soon enough she was dunking under the water and completely submerging to wash off all the sweat and dirt. It felt so freeing to swim around without having to constantly look over her shoulder.

What she didn’t realize was that Eren had finished up his assignment with Jean and had sought her out to apologize for being a brat earlier. He knew he was sabotaging everyone else if he messed up their mission and he didn’t want to be the reason they all failed. Though to be fair, that asshole Jean really started it...

Eren wandered around in the woods for a while, wondering where Mikasa had gone before he spotted a familiar flash of red. Her scarf! She never took that off, maybe something had happened. Panicking, he ran forward to see if he could spot her nearby.

He was not at all prepared for the sight he stumbled upon.

Mikasa had her back facing him, the entire expanse of her pale skin on display down to the small of her back, just the hint of a curve to her bottom visible before the rest of the view was hidden under the water.

Eren’s eyes widened, his brain delayed on processing the sight in front of him due to the fact that his blood had rushed in two different directions all at once: his face and well...south.

Oh.

Mikasa had always been modest and shy about her body and always hid it under loose clothes with long sleeves. No matter how much time she spent working hard on toning her body, she wasn’t the type to show off.

Eren swallowed hard, realizing just how much Mikasa had grown up since they were kids. There was a difference between knowing she was a woman and seeing that much skin.

Mikasa heard the rustle of footsteps and quickly turned, her arms automatically coming up to hide her chest from view as she faced Eren’s flaming red face.

Mikasa wished for nothing more than to dissolve into a puddle at that moment, so embarrassed and startled to be caught skinny dipping in front of Eren of all people. She sunk down to her knees, hiding more of herself from view.

Eren subconsciously knew he should look away out of respect but his teenage brain had pretty much ceased working and he just stood there frozen for far too long.

“Eren.” Mikasa said, the coolness of the water doing nothing to help the heat rising to her cheeks. “What are you doing here?”

Words, words...

Eren knew he had them somewhere in his brain if he could just stop thinking about pale, smooth skin and curves for a second.

She’s Mikasa, you idiot. What are you doing?

He huffed in embarrassment, finally turning his head away to hopefully get his brain functioning again. “What are _you_ doing?” He asked in return, his automatic response of anger flaring up, even though it was mostly at himself for having impure thoughts about his friend. “Anyone could have seen you, Mikasa! Are you out of your mind!”

Mikasa frowned, looking down in shame. She had been careless and Eren was right. She could have blown her cover over something as stupid as cooling off. “I’m sorry.” She whispered.

Eren’s anger quickly dissipated, since he wasn’t really angry with her anyway. His heart was beating a million miles a minute and he knew if he didn’t calm down, he might pass out.

“It’s fine, you just need to be careful.” He turned his back to her, digging his nails into his palms to focus on that rather than anything else. “Come out and get dressed. We’re eating soon.”

Mikasa hesitated before carefully making her way back to the pile of clothes she left on shore.

Eren closed his eyes tightly but every rustle of cloth conjured images he wasn’t ready for. He tried to think about something distracting, but it was nearly impossible to ignore her proximity. It felt like an eternity before she had finished dressing, but eventually she stepped up beside him and cleared her throat, signaling that he could open his eyes.

Those intense green eyes were slowly revealed to her again, although the air was thick with an awkward tension.

“Did you...” she blushed, tucking her face behind the security of her scarf. “Did you see...anything?”

Getting asked that question seemed to break Eren as he forgot to even swallow his own saliva and started choking.

“E-Eren?” Mikasa reached forward in concern, startled by the sudden bout of coughing.

Eren quickly brushed her touch away, quite sure he couldn’t handle skin on skin contact right now. He hurriedly starting walking back towards camp, avoiding any more eye contact. Mikasa watched him go, wishing the ground could open up and swallow her whole. So he had seen at least enough for things to be awkward.

—————

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: thank you for reading another chapter! Please leave comments and kudos if you liked it.


	4. Chapter 4

When they arrived back at the campsite, there were a few awkward questions that were asked like why Mikasa’s hair was wet and why Eren was acting so weird. Eren hadn’t spoken a word since they got back, eyes trained on the ground as he chewed his meager rations.

Mikasa held it together a little better, giving an excuse that she had gotten her hair wet to help with the heat. No one really thought it was a big deal because they all thought she was a guy and even if she told them she went into the water naked they probably wouldn’t have even blinked an eye, except for Armin of course.

Armin kept looking between the two in that annoyingly concerned why, like he knew something happened and he was going to question them later about it.

Even feeling as distraught as she did, Mikasa still noticed something was amiss when she heard rustling leaves nearby. She turned her head to the forest, immediately in defense mode.

“There’s someone there.” Mikasa announced to the group, though no one else heard anything.

“Maybe it’s an animal.” Jean suggested, since they were pretty far from the nearest town.

“Yeah, I think we’re the only ones out here.” Marco agreed, trying to set her at ease.

Mikasa nodded, knowing they were probably right. She relaxed and tried to focus on eating the rest of her food.

Then they heard a thump from their supplies wagon.

“That might be worth checking out.” Reiner said, rising to his feet.

“Do you think it’s a bear?” Connie questioned, suddenly growing nervous.

Mikasa withdrew a knife, they were given one to use for survival purposes. “One way to find out.”

They decided to check it out as a group, heading to the source of the noise. Reiner insisted on being the one to lift back the curtain to reveal the inside, but Mikasa was at the ready to jump in and attack if need be.

Inside the wagon they saw a girl, hair back in a ponytail with cheeks puffed out, full of food. She had the rest of their rations scattered around her, a steamed potato in her hands.

They were all a bit dumbfounded at the sight of this stranger just chowing down on their food.

“Who the hell are you?” Connie demanded.

The girl swallowed the food in her mouth and offered the other half of the potato as if that were calling for a truce. “I’m Sasha Blouse.” She answered as if it wasn’t totally weird for her to be there.

“Hey, get out of there and drop our food!” Jean yelled, moving forward to grab the girl and haul her out.

“Jean, it’s ok.” Marco stopped Jean and he sat in front of the girl, offering his hand. “Marco Bodt, nice to meet you, Sasha.”

She smiled and shook his hand. “Sorry I took your food.” She apologized, though still taking another bite of potato. “I just haven’t eaten all day.”

“Why’s that?” Marco prompted.

She looked down, her smile fading away. “I ran away, I was angry at my dad because he told me that we were no longer going to be hunters and that we had to raise horses. I don’t want to raise horses.”

Marco nodded in understanding. There was a scarcity of meat in the area because the forest had shrunk due to the need for more farmland since many farming areas were destroyed In the attack years ago.

“What are we going to do with her?” Reiner questioned, since she definitely wasn’t part of their assignment.

“Sasha,” Armin said, moving to sit next to Marco in front of the girl. “Do you have any skills?”

She nodded eagerly, her face brightening again. “Of course, I’m good at hunting but I also am good at shooting too. I can also cook.”

“Oh good, we need a good cook back at the base if you would like to come back with us.”

“Really?” Sasha’s eyes shined with excitement.

“Really.”

“Are you sure they will even let her just join as a cook, Armin?” Jean asked incredulously. Plus, she had already eaten nearly all their rations for the rest of the journey.

Armin shrugged, not exactly sure it would be successful, but the food back at the base was nearly cardboard so it couldn’t hurt.

Mikasa smiled at Armin’s suggestion, remembering how they ran away from the orphanage and were searching for food. It was better to be in a position where they could help someone who was hungry.

“We might need her hunting skills too, since she ate all our food.” She added.

Eren continued to be quiet, just observing the situation unfold.

————

Each of the tents at their camp could fit two soldiers and they decided that Sasha, being the only girl (that the majority of them were aware of), would get her own tent, so two tents had to squeeze in three.

Normally Eren would suggest that he, Mikasa and Armin share, but due to the recent events, he was not exactly looking forward to the idea. Reiner and Bertolt already decided to share a tent and since they were both rather tall and muscular, they wouldn’t really have room for another.

Eren did see Jean slide over to Mikasa and he felt like his blood was boiling when Jean asked if she wanted to stay in his tent.

“Mikasa, would you like to share with me?” He asked, cheeks flushed at the thought of someone so beautiful next to him all night.

Mikasa shifted her gaze over to Eren and he still had his head down but it looked like he was ready to snap. For Jean’s sake, she had to say no or else he would end up dead.

She didn’t get the chance to reply though, Eren speaking up for the first time all night. “No!” Everyone looked at him with quizzical expressions, wondering what the hell was going on with him.

Even laughed nervously, sure he sounded crazy. “I mean... Jean should be in a tent with me, since we need to learn to get along better.” He was going to damn himself to a night of trying not to strangle that arrogant jerk but then at least he could make sure Jean wasn’t making moves on Mikasa.

Armin took that as a cue to help, piping up. “I will room with Mikasa then. Good for you, Eren, working on being a team player.”

Jean scowled, however, annoyed that Eren butt into his plans of getting closer to Mikasa.

“Won’t they just kill each other?” Connie wondered aloud, doubtful that would go smoothly.

“No, I’ll room with them to make sure they don’t.” Marco volunteered, which would mean that Connie would be joining Mikasa and Armin.

They separated and went to their tents, setting up the sleeping bags. Mikasa was thankful to have Connie with them since Armin would have likely pressed for details about what happened earlier and she wasn’t in the mood to explain.

Eren reluctantly laid down his sleeping bag, glad that Marco volunteered to be in the middle. He was probably thinking that if one of them did try to kill the other, they would reach over him and wake him up.

What Eren didn’t expect was for Jean to turn to him when Marco left the tent to put out the fire and confront him. “What are you and Mikasa? Are you together?”

Eren tensed, fingers clenching in the material of his sleeping bag. “What does it matter to you?” He snapped back.

“I like him,” Jean admitted. “It seems like you keep getting in the way.”

“He’s a man.” Eren stated, grabbing at straws for something to avoid answering the question. He would have said they were just friends or family, but there was a gnawing feeling inside him that said it wasn’t true.

Jean hesitated, knowing that wasn’t normally his preference, but he had decided it didn’t matter and Mikasa was the exception. “That doesn’t seem to bother you.” He countered, daring Eren to admit it too.

Eren went quiet, trying not to picture pale skin damp with water. He didn’t respond to seeing her earlier in a platonic way but could he really be blamed for that at his age?

He was saved from providing an answer by Marco coming back into the tent.

It was already established though, the damage had been done. Jean just announced himself a rival for Mikasa’s attention.

Eren narrowed his eyes at Jean, watching the other boy turn his back and settle into his sleeping bag as if he hadn’t just declared war.

He laid back on his own spot, silently going over different ways to kill Jean. It at least distracted him from other unwelcome thoughts surrounding the girl giving him questionable feelings.

————

The next morning they awoke to the smell of meat roasting over the fire. Sasha had caught some lizards that she claimed “tasted like chicken” and she was happily holding them out on a stick over the fire, chanting “meat” to herself over and over.

Connie looked to his comrades, raising an eyebrow. “We finally have a girl around here and she has to be that weird?”

Reiner laughed, nodding in agreement. “I would rather have someone pretty like nurse Krista.” He have a sly glance over to Bertolt, who was sitting next to him. “Bertolt prefers Annie though.”

Bertolt’s face grew red and he nudged Reiner’s side. “I-I don’t!” He protested, but his reaction gave it away.

“Annie is really pretty.” Armin agreed quietly, almost so quiet that Mikasa didn’t hear it. She smiled at her friend, since it was the first time he had ever admitted to finding someone pretty.

“I like someone with beautiful black hair.” Jean said, glancing sideways at Mikasa before he sipped his water. “What about you, Eren?”

Not this again, Eren thought to himself. He gave Jean an exasperated look, knowing his answer would piss him off. “I don’t have time for love. I have more important things to worry about, like winning the war.”

Jean scowled at his answer, but quickly dropped it in favor of looking to Mikasa. “What about you, Mikasa?”

Mikasa was still shaken by Eren’s answer so she took a minute to respond. What could she say to that?

“I’m with Eren.” She paused and Jean thought it was almost a confession of their relationship, but she continued. “We need to focus on fighting right now.”

Jean let out a breath of relief. Well, it wasn’t exactly rejection but it wasn’t what he wanted to hear either.

————

The trip back to base was rather uneventful and that was really quite welcome for the tired group. With some convincing when they came back, Sasha was hired into the kitchens, though they weren’t entirely sure that she wouldn’t just steal all the food for herself.

Armin managed to brilliantly report how they had assisted a civilian and had worked through their differences as a team and that earned them a day off.

They were thrilled of course and each of them had their own plans with what they would do with their time. Mikasa didn’t really know what she wanted to do, she usually just spent her time with her friends, but things had been strained between her and Eren since the incident.

They came to get her anyway, before the train arrived take them into the nearest city. Armin was reading some book about the ocean the entire way into town while Mikasa stared out the window. Eren was quiet, busy with his thoughts. He didn’t seem as withdrawn as he had before, but things still hadn’t settled completely.

When they arrived, they headed out to explore, stopping at a shop to grab some ice cream to eat while they sat on some park benches.

“Everyone used their time to visit family.” Armin said, staring wistfully into the distance, no doubt missing his grandfather.

Mikasa thought about her parents too, wondering if they would be proud of her, if they would have even let her disguise herself as a soldier anyway. She then thought about Eren’s parents and how they had given her a second chance at a family. She looked over to Eren, wondering if he would finally loosen up around her again.

Eren watched, almost detached from the world as the ice cream melted down his fingers.

He hated feeling helpless and he had been helpless to save his mother. He had no home to return to.

“Eren, you’re getting ice cream everywhere.” Mikasa interrupted his thoughts by reaching over to dap a napkin over his fingers. He just let her clean him up, a small smile forming on his lips.

“Yours is melting too.” He countered, lifting his own cone to resume eating so the mess wouldn’t continue to worsen.

Startled, Mikasa quickly licked the melting drops of ice cream rolling down the sides of the cone before they could touch her hands. Eren choked on his mouthful of ice cream, his gaze quickly darting away.

Armin watched the exchange before he just burst out into laughter. His best friends were so clueless but at least they were interacting again.

————

They enjoyed the rest of the day wandering around and joking with each other, almost feeling like they were kids again.

When they returned to the dorms, Mikasa headed in by herself to change before dinner, finding a neatly wrapped box with a blue ribbon on her bed. Curiously, she moved over and unwrapped it, lifting the lid carefully. Nested in the box was a simple blue dress with long sleeves that slightly puffed out around the wrist and an a-line skirt decorated with tiny blue flowers. The top of the dress was a modest scoop neck that would highlight her collarbones, but nothing more than that. When she lifted it out of the box, a note fell out from between the folds of the fabric. She picked it up, reading the simple, direct message.

“ _Keep your damn clothes on_.” It said, with no signature from the sender. Mikasa already knew who it was from though, the combination of Eren fulfilling his promise of getting her a new dress and the note obviously referring to their embarrassing run in.

When did he have the chance to grab this?

She started laughing, hugging the dress to her chest with tears of mirth in her eyes. She wasn’t sure when she would be able to wear it, but she would keep it tucked away safely until she could.

————

Not everyone saw their families with the free time they had. Reiner and Bertolt walked up to the predetermined spot in the forest, coming across Annie sitting on top of a log.

“Did you send the sample to the professor?” Reiner asked, coming to a stop in front of her.

“Yes, he said it was a match. He wants us to capture Eren Yeager.” Annie replied.

“How are we going to do that? Just kidnap him?” Bertolt questioned, brows furrowed in worry. That sounded far too risky for their covers.

“No.” Annie answered, eyes darkening. “We have to attack. Zeke wants us to awaken Eren’s powers so we know what we’re dealing with.”

“Sorry I’m late, I didn’t want to come.” Another voice interrupted, Ymir stepping out from the tree line to approach the group.

The three turned towards her, regarding her as something unsettling. They all grew tense, expressions betraying the fact that they viewed her as unwelcome.

“Traitorous bitch.” Reiner greeted, moving forward to start a fight. Bertolt quickly grabbed hold of him, stopping him from attacking.

“I may have killed Marcel to be here but you’re the one he had to bribe the higher ups to let in.” Ymir snapped back at him, leaning against a tree nonchalantly.

Reiner lunged at her and Bertolt had to use all his strength to hold him back. Annie sighed, standing up to walk in between them.

“There’s more,” she added. “Eren’s serum was stabilized with another set of DNA and his powers won’t degenerate his body over time.”

“So you’re saying we might not be on a suicide mission if we can grab this kid?” Ymir questioned, suddenly intrigued.

“It’s possible,” Annie shrugged, not really getting her hopes up over the idea. They all were on borrowed time the minute they had taken the serum and she had made peace with that. Reiner relaxed in Bertolt’s hold, conflicted about the idea of continuing to live even with the consequences of their actions. Would they really deserve it with what they were going to do?

————

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: probably going to be the last “happy” chapter for a bit, after this there’s going to be more actual plot developments taking place. I will try to keep my update schedule regular, but I think the coming scenes will be harder to write.


	5. Chapter 5

Everything surrounding him was on fire, eating up the buildings around him. His flesh was burning and peeling off, causing him to scream in agony.

Was he in hell?

He saw a flash of wings before him, attached to a woman with blonde hair, a white mask covering the upper half of her face.

Was that an angel?

She charged at him with a sword and he woke with a start, breathing hard and shaking.

Eren looked around him at the rest of the sleeping occupants of the dorm rooms, relieved he hadn’t woken anyone. He sighed, relaxing back into bed and acknowledging that it was just a dream, no matter how real it felt.

They were going to get the results of their ranks in the morning and he was probably just stressed out about it.

He closed his eyes again, but sleep never came back to him.

————

The results were in, the top ten were chosen and could have their pick of where they wanted to serve. Mikasa was top of the class, which wasn’t a surprise, but Eren was higher up on the list than expected, which of course annoyed Jean to no end.

All the cadets were in town, celebrating at a little pub for the last time as the 104th cadets. They would choose the branches they wanted to work in the next day.

“We can make it to the Military Police now!” Marco said excitedly, clapping Jean in the back. Jean made a small sound of acknowledgment, still annoyed that he had gotten outranked by his arch enemy.

“We can finally have a cushy job away from the war zone, isn’t that right, Marco?” Jean replied, taking a swig of his drink.

“No, that’s not it!” Marco protested, holding up his hands. “I just want to honorably serve the king.”

Jean snorted in disbelief. “Oh give me a break! Who do you think really believes you would join the MP just for the king? You want to sit back in the safest section of Paradis so that you don’t get your head blown off like the rest of those suicidal maniacs.” Jean pointedly glanced over at Eren as he said that.

Eren took the bait and stood up to yell at Jean, but Mikasa was quicker, immediately tugging back down into his seat.

“Don’t start it tonight, he’s just bitter you outranked him but everything changes tomorrow and you need to stop bickering like little kids.”

Eren frowned, but knew she was right so he calmed down. It might be the last night he had to see that arrogant jerk after all. “So which branch are you enlisting in?” He asked after a small pause.

“I’m joining the corps. I’ll go wherever you go, Eren. Do you think after all of this I would go somewhere far away from you?” Eren looked over at Mikasa, studying her cool composure.

“Mikasa, with your scores you could join the MPs and probably get special treatment.” He tried to persuade her, a last ditch effort to keep her out of harms way. “When are you going to stop following me around?”

Mikasa tugged on her scarf unconsciously bringing it up higher on her face. “For the rest of my life. I can’t lose anyone else.” Eren lowered his gaze, knowing that he couldn’t argue with that.

“What about you, Armin?” He turned to his other friend, wondering what path he would take.

Armin ducked his head down, knowing his choice would sound crazy. “I’m joining the survey corps.”

“What? Are you serious?” Eren stared at his friend in disbelief, uneasy about the idea of Armin joining the most dangerous branch.

“I know I’m not like you two, I’m weak. I know they told me I should take on a research or technician job since my strength was intellectual, but I don’t want to live in hiding.”

Mikasa and Eren were quiet, respecting Armin’s decision. The party started breaking up around them, cadets heading back to the dorms. They rose from their seats too, heading out to the street to make the journey back.

What the didn’t expect was to see chaos outside, people and soldiers running past, shouts coming from all directions.

The three looked to see that a massive fire had started in the south and there was a concentration of smoke coming from that area.

“Head to the armory and prepare yourselves for combat!” One of the local officers yelled at them. “We’re under attack!”

Eren’s eyes went wide, suddenly reminded of his dream. He looked at the skyline, recognizing the buildings. Could it be coincidence or prophecy?

“Come on! We need to get armed or we’ll be dead!” Mikasa tugged on Eren’s arm to break out of his thoughts.

Eren came back to the present, joining his friends in running to the armory. This was his chance, he could kill as many Marleyan soldiers as possible!

————

Once at the armory, they received their orders and soldiers and were sorted into their squads.

“Ackerman, you join the elite squad that will assist civilians in evacuating the city in the rearguard. The rest of you trainees will be broken into teams and head in different directions to cut off the advancement of the enemy in the middle and the garrison will take the vanguard. Dedicate your heart!”

They all saluted in return, although Mikasa hesitated, looking to Eren and Armin. They would be separated and she couldn’t protect them.

Armin’s hands shook as he outfitted himself with his guns and the double swords sheathed in an x across the back. They all had the same gear, but he knew his would be less effective because he lacked the same skill.

“If things get to hairy, find me. I’ll protect you.” Mikasa insisted, turning to Eren. He returned her look with one of exasperation.

“Mikasa, we aren’t even on the same squad! And besides that, I don’t need to be protected all the time!” He yelled back, irritated that she was babying him before their first battle even started.

“Trainee Mikasa! Report to the rearguard!” Ian Dietrich, the team leader, ordered.

“But, sir, I’m only a trainee.” She tried to protest, but Ian wasn’t having it.

“Citizens will die if we don’t evacuate them quickly enough. They need your protection more than Eren.”

Mikasa parted her lips to protest before Eren bumped his head against hers. “You shouldn’t have become a soldier if you couldn’t make sacrifices to save the people!”

Mikasa looked contrite, knowing she was being selfish. “Just don’t die.” She pleaded, placing her hand over his heart. Eren tensed, watching her walk away.

He couldn’t die, he had to seek revenge and earn their freedom.

————

Marleyan soldiers streamed in from the main gate into Trost, gun shots raining fire on anyone they came across— man, woman or child. The garrison was ill prepared for an attack of this scale, falling prey to the element of surprise.

“What the hell is that?” One of garrison soldiers gasped, watching as a giant humanoid creature with flames dancing over his body walked through the streets, fire streaming from his hands onto the buildings as he walked through, engulfing them in flames before anyone could escape.

“Aim your cannon fire at the monster!”

The cannons blasted at the creature but in a puff of smoke, it was gone from before them, leaving only the wild, raging fires in its path to give any evidence that it had been there.

“What the hell?” He watched in horror and disbelief. If Marley had those kinds of monsters, they were all doomed.

————

Eren raced through the streets with the other cadets assigned to his squad, Armin included. The enemies had already made it to their assigned sector though. A cadet named Thomas had his head blown off with a gun shot, his lifeless body falling before them as they were attacked.

Eren pushed Armin behind a building for cover, ducking down himself. He cursed the fact that they already lost a member of their squad and others soon followed, unfortunately not able to find cover in time.

“I’ll kill them all!” Eren cried, raising his own firearm to shoot at the enemies over the top of a wagon. He got a few hits in before a Marleyan soldier threw a grenade at them. “Run!” Eren yelled to Armin, the grenade landing too close to them. Armin froze in place in fear, causing Eren to jump over to push him away from the blast as it exploded behind them.

Armin’s ears were ringing from the blast, his head spinning as he registered a weight on top of him.

“E-Eren!” Armin cried out, his friend’s body laying on his, the warmth of Eren’s blood soaking into Armin’s clothes. “Oh god, Eren...” Armin looked down to the lower part of his best friends body to see half of his left leg was missing.

Eren groaned in agony, arms reaching out to hold on to Armin. “Play dead.” He ground out between his teeth.

Armin felt tears come to his eyes and he did as Eren told him, falling back against the ground, trying not to shake.

Gunfire sounded again and several shots hit Eren’s body as he acted as a shield, covering Armin from the bullets. Armin struggled to keep still, tears freely flowing down his face. He was a useless person! How could he fail so miserably so quickly that Eren would throw his life away like that?

Eren slumped against him, blood gurgling out of his mouth. Armin used every ounce of control not to scream, waiting it out until the sounds of soldiers footsteps were faint enough to be safe. He pushed Eren’s body off his and took in the damage, hand coming up to clasp over his mouth. He screamed into his palm in anguish, the sound muffled enough not to be heard over the sounds of warfare.

“I’m sorry, Eren...” he choked out, turning to the side to vomit up the contents of his stomach. He realized he should move, he should get out of the way, but he didn’t have the strength.

He wasn’t even sure how long he sat there until help came.

“Armin!” A familiar voice shouted, breaking through his haze of despair. “Wake up! Are you hurt? Why are you covered in blood?”

Armin blinked, seeing Connie’s face in front of him. He looked around, startled to see that Eren wasn’t anywhere to be seen even though the blood soaked ground was evidence that he had been there.

“What happened? Where’s your squad?” Connie asked, shaking Armin’s shoulders.

Armin screamed out loud, the scenes of his squad being shot down and blown apart haunting his mind.

“You useless bastard!” Armin screamed at himself, tearing at his hair.

“Hey, shut up!” Connie hissed, pulling Armin’s hands away from his head. “Pull yourself together!”

Armin looked at him with bloodshot eyes, hollow and empty. “Eren died for me. He’s gone... the whole squad is...” he trailed off, bile rising back up in his throat. Connie paled, realizing what had happened.

“Then come on, man, you can’t let his sacrifice be for nothing.” He pulled Armin up and hooked his arm around his neck so they could make it back to his squad.

Armin nodded weakly, glad to have the support since his legs felt like lead.

————

Mikasa fought with all her might any soldier that happened to slip through the cracks in their defense. One soldier ran straight towards the crowd of evacuating civilians, a little girl screaming in terror at the sight.

Mikasa moved in a flash, unsheathing the double swords from her back and jumping out to slice the solider apart, gun clattering onto the ground as he followed with a thud. She stepped on his back, watching coldly as he bled out on the ground.

“What’s taking them so long to evacuate?” She wondered aloud. She moved forward to make her way to the front of the crowd, finding a man blocking the way with a giant cart full of goods.

“Everyone help us push the cart through! This cargo is worth more than all of you combined!” The merchant shouted, his men pushing on the cart to try and fit it through the gate out of the city.

Mikasa’s eyes narrowed as she passed the useless solider that was doing nothing to stop it. “What are you doing?” She demanded, “My comrades are out there dying so you can evacuate.”

Dimo Reeves turned his anger on her, continuing his tirade. “It’s your duty to die for us! If you did your job and killed those assholes we wouldn’t have to evacuate!”

Mikasa’s eyes flashed and she brought up her sword, still dripping with blood. “My job is to ensure the townspeople get out of here safely. Even if I have to go through you.”

The portly man bristled with anger, raising his hand into a fist. “How dare you challenge the Reeves Company! I am the boss of this district and one word from me and that would be the end of you.”

Mikasa’s voice dropped to a dangerous level, blade glinting as she turned it into a attack position. “Corpses can’t talk.”

“Boss.” One of his lackeys whispered, growing nervous.

Reeves was impressed with her guts and gave the order to back the wagon up to let the people pass. The little girl from earlier tugged on Mikasa’s sleeve as she passed.

“Thank you.” She said, staring at Mikasa in awe. Her mother also joined in thanking Mikasa.

Mikasa sheathed her swords and gave them a salute. She may not have initially became a soldier to help those people but she had resolved to dedicate her heart to saving them.

Ian walked up to Mikasa, admiring her skill. “Nice kill.”

She looked towards the vanguard, feeling a pang in her heart as if something horrible had just happened. “Sir, since the evacuation is going well, can I join the vanguard and help fight?”

Ian contemplated the request, Ackerman was probably their best recruit and would be useful on the frontlines at that point. “Go ahead and go save your boyfriend.” He replied, teasingly.

Mikasa blushed at the insinuation, shaking her head. “We’re family.” She insisted, but he didn’t seem to be listening as he walked off to continue his patrol.

Shaking off the embarrassment, Mikasa headed off in the direction she knew Eren’s squad was supposed to be.

————

Jean cursed from his position on a rooftop, watching as buildings still burned. There were out of bullets, hiding out on the rooftop to keep themselves out of harm’s way while they devised a plan. Armin was still in a corner, too traumatized to move so little good would come from him.

“Why couldn’t they have waited a day until I was in the MP.” Jean sighed, turning around to face his comrades. It was only the three of them, since they had been separated from the rest of their squad.

“We need to make it back to the headquarters to reload or else we’ll die here either way. We still have our swords for close combat and we can...” Connie paused, his next thought causing him to go a little green. “We can take the rounds from any of our dead comrades.”

“That actually isn’t a bad idea.” Jean remarked, actually surprised to hear Connie come up with a strategy for them. They didn’t have many options anyway, if they just sat there, either the fire or the enemy would get to them.

“What are we going to do about him?” Connie asked in a hushed voice, jerking his head in the direction of Armin.

Jean went quiet, not exactly sure. Armin wasn’t really responding to anyone.

A click of boots sounding on the roof behind them caught their attention and they turned to see Mikasa landing there.

“Oh thank god.” Jean breathed, both in relief that she was still alive and that she had come to their aid.

“Weren’t you on the rearguard?” Connie asked, watching Mikasa’s eyes dart around to check who was in the area.

“The residents finished evacuating and I felt like I would be more use on the battlefield.” She paused, knowing it was probably selfish to ask where he was, but she had to. “Does anyone know where Eren’s squad is?”

Jean and Connie exchanges looks.

“When I found them, Armin was the only one left.” Connie said, stepping aside to reveal her friend.

Mikasa’s stomach dropped in fear, her world beginning to crumble around her. No, no....it couldn’t be!

She rushed over to Armin, dropping to her knees to be on his level. “Armin! Are you ok?” She asked, quickly inspecting him for wounds. He looked in tact, but his uniform was stained everywhere with blood.

Armin started crying again at the sight of Mikasa. His guilt bubbling up to surface all over again.

“I’m sorry, Mikasa!” He cried, burying his head in his hands. “Eren sacrificed himself for me and I was absolutely useless!”

Mikasa wasn’t sure what came over her. She stood up, her expression cool and calm, but her eyes had lost their light, like the fire had gone out of her soul. A part of her died with Eren.

“Now isn’t a time to be sentimental.” She said, holding her hand out to Armin. “Calm down and get up.”

Stunned, Armin took her hand and stood. How was Mikasa so calm? No, she wasn’t calm. She was numb.

Mikasa turned to the other two. “How much ammunition do you have left?”

“Nothing.” Jean replied, thrown off by how unresponsive Mikasa was to Eren’s passing. Someone who clung to that suicidal maniac, who lived and breathed for that man... something was off.

“I still have some.” Mikasa said, moving over to the edge of the roof. “We’ll make our way to back to headquarters to restock and then we’ll kill all of them.”

“The highest concentration of Marleyan soldiers is around headquarters right now. You can’t take them all on by yourself, Mikasa.” Connie pointed out.

“I’m the strongest one here!” Mikasa declared, unsheathing one of her swords. “Follow me unless you are a coward! I may die, but... if I live, I win. If I don’t fight, I can’t win.” She tightened he grip on the hilt of the sword and charged forward, leaping onto the rooftop of the next building.

“Tch, he’s sounding just like that idiot.” Jean sighed, running forward and following suit. He wasn’t crazy about the idea of following Mikasa on her suicide mission, but they didn’t have much choice. She was the strongest they had and the only one who had any bullets left.

Connie and Armin followed behind, both looking as nervous as they felt.

————

Mikasa slashed her way through the soldiers that she ran into on the way towards HQ, leaving a trail of bodies in her wake. She was living up to the her status of top ranking cadet, taking them out before they could even land a blow.

Armin knew better though, she was getting sloppy and careless.

As she moved to jump onto the next building, a hidden Marleyan officer shot at her, hitting her in the stomach.

She lost her footing and fell between the buildings, crying out in pain.

“Mikasa!” Armin yelled, panicking. Not her too! She was the strongest, she wasn’t supposed to get hurt.

Mikasa didn’t fall too far, it wasn’t enough to break bones but it was enough to disorient her.

She groaned, hand going down to stop the blood from gushing out of the gunshot wound. She didn’t think it hit anything vital, but she would still need to attend to it soon.

The officer was approaching her, gun aimed at her head.

It’s over, she thought to herself. She would soon be with Eren again in death.

She closed her eyes, memories of him flashing before her. His smiles and warmth, him wrapping the scarf around her neck...

Her eyes snapped open then.

No, she couldn’t give up the fight. She had to keep those memories alive so that Eren wasn’t lost forever.

She grit her teeth and tried to stand but a loud roar sounded behind her.

Someone jumped over her head and landed in front of her, shaking the ground.

A solider? No, she had never seen anyone like that before.

He had no shirt so she could see his broad back, muscles lacing every inch of his skin and his hair was long and wild. He had no lips, teeth exposed for all to see. And his ears were long, coming to a point at the top. Part of his left pant leg was missing as well. But it was the eyes that captured her.

That vivid green, that familiar rage.

The mysterious man ran towards the officer, bullets hitting his body but it didn’t stop him. He punched the officer so hard that his skull cracked and he fell to the ground.

The wild man stomped on the man’s head, the sickening cracks of bones breaking sounding throughout the little alley way.

Mikasa’s eyes widened, reminded of the boy that had repeated stabbed her kidnapper with a knife.

“Eren?”

————

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Obviously Eren has some powers, we will find out more later. I hope you liked this take on their first battle. I still want to keep some things true to the manga/anime while still adding my own flavor to it.
> 
> Thank you all you beautiful readers for your support! *blows kisses*


	6. Chapter 6

Reiner stood on a rooftop, watching the destruction fall upon Trost as they planned. Bertolt stepped up beside him, watching the scene unfold as well.

“You’re back.” Reiner acknowledged, without turning his head. “You only burned the houses near the main gate. It’s almost like you want to reduce casualties.”

Bertolt’s face was solemn, he didn’t take pleasure in destroying anyone’s home. It was just a way to protect his family but he was starting to wonder if it was fair to kill someone else’s family for the sake of his own.

“You could always transform if you think there aren’t enough.” Bertolt said quietly. Reiner tried to act like it wasn’t effecting him too but Bertolt knew he was breaking down on the inside whenever he split between his two personalities.

Marco had walked up behind the two, glad initially to see his comrades but the relief soon turned into confusion and fear.

“What are you guys talking about? Bertolt, did you start the fire?” He asked, eyes wide.

The two turned and looked at Marco in shock, realizing that they had blown their covers.

“You weren’t supposed to hear that.” Reiner’s gaze darkened, his other side fully taking over. “Bertolt, grab him.”

Bertolt moved forward and grabbed Marco before he could defend himself. Reiner stepped forward menacingly, taking away Marco’s guns from his side holsters.

“We have to kill him.” He said, glancing over to Bertolt.

Marco’s muffled screams were heard against Bertolt’s hand in protest.

Bertolt tensed, feeling uneasy about killing someone they had spent time with. Someone who he knew was actually a good person.

Luckily, he didn’t have to make the kill.

“What’s going on here?” Annie stepped into view, shifting her gaze from Reiner to Bertolt restraining a struggling Marco.

Marco looked over at Annie, eyes lighting up. Someone had come to save him! He made another muffled sound against Bertolt’s hand.

“He overheard Bertolt and I talking. We can’t let him live knowing about us.” Reiner explained, handing one of Marco’s guns to Annie.

“Kill him.” He instructed, daring Annie to prove her loyalty.

Annie took the gun, conflicted emotions rising inside of her as she looked up at Marco, seeing his face twist into despair. Bertolt stepped away from Marco to avoid any accidental bullets, even though he knew what a good shot Annie was. Perhaps it was also to distance himself from the horror of killing a former comrade.

Annie swallowed, Reiner continuing to demand her to shoot. Marco was crying and pleading for them to spare his life.

“Please, let’s just talk this over!” He begged, right before Annie pulled the trigger and a bullet passed right through his skull, blowing off half his face.

Annie dropped the gun in horror, putting a hand to her mouth when she saw what she had done. She had trained for this, had perfect aim and knew how to break every bone in a man’s body, but somehow seeing someone she had known personally with their half their head missing made her break her cool demeanor. She felt the coolness of a few tears escaping her eyes.

Bertolt turned his head away from the scene, heart aching for Annie, who he knew hadn’t wanted to do that and also for Marco, who had never deserved to be killed like that.

“Guys, what happened?” Reiner’s face transformed from something dark and cold back to the Reiner the 104th cadets were used to seeing. He stared at Marco in shock and horror, recognizing him. “Why is Marco dead?”

Bertolt gave Reiner a pained expression, wishing he knew the answer.

————

When Armin cried out Mikasa’s name, Connie and Jean quickly stopped running and turned back to hurry to the building Armin was standing on.

“What happened? Where is he?” Jean demanded, quickly growing worried.

“He got shot.” Armin answered, pointing down below where she lay dazed on the ground.

“Why isn’t he moving?” Jean panicked, moving to jump down after her, but Armin quickly grabbed him.

“No, the shooter is still down there. You’ll get shot too.” Armin said, voice shaky.

“So we’re supposed to do nothing?” Jean felt helpless, watching as the Marleyan officer advanced on the person he liked so much. If only he had ammo to take the guy out. Connie cursed beside them, they were so screwed without her.

Then it happened, the roar that sent shivers up their spines, the animalistic monster attacking the officer and crushing his bones.

“What the hell is that?” Connie yelled, watching in horror at the display. Would that thing attack them too?

“Mikasa!” Jean yelled, growing brave and jumping down off the roof to land on a an overhang from an abandoned store front, rolling off it to land by her side. He eyes were glued to the creature in front of her.

The green eyed monster halted his actions and turned his head towards them, quietly watching.

“Get away from him, you monster!” Jean yelled, pulling out the double swords to use to defend Mikasa.

Mikasa reached out and grabbed Jean, shaking her head. “No, Jean, he’s not an enemy.”

“How do you know that?” He asked, keeping in defense mode despite her protest.

“He saved me.” She said, wincing as she remembered the pain in her side. “And I’m afraid I’m not going to be much good from this point.”

Jean dropped his defenses, reluctantly sheathing the blades in order to slide an arm around Mikasa in support. Carefully, Connie and Armin climbed down from the building’s roof to join them on the ground, still suspicious of their new ally.

“Let’s use him to lead the way to HQ.” Armin suggested, turning to his friends. “He seems to have no interest in hurting us and we need help now that Mikasa is injured.”

Mikasa nodded in agreement.

“Are you sure we can trust it?” Connie asked, eyebrow raised. He wanted to get out of that hell hole more than anything but they knew nothing about...whatever that was.

“We’ll lead him in the right direction and see how it plays out.” Armin ran past the humanoid monster, waving his arms.

“Over here, big guy!” He called, continuing to run in the direction of HQ.

“This is mental.” Jean sighed, tightening his grip on Mikasa’s waist as he helped her walk at a slower pace following Armin.

To their surprise, the stranger followed them and protected them along the way, fighting off any enemy they came across. Bullets did little to deter him, his skin healing seconds after any holes were blown in him.

The rogue soldier continued to battle forthem as they snuck inside the armory to reload their guns. Mikasa was getting pale at that point, too much blood staining her shirt.

Armin watched her looking so vulnerable and felt guilty again, wishing he could be more useful. “I’m going to look for help!” He volunteered, placing his guns back in his holster. “Mikasa needs medical attention soon or we will lose him.”

Jean nodded, staying by her side. “I’ll stay here with him. Connie, keep a lookout until Armin comes back.”

Connie nodded, moving to keep watch at the door.

Armin ran down the halls, looking everywhere for any medical staff that may have been left behind. It may have been a long shot but he was desperate.

He saw a flash of blonde and a familiar hoodie and Armin felt relief wash though him as he ran down the hall at top speed and grabbed Annie’s arm. Annie turned and looked at him, unreadable expression on her face.

“Annie! I’m so glad you’re here! Mikasa’s been shot and we need your help!” He breathlessly explained. Annie seemed conflicted, eyes darting up to the rooftop where she had just murdered their comrade and then back down to Armin.

She could never atone for her sins, those already committed and those to come. Yet, she wanted Armin to continue to think she was a good person. She didn’t know why, but she didn’t want to see disappointment in his eyes.

“Let me grab a kit. Where is he?”

Armin smiled in relief. He could kiss Annie he was so happy. “In the armory.”

“I’ll meet you there.” She promised, turning to grab the needed supplies.

“Thank you, Annie.” He said as she walked away.

She ducked her head, glad Armin couldn’t see her face. If only you knew what I really was, then you wouldn’t smile so brightly at me, she thought.

————

Jean continued to put pressure on Mikasa’s wound, trying to stay calm for her sake. He never got the chance to confess but the current circumstances didn’t really seem like the best opportunity. He hated to agree with Eren, but love wasn’t their top priority and if he admitted his feelings then it would be admitting they had no time left.

Mikasa was very quiet, looking like she was just too tired to keep fighting.

“You’ve got this. You are the strongest of all of us.” Jean said, figuring that if he kept her talking that she would stay awake until help came.

She smiled slightly at the attempt. “He always hated how strong I was.” She mumbled, sure she was probably delirious at this point.

“That’s because he’s an idiot. I-“ but any sweet words he was going to say were cut off.

“He _was_ an idiot.” She corrected, eyes filling with tears. Jean grew quiet, even feeling sadness creep up on him too.

“Annie’s coming!” Armin shouted as he ran back into the armory. “She’s going to help Mikasa!”

Jean sighed in relief, glad it wasn’t a lost cause. Annie stepped into the room after a few minutes with a case of medical equipment.

She sat down next to Mikasa and reached for the buttons on her shirt.

“W-wait...” Mikasa slapped her hands away in panic, looking to Armin.

Armin realized the issue and cleared his throat. “Mikasa, I think your life is more important.”

Mikasa reluctantly nodded, lowering her hand to allow Annie to continue. It wasn’t a time to be stubborn.

Annie unbuttoned Mikasa’s shirt and pushed it open to reveal the bandages wrapped around her chest, the outline of her breasts visible under the wraps. Annie didn’t even acknowledge that as she went to work on putting on a pair of gloves and taking out some tweezers.

“This is going to hurt like a bitch.” She said, before she moved to extract the bullet from the hole in Mikasa’s abdomen.

Mikasa tried to hold as still as possible, biting on her lip so hard it bled as she tried not to scream from the pain.

Jean was having his own dilemma, overwhelmed with a lot of things at once. He wasn’t trying to check Mikasa out, although he had never seen Mikasa’s chest before and his eyes just automatically looked down to watch Annie work at extracting the bullet and he just couldn’t help noticing some things that he didn’t expect to be there.

Mikasa is a girl, his brain registered slowly. He looked away as soon as he realized exactly what he was staring at. He blushed, hoping no one had caught him looking. Mikasa’s squirming in pain distracted him from his mental anguish and he grabbed her hand in support. She squeezed in return, much too hard and he was the one that had to try not to scream. That wasn’t his smartest idea.

“Got it.” Annie pulled the bullet out and dropped it on a tray. She then grabbed a needle and some stitching thread. “Almost done.”

After a few stitches were put in place, Annie wrapped some bandages around Mikasa’s waist.

“Refrain from putting too much stress on the stitches and get checked out after all this is over.” Annie instructed, packing all of the supplies away and tossing aside the bloodied gloves into a bag for disposal.

“Thank you.” Mikasa whispered, finally letting go of Jean’s hand.

Jean may have cried a little in relief, wiggling his fingers to make sure they weren’t broken.

Mikasa hurriedly buttoned her shirt again, glad to be able to cover up, even though the damage was done, both Annie and Jean knew she was a girl.

“About what you saw...” Mikasa started, but Annie stood up to leave.

“I already knew. I won’t say anything...but they will find out.”

Jean couldn’t help flushing red at Mikasa’s words.

“I didn’t see anything.” He lied, refusing to meet her eyes.

“I’m pretty sure you did.” Armin teased, actually glad the tension had been broken to a certain degree. They weren’t out of the fire yet but at least Mikasa had a fighting chance at making it back to safety.

“Whatever, let’s check and see if that freak is still outside killing those Marley bastards.” Jean grumbled, quick to find an excuse to leave.

Annie overheard Jean’s statement and took that as he cue to slip away as well. She still had a job to do.

————

The damage that had been done to the enemy was enough for them to order a retreat to any of the remaining survivors. The flames had caught up with them and fire beginning to travel up the side of headquarters.

“We’ve got to get out of here!” Connie yelled, alerting his comrades to the danger. Reiner and Bertolt came running up to their group, joining them in the street in front of the HQ building.

“Reiner! Bertolt!” Armin exclaimed, glad to see more of their friends had survived.

“What is that thing?” Reiner asked, looking over to see the mutant man, who had saved them, had collapsed on the ground, seemingly exhausted from the exertion. The flames had caught up to him and had begun to lick at his skin.

“No! We need to help him!” Mikasa yelled, moving to run towards the flame without regard for her condition.

Before she could reach him, a shadow passed overhead, blocking out the light from the moon.

They all looked up to see a woman, face half covered by a white mask, wings spread out behind her.

Angel of death, Armin wondered, since her judgement sword was aimed at their new ally.

The angel dove down towards the man being burned alive, her sword coming down and impaling him.

Mikasa collapsed to her knees, tears falling from her eyes.

The angel used the sword to drag the body out of the reach of the flames. She withdrew the sword and her wings flapped hard, pushing her back up into the sky to make her escape.

They all watched the smoke roll off the body, before it started to disintegrate, leaving behind the small form that was much more familiar to them.

Armin could hardly believe his eyes, Eren laid there on the street, his leg grown back and his bullet wounds no more. He seemed to be sleeping peacefully.

Mikasa scrambled over to his side, picking him up from the ground and holding her face against his chest to listen for the sound she most wanted to hear. The heartbeat was strong and steady and she started crying all the tears she’d held inside. She didn’t know how but he wasalive and she didn’t want to let go.

————


	7. Chapter 7

Mikasa awoke in the sterile soundings of a hospital, her uniform had been removed in favor of a hospital gown, making her feel more vulnerable. There was no denying it, her future as a soldier was ruined.

She felt a headache starting to form and she felt more sluggish. She hated being injured.

Eren, where was he? Had it been a dream? Was he ok?

She still felt the gun shot wound so she knew that had really happened but everything else seemed so surreal.

The door to the room opened in came Doctor Hange Zoe, a bright smile on her face.

“Mikasa, you’re awake!” She approached the bed and moved the covers aside. “I’m going to check on your wound for infection, but your vitals have been excellent so you should be able to be released soon.”

Mikasa nodded, letting the doctor take a look at the wound.

“I’m afraid to say that you won’t be able to rest right away, they need you in court as a witness.” Mikasa was expecting the court hearing, since it was a crime to hide her identity to be a soldier, but Hange said she was being called to be a witness?

“A witness for what?” She asked.

“Your friend, Eren Yeager, caused quite a stir. His transformation into that magnificent being is being called into question. They’re trying to figure out what to do with him.” Hange explained, while replacing the bandages over Mikasa’s wound. “I’m hoping to get a hold of him myself. His DNA would be a scientific marvel!” Her eyes flashed with excitement at the idea of running some experiments.

Mikasa frowned, becoming wary of what the options were for Eren. People generally didn’t respond well to things they didn’t understand. “Can I see him?”

Hange broke out of her daydream to look back at the girl before her. “I’m sorry, he isn’t allowed visitors. He’s being contained in a cell for now until they find out what his motives are.”

Mikasa closed her eyes, feeling uneasy. This wasn’t going well and she might lose him again just as she had gotten him back.

————

Eren opened his eyes, feeling groggy and disoriented as his surroundings came into view. He was in a cell, bars in front of him and chains locked around his wrists.

He frowned, giving the chains a tug, wondering why he was locked up. Did the Marley soldiers take him prisoner?

No, that couldn’t be it. He remembered losing his leg and jumping in front of Armin to shield him from the bullets but he looked down to see that there weren’t any injuries. Had it been another dream?

“Oh good, you’re awake.” Came a voice from outside the bars. Eren sat up straight, eyes locking onto the the men outside of his cell. Erwin Smith, commander of the Survey Corps, was seated in a chair and beside him stood Captain Levi.

“What’s going on?” He asked, confused why two important figures from the Corps would personally visit him.

“During the attack, witnesses saw you emerge from a creature that massacred countless Marleyans. You are locked up here under the authority of the Military Police Brigade.” Erwin explained, leaning forward towards the bars. “Were you aware of your abilities, Eren?”

Eren frowned in confusion, really not sure what they were talking about. His memories were foggy at best, he did remember fighting to some degree, but nothing clear enough to put the pieces together.

“No, I have no idea what happened.” He replied, frustrated with his lack of understanding. Had his friends made it out alive?

“Where are the other trainees?” He asked, starting to panic.

“Those that survived are either in medical care or helping to collect and identify bodies.” Erwin answered, the answer not at all comforting to Eren. Erwin continued to speak, since there were more pressing matters to catch up on. “We’re taking an interest in your existence because you would be an incredible asset to our cause and we believe that you hold answers to some questions that I have.”

How could he have answers to anything, Eren wondered. He didn’t even remember anything himself.

“What happened to your father?”

Eren looked up sharply at that question, body tense.

“If you lie, I won’t hesitate to take your head off.” Levi threatened, casually leaning against the wall, yet somehow managing to look absolutely menacing. His small stature didn’t make him seem like much of a threat but if the stories were true, Levi was one of the most deadly men in Paradis.

“He’s missing.” He replied, though the memory of his dream still lingered in his mind, the nagging feeling that he did know what happened to him.

“How convenient, your father’s missing and you have amnesia.” Levi scoffed, clearly unconvinced.

“Levi... we don’t have any reason to believe that Eren is lying. There’s a lot of questions left to ask but what’s most important is to determine Eren’s intentions.” They both watched Eren, waiting for his answer.

They wanted to know his motivation for fighting.

“I want to join the Survey Corps and eliminate all of Marley!” Eren yelled in response, eyes flashing with a crazy ferocity.

“Hm, not bad.” Levi remarked, lifting an eyebrow. He approached the bars, grabbing on to the cage and peering in as if he were inspecting a wild animal. “I’ll take responsibility for him. I don’t trust him but I won’t hesitate to eliminate the threat if he goes rogue. The higher ups know my skill level so they shouldn’t have a problem with that.”

Erwin nodded, confident that Levi could handle the job. “We’ll have to negotiate to get him, but if the plan works...welcome to the Survey Corps, Eren Yeager.”

————

The collection of the dead was possibly worse than the fight itself and the trainees helped to collect all the bodies they could find, some too charred or badly damaged to identify.

Jean walked down a row of the retrieved bodies, pausing at one. Half of his face was missing but the half that remained was definitely Marco. He knew hadn’t seen him since the battle and even then they had been separated early on. How did he even die? Had anyone been there to see it?

A nurse stopped behind him with a clipboard, recording the names of the deceased. “Do you know his name?”

Jean didn’t reply, still in shock.

“Two days have passed since the battle, we need to get these bodies cleaned up before disease and decay get out of hand.” The nurse said, growing impatient. “Do you know his name or not?”

Jean nodded, complying with the request. “Marco Bodt, 104th training corps, leader of the 19th squad.”

The nurse thanked him for his cooperation and urged him to keep moving on.

Reluctantly, Jean continued down the line, feeling morose. Marco was a good friend, someone who saw the potential in Jean that no one else saw. He remembered his speech to him, how he would make a good leader because he was weak. He thought Marco was joking a first, although Marco made him realize you didn’t have to be the strongest or the bravest to inspire others.

He realized that he could no longer carry on with his plan of living a cushy life away from the real fight. He didn’t have to be a suicidal idiot but he felt a responsibility to live up to the version of himself that Marco had seen.

Annie wandered among the bodies as well, pulling the handkerchief down from her face to face the dead. It was their fault these people were gone.

“I’m sorry...” she apologized to deaf ears.

“There’s no point in apologizing. Let’s hurry up and get the funeral over with.” Reiner grunted as he helped carry a body towards the bonfire they were going to light to burn the dead to ashes.

————

The day of the trial came up soon enough and Eren was temporarily released from his cell to be dragged into the middle of a courtroom and tied to a pole to limit his mobility. He was crouched in a kneeling position, which just added insult to injury. They weren’t tying him up like a human.

He looked around the courtroom, spotting all the commanders of the different departments of the military as well as a few high ranking officers. Erwin and Levi were there as they said they would be but he wasn’t expecting Mikasa and Armin to bepresent as well.

He met their gaze across the room, glad to see they were both alive and safe. Neither looked all that optimistic about the trial, watching Eren with worry.

Commander-in-chief Zackly took his seat in the judges chair, signaling the start of the trial.

“You’re Eren Yeager, correct? And you’re a soldier so you dedicated your life to serve the people of Eldia?”

“Yes, sir!”

Zackly nodded in acknowledgement at the answer and reviewed the paperwork in front of him. “Since the circumstances of this trial are unique and do not apply to common law, I have been given authority to make the decision regarding this issue by military tribunal.” He explained before lower the documents and pinning Eren with a weighty stare. “I even have authority over your life so I will only ask you this once...do you have any objections?”

“No, sir!” Eren accepted his fate, though he doubted much could be done even if he did object. They were all looking at him like he was a monster.

“I’m glad you understand the circumstances. There are conflicting opinions about whether you are an enemy or an asset to Paradis. We are going to decide which branch of the military will be responsible for you based on their proposals. We’ll hear from the Military Police first.” Zackly stated, giving the floor to the Chief of Police, Nile Dock.

“We believe that a thorough dissection of Eren’s body should be conducted before being discarded.” Nile announced his plan, looking over at the prisoner in disgust.

Mikasa’s hands tightened into a fist at the suggestion and Armin reached down to grab her hand, just as a reminder to keep her cool no matter what was said.

“We believe his existence would cause chaos within our cities and that kind of inhuman power doesn’t belong in this world. Therefore, we will only extract what we need from research before we will kill him.” Nile finished his speech, stepping back in line with the others.

It was Erwin’s turn next and Eren already had some idea what he would suggest.

“The Survey Corps would also like to study Eren, but in the interest of using him as an asset for Paradis. We believe that information gained from this research could lead to scientific findings that would give Eldians a military advantage over our enemies. He would be a full-fledged member of the Survey Corps.” Erwin paused, glancing over at Mikasa and Armin. “We also would like to request Miss Mikasa Ackerman to join the Survey Corps as well.”

Mikasa jumped in surprise, not expecting to hear her name mentioned as part of the Survey Corps plan. What would they want with her?

Zackly looked confused by the request, looking over the top of his glasses. “Miss? And what does she have to do with Eren Yeager?”

“She is also an incredible asset to our military. That is all.” Erwin replied, simply.

“I see.” Zackly seemed to consider the subject before moving on. “Alright, next question is for Eren. It seems you wish to serve your duty as a soldier under the Survey Corps. Do you think you can harness your mutant powers to benefit their efforts?”

“Yes, I can, sir!” Eren answered, though he was still unsure that he even knew what his powers were but he knew his motivation and that would drive him to act accordingly. It had at least seemed to have gone that way during the last battle.

Zackly nodded, glancing down at his paperwork again. “It says in this witness statement that you protected Mikasa Ackerman and the other trainees accompanying her. Mikasa Ackerman, are you present?”

Mikasa stood up straighter, eyes wide. “Yes, sir, that’s me.” She answered nervously. She wasn’t wearing her military uniform since her cover had been destroyed and she felt so out of place in a skirt and blouse. Would she get in trouble for impersonating a soldier?

“You joined the training corps with falsified papers, did you not? Are you an enemy of Eldia?”

The question took a turn she did not expect. “No, sir! I’m just a girl who didn’t want her family to leave her behind.” She explained, ducking her head in shame. It wasn’t a very noble cause. What would their comrades think if they heard that?

“So you’re saying Eren is your brother?”

Nile spoke up again, answering the question from Zackly for Mikasa. “Not by blood relation. I came across a report from six years ago that Eren and Mikasa attacked and killed three adult men at the age of only nine. After that, the Yeager family took Mikasa in under their roof. Though the actions were done out of self defense, it makes you question what those two are capable of.”

Someone pointed at Mikasa and yelled. “Who knows if she is human either! She should be dissected too!”

“No!” Eren snapped, anger boiling inside of him at the idea of involving Mikasa in any of this. He pulled against his restraints, showing more passion for fighting for Mikasa’s life than his own. How did she become so wrapped up in all of this? It was all his fault they were questioning her to begin with. “I may be a monster but Mikasa has nothing to do with it!”

Eren kept going, growing more and more frustrated. “Why are you treating me like the enemy when the enemy is across the ocean? They came in and destroyed our land and killed my comrades and all you can do is fight over who gets to dissect me! I’m not afraid to fight those bastards so just shut your mouths and invest everything in me!”

Smack!

The sound of Levi’s boot coming into contact with Eren’s head sounding loud throughout the courtroom. The force of the kick whipped his head to the side and Eren coughed, a tooth falling out of his mouth.

The beating continued, blow after blow landing on Eren until Levi pinned Eren’s head under his boot. Mikasa jerked forward, ready to attack Levi, but Armin grabbed her arm with all his strength. “No, wait!” He warned, knowing that it was not the time to make things any worse.

“This is just my opinion but I’ve always found pain to be an effective punishment.” Levi declared, pushing down harder on Eren’s head. “Those lessons can only be learned with action.”

There was an uncomfortable silence, Mikasa mentally going over the ways she would kill Levi and the rest of the room was growing nervous about the growing danger of abusing a monster.

“Levi, wait! What if he turns into his other form?” Nile looked panicked, but he wasn’t the only one. Others had also reached for their firearms.

“I thought you were the ones that wanted to dissect him. What if he transformed then?”Levi paused, looking among the faces around the parameter of the room. It seemed the strategy was working, they were intimidated enough to back off.

“Since we don’t know what Eren is capable of, I would put him under Levi’s supervision in case anything goes wrong. He’s a more than capable of handling the situation if the need would arise.” Erwin added, showing that the whole display was orchestrated to show that Levi could handle babysitting Eren and wouldn’t back down from the danger.

“Levi, would you be able to kill Eren if the need arose?”

Levi looked towards Zackly. “It’s no problem.”

Mikasa gaze darkened even more. She knew she couldn’t attack him at that moment but she had plans for that half-pint bastard. Levi didn’t seem the slightest bit phased by her murder stare.

“Fine,” Zackly spoke up, coming to a decision. “I am placing Eren Yeager under the supervision of the Survey Corps.”

————

Mikasa hadn’t seen Eren in weeks, which caused her to become restless. She had been accepted into the Survey Corps along with the other cadets that had chosen that branch. The addition of Mikasa to the team also meant the invitation extended to other women as well. Sasha was also accepted, her skills with marksmanship making her a valuable member. Krista and Ymir were also added to the team, giving up their medical careers to help fight.

Mikasa was grateful to no longer be the only girl around. As much as she liked the company of the guys, there had been a weird adjustment period where the guys had a hard time getting used to the fact that she was a girl.

She shared a room with the other girls and they all participated in training but there wasn’t a whole lot else to do. Eren was off at some undisclosed location with an elite squad under Levi’ssupervision. She frowned, hoping that pipsqueak wasn’t hurting Eren or he would be in a world of trouble.

Finally, she got her chance to reunite with Eren whenthe trainees were assigned to be part of an tactical formation practice that they had to memorize.

They gathered by the stables, getting their gear together, before hearing a familiar voice.

“Hey!” They looked to see Eren approaching them and Mikasa felt a flood of relief seeing him ok. She moved forward, inspecting him for injury.

“Are you ok? Did they hurt you?”

“I’m fine, Mikasa. I’ve mostly just been ordered to clean and Hange took some samples from me.” Eren reassured her, her concern a welcome familiarity.

“Eren, it’s so good to see you.” Armin smiled, glad to see that he was doing well too. The trial had been a scary experience but it looked like Eren ended up in the best case scenario.

Eren looked around the group, surprised by how many of his comrades had taken the opportunity to join the Survey Corps.

“So Jean and Marco joined the Military Police?”

“Marco’s dead.” Jean’s voice sounded as he walked over to the group.

“Jean? You actually joined the Corps?” Eren was shocked, especially with how often Jean talked about being an MP. It almost distracted him enough that he didn’t register what Jean had said. “Wait... Marco’s dead?”

“Yeah, shot through the head. I was only able to identify him from the half of his face that was left.” Jean’s face was somber, clearly still mourning the loss of his friend. Eren’s eyes widened, taking a moment for it to sink in. There had been so many things that happened on that day that he felt like he was still trying to catch up.

“We’re not all as lucky as you to be able to come back from the dead. Mikasa nearly died because she thought you were gone.”

Eren turned his head towards her, observing how Mikasa ducked away from his stare.

“What do you mean?”

“She took a bullet. Annie had to stitch her up at HQ.”

There was a flash of a memory, red staining a crisp, white shirt and Mikasa’s face twisted in pain. Eren’s eyes darted down to the spot where the wound would’ve been, feeling guilt build inside of him.  
  


“You can hardly blame Eren for that.” Mikasa protested, subconsciously reaching to cover the area where he scar was with her jacket. “I made a careless mistake, that’s all.”

Jean scowled at Mikasa’s defense of Eren. She would stand up for him no matter what stupid things he did. “Regardless, you can’t be so careless in the future. We’re all going to putting our lives on the line for you so don’t let us down.”

Eren nodded solemnly, feeling the gravity of the situation. “I’ll try my best not to let you guys down.”

————

Their next assignment had been outlined, the way they were going to get Eren to use the full potential of his powers. Reiner and Bertolt were already in place, heading out with the trainees in the Corps for the practice formation, leaving Annie with the dirty work again. She knew she was Zeke’s favorite and Ymir had her own assignment to carry out, so she couldn’t risk exposing her identity yet, but Annie really didn’t want to carry out the objective.

She twisted the ring on her finger, the sharp edge that was hidden inside of it dug into her skin and drew blood. Her body started the transition, wings sprouting from her back. She picking up the mask from the table next to her, placing it over her face.

_Objective: Hurt Mikasa Ackerman._

_By any means necessary._

———

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: this was the hardest chapter to write so far, I was really hitting a wall on this one. So sorry for this boring chapter. 🙃


	8. Chapter 8

Things were going smoothly at first, everyone following orders and keeping formation. It wasn’t supposed to be a difficult assignment. There weren’t supposed to be any casualties.

The first sign something was a amiss was when the right flank didn’t set off flares at the anticipated time. Armin started to notice something was up but there was little that could be done by the time he saw her.

The wings cast a shadow over the ground, momentarily blocking out the sun. Armin looked up, seeing the beautiful silhouette of the angel from the night several weeks past when she saved Eren from the flames.

He wasn’t sure why she was there but it wasn’t for a peaceful purpose this time. She swooped down, tearing the veteran soldiers off their horses and dropping them to their deaths, their bodies crumpling as they hit the ground.

Armin crouched down closer to his horse, urging the animal forward at full speed. His heart beat fast in his chest. He screamed out loud when he was plucked off his horse and lifted into the air. He turned towards the angel, ready to plead for his life, when he was struck by the close up view of his captor. Those icy blue eyes were so familiar, making his throat dry. He forgot for a minute that his life was in peril and stared at her in awe. She was clearly strong but still petite. Her body was clothed in a white bodysuit with boots to match in the style of the military issue boots.

She stared back at Armin, eyes flashing with recognition. He felt them near the ground and she dropped him, only a few feet off the ground. He tumbled and rolled over the grass, but experienced nothing more than a few cuts and bruises.

She had spared his life for some reason, only his.

He sat up and watched her continue to fly ahead on her mission, leaving him confused in her wake. He couldn’t shake the unsettling feeling that he knew her.

His horse came to a stop next to him, having caught up a minute later. Armin reached out to pet the nose of the horse, commending the loyal creature for his return.

“Armin!” Jean and Reiner rode over after a while, seeing their friend still sitting on the grass.

“What happened?” Jean questioned, jumping off his horse to inspect Armin for injuries.

“She’s back, the angel from the other night. She killed all the soldiers in the right flank.” Armin paused, taking a shaky breath and he looked at his shocked companions. “She spared my life for some reason.”

Reiner raised a brow, looking into the sky in the direction she flew. “Hm, really? That’s strange.”

Armin nodded in agreement, finally pushing himself up in standing position. “What do you think she’s after? She kept picking up each soldier to see their face. Do you think she’s after Eren?”

“Must be.” Reiner agreed. “We should probably try to catch up to her and distract her. Where do you think Eren might be?”

“Tch, why does trouble always follow him wherever he goes? The information I got said he was in the left back flank.” Jean said.

“Really? Mine said he was in the right front.” Armin thought about it and that didn’t make sense at all. “Why would they have our most valuable asset on the frontline? A more tactical approach would be to have him in the most protected position, the center back is where they would likely hide him.”

Jean pulled out a flare, shooting it into the air to alert the other squads of danger.

“Well then let’s slow that flying bitch down. We might buy some time before the retreat order is given.” Jean said, giving his horse a nudge to gallop after the angelic mutant.

They followed suit, pursuing her as she flew high above them.

“What happened to you, Jean? The old you would have never taken this risk.” Reiner teased as they headed towards danger.

Jean grit his teeth, memories of the bones burning, not even able to identify one from the other. He didn’t want to see that happen to anyone again. He knew it was what needed to be done and he would do it, regardless of whether he felt brave enough for the task.

“I know what needs to be done and I’m not putting myself first anymore!” Jean yelled back.

Armin nodded in respect, noting that Jean seemed to have matured through the experience of pain. “Put your hood on. If she’s looking for Eren then it will keep her from killing us until she gets a good look at our faces.”

“Good idea.” Reiner agreed, pulling on his own hood.

They managed to advance far enough in front of Annie that they were able to catch her attention. They tried to dodge as she came down like a hawk towards its prey and tried to snatch Jean from his horse. He cursed and tried to duck out of the way.

Reiner managed to unholster his gun and shoot her in the leg. She turned her attention sharply to him, and tackled him off his horse.

“Reiner!” Armin cried out, turning his head to watch his comrade struggle with the angel.

Jean turned around to go help Reiner broke free of her grasp with a knife in his hand, a gash running across her arm. She seemed to be deterred with the attack, flying out of harm’s way...and heading straight in the direction Eren was located in the formation.

“Reiner, are you ok?” Armin asked, watching as his comrade pushed himself back up and whistled to call his horse back.

“I’m fine.”

Armin nodded, turning his attention back to the task at hand. “She’s headed right where Eren is. We need to catch up with the others and warn them.”

————

Things were fairly uneventful for Levi’s squad until a messenger rode over to their location and called out the message.

“The right flank has been compromised! We’re being attacked!” The soldier yelled.

The right flank was where Armin was, Eren noted, feeling anxious. Who knew to attack them today of all days anyway?

Levi ordered the messenger to head to the next section of the formation and a series of black flares were set off nearby, alerting them that danger was approaching. 

“Eren, fire one off!” Levi commanded and Eren quickly obeyed the order, sending off a flare into the air. 

It seemed that they needed to adjust their course for more cover. They headed towards the forest, a cart path wide enough for them to proceed through was running right through the middle.

The other sections surrounding Eren’s location in the formation were redirected go around the forest, watching the parameter for oncoming danger.

“What’s happening to the formation?” Connie wondered aloud as their team was circling around the parameter of the forest.

“There is no formation.” Mikasa answered, her eyes darting to the side, sensing something. “I think we had to adjust course. There could be a threat.”

“A threat? But this was just practice.” Connie said, paling at the thought of heading into battle again.

————

Eren grew nervous as he rode though the forest and he began to detect that the rest of the team didn’t know what was going on. Something just felt entirely off about this whole thing.

“Captain Levi, if we’re being attacked, then should we really be separated from the rest of the formation?”

Levi didn’t even bother looking back at him. “There’s more places in here to take cover should an enemy make it to our location and we have teams guarding the parameter. They can alert us if anyone enters the forest.”

Another flare went up into the air behind them, signaling the worst case scenario was indeed happening.

“Draw your weapons and be ready to fight!” Levi instructed, narrowing his eyes. It was as Erwin expected, there was a mole in the Regiment. How else would they have known to find Eren in the formation?

It happened in the blink of an eye, a rush of wind and then she was upon them. Annie was fast, ducking in and out of trees as bullets splinted wood around them. Even for an elite team, she was tough to beat. Levi was the only one who had the skill to take her down and she realized that as he had dismounted and waited in a tree for her to pass. He jumped out, swords swinging through the air, ready to deliver a death blow.

Eren watched in awe at the skill, his own hand twitching to bring it up to his mouth and bite to bring out his own best weapon but perhaps it wouldn’t be necessary.

That’s when she screamed, the sound causing all of them to clutch their ears, disoriented. Even Levi himself succumbed, missing his target at the last minute and falling to the ground.

Eren tumbled off his horse, the world going black.

————

Around the edges of the forest, the sound of the scream was lessened, but still jarring. They clutched at their ears, pain splitting through their heads.

Mikasa felt sick, a migraine instantly starting to form. She saw that some of the other soldiers were on the ground throwing up or shaking.

Eren...

She checked on her horse, who didn’t seem to be harmed by whatever had just occurred. “I’m heading in.” She said, knowing she was disobeying orders but she just had a bad feeling about what had just occurred.

No one could even protest, themselves still reeling from the attack. She rode in the direction of the scream, heart pounding fast in her chest. What she found when she came across Levi’s squad made her stop short.

Their bodies were littered all over the ground, blood coming out of their ears.

What could possibly do this?

She heard a rustle of movement, Levi pushing himself of the ground. He took a look at his comrades, a resigned sort of sadness to the man, as if he had seen too much loss to properly mourn their deaths, but it still didn’t make it hurt any less.

She felt sorry for him in that moment, a silent understanding passing between the two of them.

“That bitch took Eren.” Levi said, eyes flashing suddenly with something much deadlier.

Mikasa followed suit, her gaze darkening. “Where did she go?”

————

Eren blinked open his eyes, coming to again. He was strung up in some trees with ropes wrapped around his body and a gag in his mouth. The angel was leaning against a tree, looking bored. He screamed against the gag, wriggling his body back and forth uselessly.

“You’ll just wear yourself out.” She said, dryly. “You’re just the bait anyway.”

Eren stopped suddenly, brows coming together in confusion. She wasn’t after him, then what was she after?

“You know whenever you are in trouble, she comes after you.” The angel answered.

Eren’s eyes widened, realization dawning. Mikasa, that was the goal, but why? Why go through all that trouble to lure Mikasa there?

He started fighting even harder against the restraints, making all sorts of animalistic noises.

The woman smirked slightly, the response exactly what they needed. It was apparently mutual. One couldn’t live without the other. They were drawn to each other with a magnetic force, no matter how much Eren didn’t want to admit it, his ultimate weakness was Mikasa Ackerman.

“He was right about you two.” Annie mused to herself, pulling her sword out from its sheath just in time. The sound of bullets filled the air as Mikasa rolled out from behind a tree, her aim right on target as usual. Annie wasn’t easily beat though, swinging the blade to knock the bullets of course before they could meet flesh.

“Come and face me.” Annie said, stepping forward. “Hand to hand.”

Mikasa lowered her gun, observing the other girl. Finally, she threw the weapon to the side, agreeing to the terms. Her eyes darkened with murderous intent.

Annie tossed her own weapon aside and shifted into a defensive stance.

Eren watched, noting the familiar way the angel carried herself.

The two formidable enemies sprung forward and attacked each other, throwing in well placed punches and kicks, though both having such a natural aptitude for combat that they were able to block each other’s attacks.

The technique of each was something to marvel at and Eren forgot to struggle, eyes fixed on the two battling below.

Annie resorted to her signature move, tossing Mikasa to the ground but Mikasa was a lot stronger than Annie anticipated. She literally broke Annie’s arm to break free, causing Annie to cry out in surprise. She had seriously underestimated the other girl. By a lot.

Mikasa turned things around in that moment, pinning Annie to the ground. “Let him go.” She said, digging her boot into Annie’s shoulder. Annie grit her teeth, eyes darting to the side to see a gun pointed at her from among the trees. Captain Levi was behind the gun, making it all the worse.

Annie tensed, realizing how she needed to quickly get out of the situation before she died at the hands of humanity’s strongest soldiers.

“Good fight.” Annie surrendered, dropping her unbroken arm her side. Mikasa hesitated before backing off, knowing that Levi still had his firearm trained on Annie as she stepped away.

Annie took that opportunity to fly as soon as Mikasa backed up enough to have clearance. Levi shot her wing, causing her to almost fall back down to the ground. She struggled to clear the trees, a few more shots hitting her before she was out of range.

Mikasa quickly turned her attention to Eren and grabbed her sword, cutting Eren down so she could free him from his bindings.

“Eren, are you ok?” She breathed, her hands running over his free arms to check for injury.

“Mikasa...” Eren looked shaken, his brain putting the pieces together and the result was unsettling. His attacker had been someone aware of their closeness and only one person fought like that. “It’s Annie, that winged woman is Annie.”

Mikasa froze, staring back at Eren with wide eyes. “Are you sure?”

Eren hesitated. “I’m pretty sure.”

Levi came over to the two, holstering his gun again. “If you know who it is, we’re going to need to make a move before she comes back for you again.”

Eren stayed quiet, keeping it to himself that he wasn’t the target. He would just have to protect Mikasa all the more so moving forward, even though it was clear she was pretty capable herself. At least Eren had his other form, he told himself. At least in that way he could be useful in saving her.

Levi shot a flare in the air to retreat, ending their mission.

————

Annie crash landed far enough away to have lost them, her wings disappearing into her back. She started sobbing, not out of pain, she was numb to pain, but because she had failed. Her physical wounds started healing but she was still broken, hands fisting into the earth.

She thought of her father, suddenly starting to show that he cared about her before she had left. He had trained her so hard for so many years and she thought all she had meant to him was a ticket to freedom, but he was all she had and he had given her some hope of having a family to go home to.

She had been so stupid, she had given away too much, gotten too cocky. They wouldn’t spare her father if she failed her mission.

Her shoulders shook, her crying silent for fear of being found.

————

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a lot of fun with this chapter. Thank you to everyone who left nice comments and kudos!


	9. Chapter 9

The retreat back to Survey Corps headquarters was a quiet one, Eren feeling the guilt of so many soldiers dying to protect him. He and his two best friends sat in the back of a supply wagon to rest from the stress of the events of the day.

Mikasa and Armin were quietly discussing Annie being the winged mutant and it started to line up the more they dug into the subject.

As much as Armin didn’t want it to be true, he had been in the process of coming to the same conclusion himself. Once the connection was made, it was clear who the icy blue eyes belonged to.

They had been told they would have to meet with Erwin when they returned to give a full report of the events.

“I should have transformed.” Eren said quietly. It had been discouraged so far, partly because they weren’t sure how his powers worked yet or how much he could control them. That and some of the soldiers were afraid of him. “If I had, maybe I could have stopped her before she killed so many.”

“No one knows what the outcome will be, whether you trust in yourself or your comrades. I have never known the answer myself. Whatever you choose, make sure it’s the choice you will regret the least.” Eren looked at Levi in surprise, not realizing he had overheard Eren’s regretful words. The Captain was riding along next to them, giving no visible signs that he was upset over the loss of his squad, perhaps for Eren’s sake or his own.

Mikasa reached over and grabbed Eren’s hand in comfort. She had to admit that she was beginning to warm up to the tiny Captain. He came off cold at first but under the abrasive exterior was someone who cared, just in a way that most people didn’t understand.

Not that she wouldn’t punch him in the face if he hurt Eren, but she respected him nonetheless.

Eren gratefully squeezed her hand, taking comfort in it.

————

_Annie._

The voice sounded in her head, jerking her out of her thoughts. She hated when he did that.

He took her silence as acknowledgement.

_Did you fail?_

Her failed attack flashed across her mind, giving Zeke a mental play by play of the events. She couldn’t hide anything from him, none of them could. He was a powerful telepath and luckily hadn’t used the full force of his abilities on her.

_I see. It seems we may have to call in Reiner and Bertolt to help._

Annie could hear the disappointment in his voice, flinching.

_Don’t hurt him_ , she mentally begged.

_Oh, no. You performed valiantly as a warrior. No harm will come to your father._

Annie couldn’t shake the unease, there was still something about Zeke’s words that seemed like a threat. She took a shaky breath, pushing herself up to head back to her small apartment in the city.

————

Erwin listened to their report, his hands pressed together in thought as he planned their next strategic move. He observed the three new members of the Corps in front of them.

“So you’re saying Annie Leonhart, this military nurse, is actually a traitor who can become a winged creature, with a scream that can kill?”

They nodded in response.

“Yes, sir. If it’s alright, I have a plan to try to negotiate with her. We’re hoping that we come to a peaceful resolution to reduce casualties and we can try to lure her into an area that will make it difficult for her to use her abilities.” Armin said, hoping the Commander would opt for that option first. If he could possibly help Annie, he had to try.

“Armin Arlert, right? I agree that a peaceful solution would be preferable. We have suffered enough losses already. That being said, we should be prepared for the worst.” Erwin paused, pulling out a sketch and passing it over to the trio in front of him. “You all have met Hange Zoe before, right? She’s a brilliant asset to the team and excellent scientist as well as doctor. She also has a talent for designing weapons.” He pointed to the new weapon on the page. “This was a prototype I had her draft up when we heard there was a flying enemy. We are at a disadvantage on the ground but this omnidirectional maneuvering gear or ODM, will allow us to use a combination of hooks and wires and gas power to move though any setting with higher structures like buildings or trees. They can be equipped with swords and guns to replace out existing equipment.”

Mikasa admired the design, truly impressed by the innovation. “We will need time to train on it and implement it into our strategy.”

Erwin nodded, smiling slightly. “Precisely, and Levi is down a team so I have recommended that he recruit a group of trainees to be the new squad Levi and to train exclusively on these new weapons. You will, of course, need to go into hiding to reduce the possibility of another attack before we are prepared.” He lowered his voice, leaning closer. “Beyond the squad that isstationed with you, no one is allowed to know your location.”

“You think there’s a mole in the SC?” Armin questioned, putting two and two together.

“Possibly, but we don’t know if it extends beyond Annie Leonhart or if there are more. Be on guard around everyone.” Erwin warned them.

They nodded again in response.

“Alright, you are dismissed.”

————

The new location of their hideout was a cabin in the woods. The team was small, consisting only of six trainees and Levi.

Besides the Shiganshina trio, there was also Jean, Connie and Sasha. Mikasa was glad she only had one roommate and though Sasha was a unique, food-crazed girl, Mikasa actually liked her company. She had a way of lightening the mood and making Mikasa feel better.

Jean and Connie were of course completely trusted, neither able to hide what they were thinking or feeling ever. The number of actual fights Jean and Eren got involved in reduced. They really only mocked each other and threw the odd insult here and there. It was a lot more intimidating to anger Levi by their arguing than Shadis.

A delivery of ODM gear was dropped off along with Hange a few weeks in, which gave them all the opportunity to have their lives flipped upside down by both the new gear and the eccentric genius.

Mikasa took to the knew equipment so naturally that it seemed like the gear was an extension of herself and Levi was just the same, not to anyone’s surprise.

What was surprising was Sasha’s natural aptitude for it. She was actually overall very impressive for someone with very limited formal training.

Eren and Armin were the least adept at the new gear, but Armin said that at least Eren had his other skills to fall back on.

They also took advantage of the time for Hange to run some experiments, having Eren change into his alternate form to perform various tasks and listen to orders. The experiments were hit and miss, Eren’s performance declining the more he transformed in one day.

On one of his break days, Eren and the others were assigned to deep clean the cabin. Knowing how particular Levi was, Eren tied a handkerchief around his head, and moved around to remind everyone to be diligent in their respective assignments. He knew well that a job half-assed would be unacceptable. Levi found every spec of dust.

He knocked on the door to the girls’ room, knowing that Sasha was already downstairs, so it was only Mikasa still in the room.

“Come in.” Came the soft response.

Eren pushed the door open to see Mikasa in just a sports bra and shorts, doing crunches, sweat gathering on her brows.

Eren was instantly reminded of that day in the woods, a memory he buried deep in his mind (despite perhaps a few awkward dreams he wouldn’t admit to), and it all resurfaced.

She was a specimen of a human, muscular but lean, the strength not taking away from her beauty in the least. In fact, Eren was pretty impressed by it. It was just the pure amount of skin that short circuited his brain.

Mikasa sat up, lifting the towel around her neck to wipe off the sweat.”Morning. I’m just finishing up.”

Eren nodded, shifting his gaze away before he could watch more beads of sweat roll down the valley between Mikasa’s breasts. He was such a horrible friend for staring.

“Did you need something?” She asked, realizing he was still frozen in the doorway.

“I realize we aren’t trying to hide... that anymore,” he gestured vaguely in her direction. “But at least put some clothes on. What if one of the guys saw you?”

Mikasa smiled slightly, amused at Eren’s red face and embarrassment.

“You did come into the girls room,” she pointed out, moving to grab her shirt for his sake. She felt a little daring, not really sure what had gotten in to her. “You’ve seen me in less.”

Eren’s throat went dry. When had Mikasa gotten so bold? He looked at her again, glad she covered up more. “Mikasa...”

She laughed at his face, taking pity on him. “I’m sorry, I know you are shy about this stuff.”

Eren felt even more embarrassed to have her point it out. “I’m just looking out for you. You know Jean has a crush on you.”

Mikasa regarded him with an unreadable expression, the humor leaving the situation. So Eren wanted to act like seeing Mikasa like that had no impact other than worrying over her modesty? She was a bit disappointed with his response.

“Jean already saw me without a shirt.” She stated, watching him carefully for his reaction.

Eren’s jaw dropped, eyes going wide. “What?” His voice raised in a combination of shock and something else. Was it anger?

“When I got shot, he was there while Annie patched me up. I had on my chest wraps of course.” She explained, satisfied that at least Eren seemed to be upset. Could she dare to believe it was jealousy?

Eren’s gaze darkened slightly, still frozen in the doorway. His hands were tightened into fists.

“Do you like him?” He finally asked. Mikasa had to wonder if it was because Eren felt aresponsibility to protect her purity, like a brother, or if it was something else.

Mikasa was quiet for a moment, measuring how far she could push him. “Why does it matter?”

Eren tensed, suddenly turning cold on her. “Fine, I hope you are happy together.”

Mikasa moved forward before she could further the misunderstanding, grabbing Eren’s arm. “He’s just a friend.”

The tension faded from Eren’s shoulders. He looked back at her, eyes searching for an answer. She met his gaze, unsure what he was hoping to find.

“Good.” Eren finally said, pulling away from her hold. “We don’t have time for things as trivial as dating.”

Mikasa sighed, softly. “So you’ve said.”

That day during their chores, Mikasa noted that Eren started arguments with Jean more than usual.

————

The day had come, Armin didn’t doubt that Annie would see through their plan. They were going to ask for Annie’s help to hide Eren, saying they were afraid there was a traitor hiding in the Corps and they needed to find proof while Eren stayed with her.

Armin was almost certain Annie would figure them out. It made him all the more nervous.

“Armin?” Annie saw the blond boy outside her building, surprised to see him there. He had rung the bell and no one ever visited her. He was wearing a hooded raincoat, which was very odd.

Armin moved closer, lowering his voice.“Annie, you need to help us. There’s a mole in the Survey Corps and Eren isn’t safe there.”

Annie watched him move closer with a guarded expression. She had seen Armin come to her for help before and his face was telling a different story this time.

“What’s with the raincoat?”

Armin looked down and shrugged. “We needed to hide from local authorities so we dressed as porters. Mikasa and Eren are hiding until I tell them it’s safe. The Military Police have been alerted that Eren is missing so this place will be crawling with MP soon.”

Annie didn’t buy it at all. Why would they come into a city area that had officers everywhere? It would be safer hiding out in the woods. No, the way Armin looked at her, or even avoided meeting her eyes, showed her that he knew. He was perceptive and she expected nothing less.

It didn’t make the sting any less when she realized he was turning on her.

“That means I could get in trouble for hiding him here. Do you want to get me arrested?” The question was obvious, they were both playing along with the game, knowing what Annie was actually saying.

Armin felt guilt weigh heavily on his heart. His palms sweat with anxiety. “Please. Eren is my best friend and I thought you would help me since you helped me with Mikasa before. It’s just temporary, we don’t plan on hiding forever.”

Annie went quiet for a moment before she turned, her hand reaching to the door handle.

“I’m sorry, Armin, but it’s too risky.”

“Annie, wait!” Armin knew he was panicking and overreacting, he was just desperate for Annie to go along with their plan and prove them wrong, that she wasn’t a murderous monster, but just a nurse who helped them.

“Do I really look like such a good person to you?” The question hung in the air, Annie glancing over her shoulder at Armin. He calmed down a bit, but the sadness that lingered in his gaze held a stronger answer.

“A good person?” Armin repeated. “I don’t really like that phrase. I don’t think everyone can act in a way that benefits everyone. Even if you are useful to one person, you might be a bad person to someone else. If you don’t help us...you would be a bad person to me.”

Annie faced him fully again, eyes downcast. That speech showed how he really felt, that he understood that Annie had her own reasons for committing her crimes, but her sins were such that she had done things to hurt his friends and comrades. The only way to redeem herself wasto follow Armin’s plan. She slipped the ring on her finger, not willing to go down without a fight though.

“Fine, come on up.” She conceded, opening the door and heading up the stairs.

Armin turned and signaled Mikasa and Eren to come forward and they did, heading up the stairs to Annie’s apartment. She let them inside, staying away from the windows, knowing that they likely had snipers trained on her as soon as she was in eyesight.

Armin glanced around, observing the very minimal and simple room. There was nothing personal about it, like she hadn’t planned on living there long.

It was obvious by their faces that they were all aware of Annie’s true form. Eren kept looking at her with wide, nervous eyes and Mikasa was barely concealing her signature death glare under a neutral mask. Armin was a complete open book, showing how nervous and even fearful he was now that they were in her domain.

“You know it really hurts,” Annie said, closing the door and locking it behind them. “When did you start looking at me like that, Armin?”

The three tensed at her words and the sound of the clicking lock. She knew what was going on and they were trapped in the room with her.

Mikasa reflexively reached to check on her weapons, ready to strike if Annie gave any sign of hostility.

Armin frowned, deciding to come clean with his suspicions. “The blood sample you took from Eren back in the trainee camp was switched out. Hange noticed when she was taking more samples from Eren that the DNA didn’t match with the replacement. Also, any sane nurse would have evacuated to a safer area to take care of the wounded during the attack on Trost but you stayed at the epicenter of the fighting.” He paused, the next piece of information a wild stab in the dark, but he had a gut feeling about it. “They found Marco’s body on top of HQ with a gunshot wound.”

Mikasa and Eren turned sharply towards Armin, shocked at the implication. When had he gotten a hold of that information?

“Krista looked into it for me,” Armin explained briefly, but the look on Annie’s face confirmed that there was something to that.

Annie looked to the side, unwilling to see them viewing her as a monster.

“Those are all circumstantial and not hard evidence but when you spared me and I got a better look at your face...” Armin trailed off, just wishing that she would deny it, that she would give some reasonable explanation why Armin was mistaken.

“I wonder why I spared you then.” Annie quietly mused to herself.

Armin’s heart sank, the confirmation squashing any residual hope left.

“Come on, Annie, this isn’t funny!” Eren yelled, still trying to deny the truth despite the fact that the fact that everyone else gave up on Annie’s innocence. “Just tell us this was all a cruel joke and we’ll let it go.”

Mikasa gave Eren a look that said “speak for yourself” but she had to admit that she didn’t take pleasure in seeing things play out this way.

“Let’s talk things out.” Armin pleaded, hoping that maybe they could negotiate a less harsh punishment for Annie if she cooperated.

“Enough of this!” Mikasa flung off her raincoat and revealed the ODM gear she had hidden underneath.

Annie observed contraption that had been revealed to her. They had created a whole new weapon system just to defeat her.

“We have unfinished business and I won’t back down this time.” Mikasa clicked a set of blades into the handles of the ODM gear, ready to jump into action.

Annie smirked, reaching for her ring. Mikasa was the only one with the guts to accept that Annie was the enemy.

“That we do.” She agreed, cutting her finger and transforming, her wings unfurling to fill the small space. She dashed to the side and broke through the glass of the window to allow herself more room to fly. The sniper bullets came too late to do any real damage. The trio ducked to avoid the barrage of gun fire, waiting until the attack ceased before making their next move.

Mikasa jumped out the window as well, flipping through the air as the gas propelled her forward.

“I guess there’s no avoiding it now.” Armin sighed, taking off his own raincoat. Eren followed suit and they leapt out the window together.

Eren lifted his thumb to his mouth and bit down, unwilling to let anymore comrades die this time by hesitating.

————


	10. Chapter 10

Eren landed on the roof of a nearby building, roof cracking as his other form took over. He roared, springing into action. He lunged at the winged figure of Annie but she dodged in time, sending him flying into a building.

More soldiers came out of hiding, shooting through the air on ODM gear towards Annie. She parted her lips, readying another crippling scream when Mikasa spun through the air and slashed Annie’s throat, causing the attack to die before it was even fully formed.

Annie’s eyes narrowed, focusing all of her attention on Mikasa. The other soldiers were mere child’s play compared with the other girl. Mikasa was terrifying, not just because she was strong, but because she dropped all concern for her own life in favor of eliminating the threat.

Mikasa was a killing machine, possibly even more than Annie was, but only if the threat came against Eren.

Keeping that in mind, Annie switched her attack to Eren, coming at him with everything she had, the hand to hand combat echoing that of when they were fighting on the trainee field. She threw Eren around, kicking off one of his legs straight from under him and sending a kicking flying into his head, badly damaging him.

Eren fell back, his ability to fight greatly reduced as he body took time to regenerate limbs. Taking her cue to runaway, Annie leapt onto the nearest building and started to crawl up the side. Mikasa landed in front of her, gaze hollow and deadly.

“Annie, fall.” She said, slicing right through Annie’s fingers and just as she did so, Levi swept in from behind and slashed though the angel’s wings.

Down she hurled towards the earth, unable to escape the inevitable impact.

Memories came back to her as she fell, that of her father grabbing her shoulders and begging for her forgiveness, begging her to return home after all of it was over. A tear fell from her eye and her body crumpled against the ground, everything going black.

“Annie!” Armin cried out, his heart pounding as he leapt down to the ground, running towards her prone form, dropping beside her. He reached out, taking her wrist and feeling for a pulse, it was there but it was faint. “Stay with me, stay with me...” he cried, hot tears rolling down his cheeks. What had he done?

Mikasalowered herself to the ground, her cold exterior fading when she saw how Armin reacted to Annie’s demise. She immediately felt guilt, realizing she had gotten carried away. Perhaps there had been a gentler way to capture her but they had won regardless. It felt like victory was bittersweet.

Eren returned to his normal form, falling to his knees in exhaustion and staring ahead at his friends and Annie, confused. People ran past him, medical staff coming to collect her. She needed emergency attention.

A cape hood was draped over his head after a while, he wasn’t sure how long. He looked up at Mikasa as she held out her hand towards him.

“Let’s go home and rest.” Her words sounded so warm and welcome so he accepted her hand and followed.

“What happened to Annie?” He asked, trying to turn his head to look around. Mikasa grabbed his face and kept his gaze away from the scene.

His eyes widened when Mikasa answered him with silence.

————

Armin sat nervously in the hallway of the hospital, wringing his hands and glancing at the clock every two seconds. It had been hours of waiting and Hange had graciously let him stay there and wait for results.

Finally the door opened and Hange stepped out, taking off her glasses to rub her temples. This was the part she hated most.

“She’s healed all of her physical wounds.” Hange began, watching Armin’s demeanor brighten. She felt terrible for the news she had to tell him next. “She’s in a coma, Armin. We monitored her brain activity and...there’s very little. She can still breathe on her ownand her body is continuing to function but she isn’t responding to anything else.”

A lump formed in Armin’s throat as he listened, tears stinging his eyes. He gripped his knees, shoulders shaking. It was all his fault, he could have said more, done more to stop it.

A hand fell onto his shoulder. He looked up at the doctor, swallowing down the knot in his throat.

“What are they going to do with her?”

“It will be up to Erwin and whether he believes it’s worth continuing care for her in her current state.” Hange admitted, since they very well couldn’t get any information from her if she was unresponsive.

“No!” Armin bolted upright from his chair, feeling a desperate need to intervene. “I know it doesn’t make sense and the military budget should be used elsewhere, I will even offer my own pay instead, but please keep her going!” It was probably selfish to ask for her life to be prolonged and it made no sense from a logical standpoint, but something in his gut told him he couldn’t let go just yet. Maybe it was the overwhelming guilt, he wasn’t sure.

Hange blinked in surprise at his sudden, passionate outburst before her eyes softened in understanding.

“I will put your request in but I cannot guarantee it will be granted.”

Armin’s shoulders slumped, knowing that was all he could do. His next request came more hesitantly, knowing he had no right to ask to see her.

“Can I-“

Hange nodded to the room behind her. “You have ten minutes.”

Armin nodded gratefully and walked over to the door, pushing inside. The beeps of various machines greeted him, showing the steady heart rate on the screen. Annie laid in the bed, hair loose around her face and skin paler than usual. He approached her, his steps feeling like they were weighed down with the burden of his guilt.

Annie’s face had never looked more peaceful and that was possibly the only comfort that Armin had. He reached down and took her hand in his, giving it a little squeeze.

“I’m sorry, Annie.” He closed his eyes, falling to his knees next to her bed.

————

They had escaped their assignments at the Survey Corps headquarters, heading to a secluded area on the outskirts of town.

A figure approached them from out of the shadows, blond hair and bearded, glasses flashing in the light.

Reiner and Bertolt nodded in greeting to Zeke, knowing the situation was dire if he was coming to them in person.

“Annie’s been compromised.” Zeke informed them, the vague statement causing Bertolt to tense up in concern.

“What happened?” Bertolt asked, before Reiner nudged him in the ribs in warning. Zeke hated being questioned and if Reiner was crazy, Zeke was absolutely unhinged in comparison.

Zeke’s gaze darkened, daring Bertolt to question him again.

“She not suffering, I made sure of that.” He answered vaguely, which was actually very considerate for him. Perhaps it was because Annie had held a favored position in their group.

Bertolt’s anxiety didn’t lessen with that, because for all he knew, that could mean Zeke had killed her.

Deciding to bypass the subject, lest Bertolt get himself into trouble again, Reiner spoke.

“So you need us to proceed with the plan?”

“Precisely.” Zeke smiled, pushing his glasses up his nose. “I have the location of where they are hiding Eren. Their minds are so weak against my powers that it was easy to get. We head there tonight.”

“Tonight?” Reiner’s eyes widened in surprise. Zeke was rushing things along much faster than he anticipated.

————

When Eren woke up, he was surrounded by warmth, covers tucked up under his chin and the crackling of a fireplace sounding in the background. His limbs felt like they weighed a ton and he laid there for a while before sitting up, stomach rumbling.

Mikasa was seated next to his bed, scarf in her hands as she worked with a red thread, stitching up some of the holes that had occurred during their confrontation.

Feeling his gaze on her, she lifted her head and took in his sleepy, tousled appearance. He looked really cute like that.

“Hungry.” Eren said simply, making a childish pouting face. Mikasa smiled slightly, reminded of when Eren was younger and would demand extra attention when he was sick.

“I’ll get you something.” She said, placing the scarf aside and moving to stand up. Eren watched her leave, eyes turning to the red scarf on the bench beside his bed.

He wasn’t sure why he was compelled to do it but he picked up the worn fabric and lifted it to his nose, inhaling the scent that was signature Mikasa. She always smelled sweet, like a mixture of vanilla and caramel, mixed with something more sophisticated like flowers. Maybe it was roses? Either way, he loved it. It reminded him of home, when they would snuggle up by the fireplace and listen to his mother tell them stories until they drifted off to sleep.

His heart ached for the simplicity of those times, the current circumstances weighing over him and killing the nostalgia that had been a safe haven for him.

The images flashed before his eyes again, the scattered bodies that Annie left behind, the fighting between them, the moment Annie plummeted to the ground.

He suddenly felt sick, no longer hungry.

Mikasa stepped back into the room then, carrying a tray with some stew. The smell of the hearty dish took him by surprise and he tilted his head, sniffing.

“Is that meat?”

Mikasa nodded, placing the tray down on Eren’s lap. She eyed the scarf sitting next to him but didn’t say anything about it.

“You wouldn’t believe what I had to do to keep Sasha from eating it.” She joked, dipping a spoon in and blowing on it to cool it down before she offered it to Eren. Eren watched her blankly, realizing too slow that she was treating him like a baby.

“I can feed myself, you know.” He muttered in annoyance. He parted his lips anyway, taking in the spoonful of stew. It was full of pleasant flavors, far better than the usual military issue food. Mikasa had specially prepared something nicer for him, to make him feel better.

Mikasa laughed softly, reaching over to wipe away a bit of broth on Eren’s lip.

“I know, but I like taking care of you.”

Eren felt a flush of red make its way across his face, the feeling of Mikasa’s thumb on his lips sending a shiver down his spine. He swallowed, quickly snatching the spoon from her grip.

Mikasa didn’t seem to be bothered by it, moving her hand to his forehead instead. “Are you ok? You’re burning up.”

Eren wanted to sink into the covers again but there was no where to escape when Mikasa was in “mother” mode.

He shoved more stew into his mouth to focus on something other than how her touch was effecting him in a different way than it did in the past. He was going to credit it to hormones, which tended to play crazy tricks on him all the time.

Mikasa’s hand dropped to her side, her fingers instead curling around the scarf and moving to place it back around her neck.

Eren finished the bowl in record time, pushing the tray to the side.

“You should get rest too.” He pointed out, noting by the color of the sky outside that window that it was well past nightfall.

Mikasa bit her lip, gripping her scarf tightly in her hands. There was something on her mind.

“The world is a cruel place.” She said, voice soft. “It’s what I tell myself every time I take a life.”

Eren’s gaze softened, realizing that Mikasa was battling her inner demons. She didn’t want a life full of being a military weapon. She wanted something more peaceful and Eren knew that. He had been the one to encourage her to kill, to fight. She had done so for him, over and over. How much blood was on her hands for his sake?

Feeling guilty for dragging her into this hell with him, he reached out and took her hand, tugging her forward into bed. Mikasa stiffened, surprised by the sudden action. They hadn’t shared a bed in ages, not since before the orphanage.

He dragged her closer, tucking her head against his chest. She closed her eyes, the beat of his heart calming her nerves. She relaxed instantly, curling herself further around him.

“We could get in trouble for this.” She mumbled against his chest. Eren made a small noise of acknowledgment, the warmth of her body incredibly distracting from whatever she was saying.

They were alone in the room but anyone could walk in at any moment and misunderstand.

Eren only bothered to break their embrace to move the blankets around, bringing them over Mikasa as well. The invitation was there for her to stay the night.

Mikasa was very aware how dangerous that was, especially given the fact that they were no longer kids anymore.

She looked at Eren, wondering what he was thinking, but he had already closed his eyes, seemingly ready to give himself over to the land of dreams.

She smiled softly, waiting until his breathing slowed to a soft, steady puff. He was asleep, so he wouldn’t feel the little kiss she placed on his cheek.

She would kill anyone for that boy, she realized, and that was the most dangerous thing of all.

————

Jean and Connie were out by the stables, tending to the horses before heading in for the night. Jean brushed his horse until the coat of the mare was shiny and smooth. She gave an appreciative little snort.

Connie laughed, pointing at Jean. “She just communicated with you, she recognized you as one of her kind!”

Jean narrowed his eyes, cursing Eren for giving him the nickname of horseface.

“Say that again and you go down in the pile of horseshit.” Jean countered, though they both knew he was joking. The wrath of Levi if they came in with horse shit on them would be a worse punishment.

The horse nudged Jean with her nose, as if trying to get his attention. There was a sound of boots on brick that put an end to the squabbling of the two boys, their heads turning to face the intruders.

Connie visibly relaxed when he saw it was only Reiner and Bertolt. “Wow, you guys scared us! Don’t sneak up on us like that.”

Jean frowned, not as easily calmed as Connie. Even though it was their comrades from their trainee days, no one was supposed to know where they were hiding. Commander Erwin expressly said that anyone who revealed their location was a traitor.

“We were sent as backup protection because the recent attacks on Eren.” Reiner explained, warily eyeing Jean out of the corner of his eye.

“That’s funny.” Jean reached to the side to grab a nearby pitchfork just in case. “Captain Levi never mentioned anything like that.”

Reiner smirked, holding up his arm to reveal a long gash across his forearm.

“We have a very special set of skills.” He said, his body beginning to transform, growing bigger and covering itself with a thick coat of armor, silver glinting in the light as he rose to his full height, head barely clearing the top of the barn.

Jean and Connie watched in terror before Jean shoved Connie, stepping in front of him. “Run and alert the others! I’ll hold them off as long as I can!”

Connie turned to run but the exit was blocked by Bertolt, who had also revealed his true form, wild flames dancing across his skin as he touched the wall of the barn, setting it aflame.

“Why are guys doing this? Aren’t we friends?” He cried, the feeling of betrayal sinking in.

“We aren’t your friends. We’re warriors.” Answered Reiner, bounding forward and knocking Jean against one of the stalls, the force knocking more than the wind out of him. Jean felt pain radiate from his ribs, noting that Reiner definitely could’ve broken something.

“Traitorous bastards!” He screamed, hoping that between the noise and the fire, his comrades would notice and come to help. Either that or it would be the end of his life. He grit his teeth, bitterly imagining the jokes about him dying in a barn.

Reiner was about to advance on Jean again when something hit the back of his head, a dull thud against the back of his armor. They both looked to see the the source, a potato laying on the ground.

The stunned silence was only broken by Sasha jumping out and shooting an arrow between Reiner’s eyes. It was perfectly aimed, but it bounced off his armor like nothing.

Yup, they were screwed, Jean thought darkly.

————

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: there’s a lot going on at home right now so it’s hard to concentrate but I hope that you still are enjoying the story. I apologize if I made errors or the writing has suffered. There’s literally no where quiet to escape to. 😭


	11. Chapter 11

The door banged open, making the wall rattle with the force. The sound immediately woke the two teenagers fast asleep in each other’s arms, which in turn caused a very awkward moment to pass between superior and subordinates as Levi stood in the doorway, only expecting to see one head popping out from underneath the covers. If the situation wasn’t so serious, perhaps he would’ve had a snappy quip for them, but the situation called for a more urgent response.

“Get up! We’re under attack!” He yelled, turning on his heel to quickly remove himself from whatever the hell he walked in on and to go help the newbies before they became BBQ.

The red faces on Eren and Mikasa soon faded with the realization that there was a distinct smell of smoke in the air with the colors of flames casting shadows on the wall of Eren’s room.

Mikasa scrambled out of bed without a second thought, flying down the stairs to gear up. Eren wondered for a moment if he should get his gear or just transform but since he didn’t really know the nature of the enemy, he followed Mikasa to get the ODM gear on. It wouldn’t hurt to have options, depending on what the situation called for.

————

Sasha laughed nervously when her arrow did little good to actually harm Reiner, moving to inch behind a beam. “I’m sorry, Mr. Tin Man.” She squeaked from behind the poor excuse for a hiding spot.

While they were all distracted by Sasha’s unique approach to scaring the enemy, Levi swung past Bertolt’s shoulder, narrowly missing being singed by the flames. He landed in the middle of the barn, his blades held in a defensive stance.

“Everyone out! I’ll keep them busy.” Levi instructed, observing that his blade would do little good on the armor covering Reiner but perhaps he could still cut through the flames of Bertolt. That and he suspected he could move much faster.

Jean tried to get up but hissed, still in pain from Reiner tackling him earlier. Connie saw him in struggle and ran over, offering his shoulder. Levi jumped up and swung towards Bertolt, maneuvering his blades around to cut and slice, but they paused through him like he was trying to put out a candle with a needle.

Well then.

He watched the kids escape out of the corner of his eye and decided to change tactics, baiting and dodging strategically.

Mikasa and Eren finally made it out to see their friends running from the barn, flames weakening the structure to the point that pieces were falling down.

“The Captain is still inside!” Sasha yelled to them and Mikasa ran forward to go help when suddenly the roof collapsed, the walls crumbling and caving in under the weight.

They all stared in shock as the fire continued to eat away at the building.

Sasha started crying and Eren fell to his knees, at a loss of what to do.

“He sacrificed himself for us.” Connie whispered. What could they possibly do now?

“Oi, why are you crying?” A voice came from behind them, causing them all to spin around, relief flooding their faces.

“You’re alive!”

Levi patted out a part of his coat that was still smoking a bit. “Obviously. I escaped before the collapse but those big idiots are still in the rubble.”

“What big idiots?” Eren wondered, feeling really confused by all the things happening to his still drowsy brain.

“Reiner and Bertolt.” Jean answered, finally sitting on the ground against a tree to rest. Of all the times for Hange to be absent.

“Are you ok, Jean?” Mikasa asked, moving over to check on him, since his face went pretty pale.

“My ribs.” He said, taking some joy in the fact that Mikasa was worrying over him.

He didn’t get to revel in the attention for long, because a fist burst through the charred ruins of the barn, making enough room for Reiner and Bertolt to emerge again.

“What the hell?” Connie whined.

“There’s no way it can be Reiner and Bertolt.” Eren’s head was reeling with the information, those were their comrades, their friends.

“We saw them with our own eyes, they found out where we were hiding you and then they attacked us. Do you think I gave myself broken ribs for fun?” Jean snapped, fear setting in again. He was like a sitting duck with his injury, he would just hold everyone back.

He squeezed his eyes shut, accepting his fate. “Leave me behind and get out of here!” He knew their horses were gone and ODM gear was the only way to escape.

“Are you trying to be Eren?” Connie deadpanned, raising a brow.

Jean scowled in response.

“Don’t worry, I’ll transform.” Eren said, bringing his thumb to his mouth to bite down. Everyone stared at him in expectation and nothing happened.

He kept biting but he couldn’t manage to make the change.

“Eren, stop.” Mikasa put her hand on his shoulder. “We’ll fight them off the best we can.”

Eren pulled his hair in frustration, the pair advancing on them from the wreckage. What was wrong with him? Why wasn’t he able to make the transformation?

Connie and Sasha ran to grab their gear as Mikasa and Levi took off, trying to, at the very least, exhaust Reiner and Bertolt. They knew Eren could only stay transformed so long so maybe they could try that method.

Eren followed them after a minute of staring at his thumb in disappointment. Maybe it was because in the back of his mind he was still reluctant to fight his comrades.

Once Mikasa was within reach, Bertolt sent a fireball her way, causing her to have to dodge straight into Reiner’s hand. He grabbed her and threw her against a tree, her cry alerting Eren that something was wrong. He rushed over, landing next to her. He faintly could hear Connie and Sasha zipping by to help shield them from attack because Eren lost all sense of self preservation.

Mikasa couldn’t move, Reiner’s grip and the impact on the tree had caused considerable damage. She felt blood trickling down her forehead and she was pretty sure she had some broken bones. Eren took her into his arms, cradling her against his chest. He was crying, crying for her.

He looked around at all of his comrades fighting, getting flung around and injured. He felt so helpless and useless at that moment, without being able to use his powers, he wouldn’t even put a dent in Reiner’s armor.

“I’m sorry... I’m a failure, I couldn’t even do anything to help...” Eren cried, shoulders shaking with his grief and frustration, they were all going to die and it was his fault.

Seeing Eren breaking down, Mikasa knew she needed to bring him back to a happy place, remind him how beautiful life could be, even if it was their last moments. “Eren.”

He blinked back tears, looking at her.

“Thank you... for wrapping this scarf around me.” She touched the scarf, her own tears threatening to fall. She kept going, seeing that he had frozen in place, watching her with wide eyes. “Thank you for being by my side, for teaching me how to live.”

She looked down, wondering if Eren would accept her last wish. She leaned forward, slowly closing the distance between them. “Thank you...”

There was a shift in Eren, as if life and purpose had been revived inside him.

“I’ll wrap this scarf around you again and again...forever.” He promised, turning away from Mikasa with renewed vigor to defend her with everything he had.

Suddenly things got quiet, like the world around them stopping moving. It was almost eerie. 

The world _had_ literally stopped around them.

Mikasa’s jaw dropped in wonder, amazed by the battle that had been frozen in time. Reiner and Bertolt were unable to move, paused in mid-action.

Eren looked just as perplexed as her before he looked down at his thumb, questioning if he was out of his mind.

“Mikasa, I think I did this.” He said, absolutely baffled by how that was possible, but he remembered wishing he could freeze time and it happened.

Mikasa stared at their surroundings in awe, aware that everyone except for their squad was unable to move. The rest of the team was very confused as well, exchanging looks and wondering if they all collectively were having a really crazy dream.

“This you, Eren?” Levi asked, landing near the pair.

Eren nodded, figuring it had to be.

“Hm, not bad.” Levi commented, thankful that they had a way out that didn’t involve them dying a fiery death. Life was already enough like hell. “We should probably get out of here before it wears off.”

Eren turned his back to Mikasa in invitation and she climbed up, wrapping her arms around his neck. He supported her, grabbing under her thighs to hoist her up, He tried to be as gentle as possible, knowing she was in pain.

It hurt, but Mikasa felt warm, she buried her face into the back of Eren’s neck, breathing him in.

Levi set off some flares, hoping that Hange and Armin would see it on their trip back to the cabin and be able to pick them up.

————

By some miracle they were picked up by Hange and Armin and taken back to HQ, where they got the medical care they needed. Eren insisted on waiting by Mikasa’s bed until she was better. Armin joined him for a while, relieved that his friends had survived. He didn’t say where he had been, but Eren had a feeling he already knew.

Eren watched Mikasa sleep, deep in contemplation. The connection between the two was obvious and suddenly Armin felt that maybe he was intruding on an intimate moment. He moved to excuse himself from the room but stopped short when Eren suddenly said something.

“After the war is over, I want to build us a home again.” Eren said quietly and Armin picked up on the significance on the words right away. Something had changed and Eren was no longer the oblivious kid he’d been before.

“I think she’d like that.” Armin smiled, happy for the two. He wasn’t sure if Eren would admit it to Mikasa but it was progress nonetheless.

Eren hummed faintly in response, his fingers moving to lace with Mikasa’s.

Oh, that was definitely his cue to leave.

Armin gingerly rose from his chair, patting Eren on the back.

“I’m going to check on Jean.” Armin excused, moving towards the door. A small nod from Eren was the only sign that he had be listening at all.

He stayed with her until food was delivered, some lukewarm soup and a loaf of bread. Eren ate, knowing that Mikasa would scold him if he didn’t when she woke up. He smiled to himself, watching her sleep peacefully, the only thing marring the beauty of her face the bandage wrapped around her head.

He leaned forward after his meal, feeling sleepy himself. He closed his eyes, dreaming of soft, pink lips closing in on his own, long dark lashes fluttering against his cheek as they kissed. It was a really nice dream.

————

When Eren woke, his eyes opened to a completely different scene, finding himself in a pub across from a blond man with a beard and glasses. Eren tensed, sweeping the room with his eyes. Where was he and who was this man?

“Hello, Eren.” The man said, leaning forward more into the light coming from the fireplace next to them. Eren was struck with familiarity at the clearer view of the stranger’s face, he looked so much like his father. “I’m your half brother, Zeke. I hope your enjoyed your soup.”

Eren frowned, shaking his head in disbelief. No, he was Grisha’s only son.

“What are you talking about? And where the hell am I?” He demanded, clenching his hands into fists. This stranger had drugged him somehow and dragged him off to wherever they were. How did that even happen?

“Somewhere we can have a conversation without getting interrupted.” Zeke answered, gesturing to the other occupants of the room. They were far enough away and drunk enough not to care about Eren and Zeke, but the threat was there, innocent bystanders could die if Eren didn’t cooperate.

Eren begrudgingly decided to hear him out, since he actually wanted some answers. If Zeke knew anything about his powers, perhaps it wouldn’t be so bad to talk to him.

Zeke passed a photo over to Eren, the picture depicting his father, Grisha, standing next to a blonde woman and a baby. Eren stared at the picture, feeling betrayed. His father had another family and never mentioned them?

“We lived in the Marley internment camps.” Zeke began explaining, knowing his past would help explain just how far he was willing to go for his cause. “My patents met planning a rebellion and I was part of their plan, they wanted me to be chosen by Marley to acquire special powers to defend Marley. Of course, my father intended on me betraying them and fighting for Eldian freedom but I wasn’t good enough to rise far enough in the ranks. I reported Grisha and Dina to the police, turned in my own parents.”

Eren watched Zeke talk with a blank expression, not really sure what to make of him. He couldn’t really tell where his loyalty laid.

“The act was such a strong show of loyalty that I began to win favor and I befriended a professor who would give me the serum.”

“The serum?” That intrigued Eren, remembering the syringe that had been administered to him by his father.

“You also received it, though by the time Grisha gave it to you, he had made some improvements.” Zeke reached in his bag, an beaten old, leather satchel, and produced a journal as well as a folder. “I pulled these from the wreckage of your old home. Grisha liked to keep secrets from his family and he kept a pretty major one from you.”

Eren tensed, recognizing his father’s handwriting as he opened the journal briefly to look inside. It seemed like it was legit, but he wasn’t going to read the whole thing just to get to this supposed secret that had been kept from him.

“Because he had perceived that I failed him, he had you to take my place. He was prouder of you, loved you more. I can read thoughts so even in Marley I knew you existed and that you had his approval more than I ever did.” Zeke’s voice was tinged with bitterness, nothing quite like knowing you were the lesser child straight from the source.

“Are you here because of some sibling rivalry?” Eren snapped in annoyance. It’s not as if he tried to be the favorite son, he had thought he was the only one.

“Oh no. See, I could even see into your head for a few years.” Zeke smirked to himself, tapping the front of his head. “You might be crazier than I am, by the way. The darkness inside your mind was such a fun place to explore.”

Eren gripped the table in front of them until his knuckles went white. Zeke had messed around with his head when he was a kid?

“I’m not able to get in there anymore.” Zeke added, grabbing the folder and pushing it to the forefront. “What do you know about the Ackerman clan?”

Eren’s eyes immediately darted to the name on the file, Mikasa Ackerman, written in his father’s writing. Was it a medical record?

“Just that Mikasa is part of it.” He answered quietly, a sick feeling rising in his stomach. He tentatively reach forward to grab the file when images suddenly flashed by his mind.

_Mikasa laying on a table with tubes and wires sticking out of her. She looked so small and pale. She was unconscious and Eren ran towards her, reaching out to free her._

He was back at the table before he could see more, heart pounding hard in his chest. He dropped the folder, hands shaking.

“The Ackermans are special. They are the only Eldians with an ability to pass down powers beyond what a normal human is capable of through blood. For the rest of us, we take the serum to awaken the potential inside us. They are also immune to telepathic interference. However, Ackermans are cursed with a bond, whoever awakens their powers also awakens a lifelong loyalty with that person.”

It wasn’t surprising to hear that Mikasa was special, the kind of strength she had wasn’t normal, but the idea of the bond made Eren sick. He knew the exact moment when he prompted Mikasa to awaken her abilities.

Suddenly, he was filled with doubt, wondering if every time she had protected him or shown him affection was out of a blood born duty rather than love.

“Mikasa, as you have figured out, formed a bond with you. But what you may not know, is how far that goes.” Zeke opened the cover of the folder, revealing Grisha’s medical notes on Mikasa as well as scribbled down formulas that Eren didn’t understand.

“What are you trying to tell me?” Eren wasn’t even sure he wanted the answer but he wanted truth.

“When we take the serum, if you are strong enough to handle it, you are able to manifest powers for anywhere from 10-13 years. After that, your body breaks down so suddenly that your health rapidly deteriorates and you die. Some people who can’t handle the serum die instantly.” Zeke paused, shifting through the pages with the formulas scribbled on them. “Grisha developed a work around for that using Mikasa’s DNA, because Ackerman DNA is able to tolerate the serums side effects.”

Eren swallowed hard, his fears confirmed, his father had experimented on Mikasa, used her to formulate the serum given to him.

It got worse than that though, so much worse.

“The method for getting the necessary materials...” Zeke knew it was risky to tell Eren the story behind it, but it was necessary to break him. “Grisha planned a kidnapping. He hired men to carry it out but they lost control and killed her parents. His plan was to return her peacefully after the experiments but I guess you are well aware that didn’t happen.”

The image of Eren and his father swinging the door open to the Ackerman house, the bloodied bodies laying lifeless on the floor. He felt bile rise in his throat and he turned, retching onto the floor next to them, tears stinging his eyes.

“Liar!” He screamed, his body shaking with grief, unable to accept that he was ultimately the cause of Mikasa’s parents being murdered. It was all his fault.

“Eren, I’m sorry.” Zeke looked at him with pity, moving around the table to offer his brother a handkerchief. Eren wiped his mouth on his sleeve instead, eyes flashing with aggression.

“Why are you lying? Get away from me, you bastard!” Eren was getting quite a few stares at this point, but Zeke waved them away, excusing his brother for “having too much to drink.”

“Eren.” Zeke grabbed his shoulders, trying to bring him back to reality. “You have the memories there, you just buried them, you know I’m telling the truth.”

And he did, he knew Zeke was right, he had seen Mikasa hooked up to the machines and his father told him not to say anything, that she was just getting a special treatment for her health. He believed him, he was so stupid then.

He cried harder, nodding. “I remember.”

Zeke calmed down, seeing that he had gotten through to him.

“I think that’s enough for today. Come back here in two days and I will tell you more.”

Zeke left him, crying and shaken up by the fire. He ran out of energy after a while, tears drying up. He stared into the flames after that, feeling hollow.

Whatever hope had been sparked inside him on that field, looking into those beautiful pools of grey, had been shattered. There’s no way he deserved Mikasa when his entire existence had ruined her life.

————

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is such a roller coaster. I can’t even tell if I like what I’m writing anymore, but here it is~


	12. Chapter 12

The next meeting, Eren snuck out with a hood over his head to the same place he had met Zeke previously and they sat at the same table. This time, Zeke offered him a glass of amber colored liquid, whiskey, saying it would help chase away the pain. Eren took a sip and immediately spit it out.

Zeke watched him in amusement. “It takes getting used to.”

Eren made a face but continued to take little sips, forcing the bitter liquid down despite the burn.

They talked for hours, Zeke explaining the mission that was set before them, how Annie, Reiner, and Bertolt were fighting in order to save their families, how bad the conditions were for Eldians in Marley. Marley’s military influence was fading, other nations realizing they were barely hanging on to their power anymore. They were desperate.

“I’m planning a take over.” Zeke revealed, knowing that Eren would be impelled to join in once he realized what Zeke wanted to do. “Your current king is content to keep everyone in the dark, to let Eldia fall at the hands of the enemy because he constantly makes the people forget, makes sure the weapons and technology are hindered to the point of being 100 years behind the rest of the world.”

“Wait, making people forget? Then the king...” Eren’s eyes widened, realizing how much they had been fooled all along.

“Yes, the royal family had been taking the serum for years. Those with royal blood have a tendency towards telepathic abilities.”

“Then you?” Eren’s jaw dropped open, Zeke was of royal blood.

“Yes, I am. My mother was part of the Fritz lineage.” He confirmed, drinking from his own glass of whiskey.

Eren downed the rest of his glass with a grimace, appreciating the way that after the burn faded, it filled his body with warmth.

“So what are you going to do?” He wasn’t exactly sure why he trusted Zeke or felt comfortable around him, perhaps he was happy to finally have family, to have someone who had also had their childhood ruined by Grisha. He wasn’t really sure, but it was a relief to know that ultimately Zeke wanted to betray Marley.

“I have another hidden agent, she’s the only one who knows where my true loyalties are, besides you. She is guarding a heir to the throne, an illegitimate child of the king. We’ll use her to replace the current ruler and then that’s where you and I come in.”

Eren sat up straighter, listening intently to his brother. Zeke’s lips twitched into a little smile, relieved to see that Eren wasn’t protesting his idea so far.

“There’s this thing that I can access because of my royal blood, the coordinate. With that, I can influence anyone in the world, my powers would be amplified to that extent. However, I could only change the present. With your help, we can change the past. We could set it up so the world views Marley as an enemy if we wanted to.” The plan sounded intriguing, they would definitely need to influence the minds of the people to accept a new ruler on Paradis at the very least.

“There’s more.” Zeke swirled his whiskey in his glass, the final phase of his plan was going to be the hardest to convince Eren of. “I plan on restoring Eldia’s military prominence by giving all soldiers the serum.”

Eren tensed, feeling unease settle in him. “But then they would all die after a certain number of years...” He trailed off, watching Zeke carefully, waiting for him to confirm his worst fear.

“Not necessarily, we have the formula to fix that.”

“No!” Eren stood up abruptly, slamming his hands on the table that the wood cracked and splintered under his hands. Zeke glanced down nervously, seeing that Eren cut his hand. He had to be very careful with his next words.

“There are other living Ackermans. We don’t have to use Mikasa. If you join me, I will ensure she is spared. We can change her name and hide her identity. We have the ability to make everyone forget there’s anything special about her.”

Eren softened, slowly lowering himself back down. He had been worried about Mikasa being revealed so he had tossed the folder with her information in the fireplace after their last meeting.

“Fine, but if you betray me then I will kill you.” Eren replied, offering his hand to shake Zeke’s in agreement, but his eyes were dark and dangerous, holding an ominous threat.

Zeke chuckled, knowing full well Eren would kill him without hesitation. Perhaps that was part of the reason why he trusted Eren with his goal. “I wouldn’t expect anything less.” He took Eren’s hand to seal the deal.

————

Their squad laid low for a few months to allow injuries to heal. Though Mikasa was impatient and started moving earlier than recommended anyway. They had all begun to get restless, so the superiors gave them a night off.

It was the first night in a long time that they had some time for themselves. They were able to leave the SC base and have a night in the town.Most of the soldiers headed to the nearest tavern for a drink and Mikasa followed along since Eren seemed to be in a mood that would benefit from some distraction. Though she decided not to indulge herself, making excuses about needing to stay sharp should the need arise, Eren downed drinks one after the other. They said his tolerance was really high, if the number of empty glasses before him was any indication.

Others in their group did not hold their alcohol as well. Jean and Connie started singing drinking songs, slurring the lyrics and forgetting lines. The cook had a crush on Sasha and kept bringing out complimentary dishes until she was in a food coma, laying across and entire booth seat. Armin was laughing until there were tears in his eyes, which made Mikasa smile to herself. It was good to see her friends so happy for a change. Eren’s demeanor didn’t change much though and he stood from the table after a while and headed outside by himself. Mikasa watched him go, heart aching at the sight of him leaving.

“Go.” Armin nudged her, seeming to sober up enough to see the internal dilemma she was having.

Mikasa nodded with a grateful smile, reaching over to ruffle his blond hair.

She slipped out of the booth and headed out after Eren, frowning as she searched for the familiar form among the people milling about outside the tavern. He wasn’t in sight so she started walking, down the road next to the building and found Eren sitting on a some wooden boxes in the alley. It was partially hidden from the view of the street, but she knew him and when he was in one of his moods he would find a dark, solitary place to loose himself in his spiraling thoughts.

“Eren.” Mikasa said, stepping into the shadows with him. His eyes were dark in the light of the moon, his gaze focused on something far away.

He lifted his hand without looking at her, beckoning her forward. Mikasa moved closer, feeling a little confused by his odd behavior. He hadn’t been right in months, not since Reiner and Bertolt attacked and he awakened his powers of time control.

“Mikasa, I’m so sorry...” he whispered, wrapping his arms around her waist when she was close enough and pulling her in until his face was pressed against her abdomen. Mikasa flushed, heat rising in her cheeks at the intimate hold. She hated that he was feeling morose on her account though.

“Eren, what wrong?” She asked, absently carding her fingers through his hair. It had started to grow longer than normal and she found that it felt nice between her fingers.

“Why do you stay by my side?” Eren breathed, his hot breath penetrating the material of Mikasa’s shirt and giving her goosebumps. She swallowed hard, becoming painfully aware of how close they were and how much her resolve to keep things platonic was fading. She knew he had too much to drink, she couldn’t really trust that he knew what he was doing, could she?

Oh, he asked a question. “Huh?” Was her intelligent response, head swimming with fears and doubts and butterflies.

Eren moved his head back, emerald eyes meeting hers with startling clarity. She could smell the alcohol on his breath but he looked alert as ever. He slid a hand up her hip and shifted the bottom of her shirt up enough to expose the gun shot scar and a portion on her abs. He turned his gaze down to the mark, thumb grazing the raised skin.

“I’m sorry.” He repeated, eyes softening into something more heartbreaking. Mikasa tensed, frozen in place. He hadn’t done anything like this before and she didn’t know where it was going. Eren took her silence as permission and bent forward to place a kiss on the scar as if the kiss could heal the hurt he had caused.

Mikasa gasped, knees feeling weak and nearly buckling at the heat of his lips on her skin. What the hell was happening? “E-Eren...” she gripped his head again, fingers tangling back into the wild locks. “W...What are you doing?”

Eren hummed against her skin, sending shivers up her spine. He pressed more kisses against her abdomen, lips traveling away from the scar and over the muscles hidden beneath pale, smooth skin.

Mikasa felt like her face was flaming red, caught between a haze of desire to let Eren continue and pull away. She had to be dreaming, this wasn’t the Eren she was used to.

“S..Stop...” she finally forced out, gritting her teeth and giving his hair a little tug. If he was only doing this because he was drunk and would regret it later, then she didn’t want it. They had all been through some tough times and Eren wasn’t thinking clearly.

Eren stopped his kisses and hugged her, quietly holding her for a while until she felt damp drops against her skin. She knew what they were, Eren was crying. Feeling that she somehow hurt him with her rejection, she shifted and sat beside him, taking his hands in hers.

“You aren’t thinking clearly and if you are going to...” she blushed again, wondering how to word what was happening between them. “If you want to make an advance like this then I want it to be clear headed.”

Eren had tears in his eyes and he didn’t bother to hide it as he stared at her.

“I’m not drunk, Mikasa.”

She sucked in a breath she didn’t know she was holding. Did this mean that he actually felt something for her too?

He leaned forward, his lips barely an inch from hers. “I don’t deserve you, you should push me away.” He said, words ghosting across her lips. She closed her eyes expectantly.

“No, I won’t.” She whispered in return.

His lips were on hers in an instant and it was soft at first as if he was still expecting her to stop him until he grew more confident and put more pressure behind his kiss. Their lips moved against each other, exploring and discovering how they fit together. It was new territory, they had never kissed anyone else before. Mikasa’s heart was pounding in her chest and she felt light headed, overwhelmed with the warmth of him so close to her.

The taste of alcohol still lingered on his lips but she didn’t mind the bitter taste as she tilted her head, inviting more. Eren shifted even closer, the heat of the bodies intoxicating as she was pulled up into his lap.

Their lips parted for a minute for the both to catch their breath, their foreheads still pressed together.

A crashing noise beside them broke the moment and Mikasa jumped off Eren so fast that she tumbled to the ground very inelegantly. She usually wasn’t so clumsy but her heart was still racing.

Connie stumbled into the alleyway, puking his guts out as Jean supported him. The sounds of him emptying the contents of his stomach totally killed whatever mood had been there previously. Sasha followed suit, knocking into Connie and also throwing up. Armin stumbled over behind them, casting a surprised look over at Mikasa and Eren. Their flushed cheeks, disheveled clothes and the suspicious way they were looking anywhere but at each other was a giveaway that something occurred between them.

“Oh hey, there you guys are!” Connie exclaimed, wiping his mouth with the back of his sleeve. Jean clucked his tongue in disgust, letting go of the shorter boy.

“All that delicious food went good bye.” Sasha groaned in anguish.

“I’m sure Piccolo will make you more next time.” Connie said, giggling to himself.

“Niccolo!” Sasha corrected, losing her balance and falling onto her butt.

“Perfect timing.” Eren remarked dryly and stood up, walking past his comrades and avoiding eye contact with any of them. Mikasa watched him, hurt settling in the pit of her stomach. He didn’t even offer to help her up. She pushed herself to her feet and grabbed her scarf to pull it up over the cheeks that still felt too hot.

“What’s his problem?” Jean snapped in annoyance as Eren left them behind again, walking off on his own. Armin frowned, seeing the way Mikasa crumbled at Eren’s rejection.

“Probably just tired, let’s head back.” Armin lied, hoping that they would accept that excuse and drop the subject before Mikasa grew more upset.

She was quiet the entire way back to the base, her head spinning with questions about where they stood and what was going on with Eren.

——————

The next few days were uncomfortable, Eren avoiding talking to her or making eye contact. She had started to wonder if she did something wrong or has misinterpreted something about their interaction in the alley.

Armin noticed the strained relationship between the two and tried to encourage communication.Mikasa wondered if she and Eren would ever be able resolve anything without his mediation.

It had been nearly a week until they finally ran into each other alone. They had moved their operation back to the cabin, all of them busy fixing it up again. The main building was in tact and they would rebuild the stables for their horses.

Armin had implied that Eren had gone outside to chop firewood, giving Mikasa a significant glance. Mikasa took that as her cue to go help him and get a chance to talk about the way things had been left.

When she found him, the scene she came across startled her. He had discarded his shirt at some point, an impressive pile of firewood tossed haphazardly around him on the ground. It was the ferocity of his chopping that really implied that the action was less about accomplishing the task and more about letting out his aggression.

She stood and watched for a while, wondering how long it would take for Eren to notice her presence. She remembered the few times Eren had run across her with less clothing and decided it was time to get her turn. Her eyes travelled over his body, taking note of every muscle and how it shifted with his movements. His skin was coated in sweat, making his tanned skin shine. Puberty had been really kind to Eren, she noted. He was filling out more, chest becoming broader and his abs went all the way down to the v of his hips. She blushed, realizing how far south her gaze was going, mentally scolding herself for indulging so much in the view.

Eren had kissed her and touched her in a way that had implied there was more lingering between them than friendship but they hadn’t really established that yet. That’s what she needed to make sure of, then she could stare (or possibly even touch) all she wanted.

She took a deep breath to calm her racing heart, both with nerves and awakening desire.

Oh.

Eren’s intense gaze was on her then. He carefully lowered the axe to the ground, aggression fading away at the sight of her.

“Hi.” Mikasa said, losing her nerve. She could run into battle with all the confidence in the world but when it came to facing Eren, she became shy and timid.

Eren nodded at her in greeting, moving to pick up a bottle of water and take a swig. The air was tense between them, so many unsaid things hanging in the balance.

The silence stretched on for a while, Eren placing the bottle back down once he had his fill and he proceeded to busy himself with collecting the wood.

Mikasa sighed, realizing it would have to be her to bring it up, Eren was avoiding talking to her still.

“Eren, we need to talk.” She finally gathered the courage, marching herself over to him. She took the wood out of his hands and tossed it aside. She wanted his full attention.

Eren tensed, looking at Mikasa and then at the wood pile, nerves taking hold now that his distraction had been taken away.

“Look at me.” She instructed, reaching out and guiding his face towards her. Eren flinched away from her hold and Mikasa felt her heart ache at the rejection.

“It was a mistake.” Eren said, still refusing to look at her directly. “I’m sorry I did that to you, I had too much to drink.”

Mikasa sucked in a breath, that hurt, it hurt a lot. She felt tears well up in her eyes but she tried to blink them away before Eren noticed.

“Why do you keep apologizing?” She asked, drawing her hand back against her chest to grip her scarf.

Eren was at a loss for words, not really sure how to express what he was really thinking. She knew she wasn’t going to get anywhere with him. It seemed that without his liquid courage, he was content to break her heart and pretend he didn’t want her. She stepped away from him and started to head back, a tight feeling in her chest.

————

Mikasa skipped dinner, not feeling particularly hungry, but rest didn’t come to her easily. She decided to wander the cabin after many bouts of restless turning. She ended up downstairs in the dining room, coming across an equally insomniac Levi, with a cup of tea.

“You got anything stronger than Earl Grey?” She questioned, sitting across from the Captain.

“I’m afraid not.” Levi replied, taking a small sip of his tea. “I can make you some of this though.”

“Yes, sir.” She said, deciding the hot liquid might calm her restless heart anyway.

Levi stood up and headed into the kitchen, coming back a few minutes later with a cup and saucer full of an herbal blend.

She inhaled the fragrant leaves, the scent calming her a little already.

“What’s wrong?”

Mikasa glanced up at the older man, startled. It always took her by surprise when Levi took an interest in their lives, less like a superior and more like a paternal figure.

She bit her lip, wrapping her hands around the cup. It burned her fingers but the pain felt necessary to ground her.

“It’s Eren, isn’t it?” Perceptive as always, sometimes to an annoying degree, Levi had pinpointed the source of her heartache.

Mikasa managed a small nod.

Levi was quiet for a while, probably trying to come up with words that could comfort a teenage girl. He was usually pretty straight forward, which didn’t always agree with others, even if the intention was well meaning.

“Relationships within the military can be difficult. The deeper you get, the more there is to lose.” Levi finally said, speaking in a way that seemed to show experience with the subject.

Mikasa was intrigued, Levi never talked about things like love with anyone. She took a sip of tea, enjoying the slow burn down her throat. It didn’t burn in the same way alcohol did but it would suffice.

“Have you ever been in love, Captain?”

Levi lifted a brow, amused by her bold question. He turned his head, resting his chin on his palm.

“That’s none of your business, Ackerman.”He countered, but something about the way he answered didn’t deny that he was susceptible to the same emotions felt by other mere mortals.

“What do you do? When your love cannot be returned?” She stared down at the tea cup, feeling a fresh wave of tears. She couldn’t cry in front of Levi. He was a master of controlling his emotions, she bet he could help her regain control.

The weight of the question seemed to even go beyond what help Levi could offer. He sighed, bitterly.

“Wait.” Levi answered quietly. “And love them anyway.”

Mikasa jerked her head up, tears freely flowing from her eyes. She didn’t expect him to say such a thing, it seemed so unlike him.

“I’m not immune to what everyone else feels.” Levi admitted. “I’m just not allowed to show it. The minute my resolve crumbles, then my team falls apart. Sometimes you need to pretend to be strong until you believe it yourself.”

Her heart ached for Levi, knowing he had suffered loss beyond what she could imagine and yet he still stood strong, continued to fight no matter what shit life threw at him. A unspoken bond was there, an acknowledgment that Levi didn’t say those things to just anyone.

“Thank you.” She brushed away her tears, grateful for the support. He didn’t know it, but those words would carry her through some of the darkest moments in her life moving forward.

————

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I have a headcanon that Levi is like a dad to his squad and in this fic Mikasa is like a daughter figure to him. Also, hope you like that things got a little more saucy in this chapter, it might happen from time to time...


	13. Chapter 13

Eren suspected his dreams were connected to his powers, that he would see events of past and future. He had never experienced anything quite like the dream he had that night.

He saw a figure in a black hooded cardigan, taller than himself and with longer hair. He stepped towards the man, wondering who it could be.

The light touched his face and Eren stumbled back, shocked by the sight. Standing in front of him was... himself. An older version, probably a couple years in the future. He looked tired, haunted, his eyes dead and lifeless.

“You have to kill them. Every last one.” The older Eren said, though the statement lacked his usual fire and enthusiasm. It sounded almost sad, resigned.

“Who?” Eren asked himself, afraid of the answer.

“Every person on the planet, everyone outside of Paradis.” Eren’s eyes widened, wondering how he could possibly accomplish something that extensive or even why he would possibly want to. The older Eren already knew what he was thinking, after all, it was him.

“You need to protect them.” Older Eren added, grabbing onto Younger Eren’s shirt. “Zeke’s plan fails, he can’t make enough of the serum for his super army that is stabilized with Ackerman DNA. He kills more than half the population of Paradis with the serum because they can’t handle the transition. Marley rallies other nations to turn against Paradis and they slaughter nearly everyone. Anyone that’s left is taken as prisoners.”

The other Eren has tears streaming down his face as he drops to his knees, screaming.

Eren stared at the broken man in front of him, horrified by the future he told him of, of the mess he would become.

“Zeke betrays you.” Older Eren choked out, voice cracking. “He kills her to use her for the serum. You couldn’t stop it.” He dug his nails into his own skin, ripping red lines though his face in grief. “You useless piece of shit let everyone die!” He wailed again, crumbling to the ground.

Younger Eren fell to his knees too, heart beating fast. No, no, no... he had to stop it. He had to fight and he had to win!

His eyes blazed as he grabbed hold of his older self and punched him as hard as he could, snapping him out of his self pity.

“Never!” He yelled, punching him again. The older Eren spit up blood but didn’t resist the beating. “I won’t end up pathetic like you! I will win. I will be free.”

The other Eren started laughing, the sound hollow and chilling. The laughter echoed in his mind even as he jerked awake, covered in a thick layer of sweat. He was shaking, unable to breathe. He started panicking, gasping for air.

“Eren, are you ok?” Eren saw a blond head pop up from across the room. Armin, he was alive.

He also looked to see Connie and Jean safely snoozing in their beds.

Suddenly he could breathe again, but he was still shaking.

“I need... I need some air.” He gasped, scrambling out of bed and exiting the room. The air in the hall was cooler and helped him wake up more to clear his head. There was something else he needed though. He crept down the hall and gently eased the door to the girls’ room open and poked his head in. Sasha was on one side of the room, snuggling her pillow and snoring and Mikasa was on the other, quietly sleeping on her side.

Eren padded across the room to her side, gently sitting on the edge of the bed to stare at the peaceful face. He could feel the warm breath escaping her parted lips and her eyes fluttered open at the shifting of the bed springs.

“Hi.” Eren greeted, reaching over to tuck some silky hair behind her ear.

“Mm, am I dreaming?” She mumbled sleepily. She blinked a few times to adjust her eyes to the dimly lit room. Only the light streaming in from the window illuminated the space.

“Yeah.” Eren bent over and fondly kissed her forehead. She inhaled sharply, reaching out to touch his face.

“Liar.”

“You caught me.” Eren smiled, his fears melting away as she gave him a sleepy smile.

“Why are you here?” She asked, dropping her hand in order to push herself up into a sitting position.

Eren’s gaze shifted to the side, recalling the chilling details of the dream. He wasn’t sure he could share those kinds of horrors with his friends. He couldn’t tell them what he needed to become to save them.

His silence was enough to tell her and Mikasa scooted over, offering the empty space beside her if Eren needed company to chase away the demons inside his head.

Eren tensed at the offer, knowing that would cross a line. Ever since he gave in to his weakness and kissed her, they couldn’t ever be that close again or he would fall right back into his desires.

He didn’t want to hurt her again though, he remembered how hurt Mikasa was the last time he rejected her.

“I had a nightmare.” He said, deciding that some truth was fine to share. He would just omit the fact that it had in fact been his older self appearing to him in warning of the future.

She nodded encouragingly, listening quietly for him to elaborate.

“All of you died and I couldn’t do anything.” He felt like it was hard to breathe again and he clutched his chest, concentrating on each inhale and exhale until he calmed down.

Mikasa’s eyes softened, reminded of how helpless Eren felt when they were facing off against Reiner and Bertolt.

“Eren,” Mikasa took his hand, holding it in her own. “Don’t be scared. We’re fine and you are not helpless. You are powerful beyond what you know. I trust you to do everything you can to keep us safe.”

Eren looked her in the eyes, tightening his grip on her hand. Little did she know what she was encouraging him to do. “You’re all important to me, more than anyone. So I want you to live long lives.”

Mikasa felt heat rise in her cheeks and Eren responded the same. Even though Eren was referring to their team, the message got across to her, that she mattered to Eren. The blush on his cheeks was a giveaway that perhaps he meant something more in her case.

A particularly loud snore came from Sasha’s bed and Mikasa hid a giggle behind her hand.

“How do you sleep with that?” Eren laughed quietly, glad that he could see Mikasa happy again. “Anyway, I should probably get back.”

He moved to leave and Mikasa didn’t protest, content to have Eren’s words play over and over again in her head. She was important to him.

Eren stepped outside of the room and quietly shut the door, although he doubted much would wake Sasha. He turned to head back to the boys’ dorm when he ran right into Levi, standing with his arms crossed. He nearly jumped out of his skin, paling considerably at being caught.

“What exactly were you doing in there, Yeager?” Levi seemed to second guess his words, realizing he probably didn’t want to know. “Never mind, just don’t let me catch you here again or I will be locking you all in your rooms at night.”

Eren nodded, relaxing a little when he realized that Levi wasn’t going to punish him for being out of his dorm at night.

He had something to say to the small man while he had his attention though. “Actually, Captain, I have something to tell you and Hange tomorrow.”

Levi lifted an eyebrow, looking back and forth between the girls room and Eren. “Shit, don’t tell me you got Mikasa pregnant. I will end you.”

The implication made Eren’s jaw drop in shock and he quickly shook his head, suddenly becoming bright red. “No! Nothing like that. It has to do with the enemy.”

Levi seemed to be relieved with that news, glad it was something actually relevant to their work and not unnecessary teenage drama. Erwin must’ve been so amused to put him on babysitting duty with this bunch.

“Fine, we’ll talk in the morning.” He agreed, stepping aside to let Eren pass. Eren walked back to his room, feeling piercing eyes on his back as he walked away to make sure Eren didn’t try to sneak back to the girls room.

Levi rubbed his forehead, feeling a headache coming.

————

The ultimate test of a relationship between two people is the ability of one to show up covered in blood and no questions are asked. Unless of course the question is: do you need help hiding the body?

Such was the relationship between Krista and Ymir.

Ymir stumbled in past midnight, covered in blood, with barely enough strength to make it past the door. Krista hadn’t been able to sleep, the constant sound of the other girl’s soft breathing absent and therefore Krista had felt too alone to close her eyes. They had shared a room for a couple years and Krista had grown used to the company and was truly grateful to have someone by her side. There hadn’t been many in her life that hadn’t left her.

“Ymir!” Krista flew out of her bed and fell on the floor next to Ymir, immediately checking for injuries.

“Blood isn’t mine.” Ymir mumbled, opening her grey eyes to watch Krista. Perhaps it was because they worked in the medical field or because Krista just trusted Ymir that much, but she just nodded in relief.

“Let’s get you cleaned up then.” Krista moved to get some clean towels when Ymir grabbed her arm, keeping her still.

“You aren’t going to ask why?” Ymir stared in disbelief, wondering if Krista was that dense or just too trusting.

“You would tell me if you wanted me to know.” Was the simple answer in her sweet voice. Ymir smirked in amusement. She was just really that polite then?

Finally gathering up enough energy, Ymir sat up and started peeling off layers of clothes, the blood semi-dried at this point and the fabric had begun to stick to her skin in a very uncomfortable way.

“What if I was a murderer and was coming for you next?”

Krista smiled and grabbed the nearest trash container for the contaminated clothes. “Ymir, you know I’ll support you in whatever you do.”

Ymir sighed, tossing the bloody shirt in the bin. “You’re going to want to burn that then.”

“I planned on it.”

Krista could really be surprising. She acted so sweet and helpful and let others walk all over her but helping Ymir cover up a murder, was not something she expected a sweet girl to be complicit to.

“Krista.” Ymir slipped her pants down and they joined the rest of the clothes in the bin. “I need you to promise me something.”

“Hm?” Krista grabbed her arm and helped her stand so that she could lead her into the bathroom. Ymir stopped her, leaning down close.

“Tell me your real name.”

Krista tensed, she knew Ymir was aware of some aspects of her past, but Krista never admitted her true identity.

Sensing her hesitation, Ymir pulled them both into the bathroom. Krista had gotten pretty dirty with her assistance too. “You will have to soon.”

Realization dawned on the blonde’s face, suddenly aware of who Ymir may have killed. Before any discussion into that subject could be had, Ymir was lifting her nightgown over her head. Words died on her lips as her face flushed with embarrassment.

“Y...Ymir...”

“Come on, sharing is caring or something lame like that.” Ymir gave her a mischievous grin, daring her to take the bait.

————

The next morning, Eren rose early and went to talk to Hange first thing, knowing she would be excited to hear his idea. He wanted everyone to be present when he revealed what he was working on to them, but he still had to worry about Zeke finding out.

“We need her permission first but I think it’s the only way we can pull this off.” Eren said, staring nervously at the ground. He would have to tell her everything and Mikasa might hate him, but if his theory was correct, they wouldn’t have to worry about Zeke’s manipulation.

Hange tapped her chin, talking out loud as she thought it over. “We need to report to Erwin so he should also be included but we can take care of that later. Let me work on it for a few hours with the samples I have and then I’ll meet you down at breakfast with my findings.”

Eren nodded and left her room to head downstairs. He was too early for breakfast but he occupied himself with cleaning and straightening things out until footsteps sounded down the stairs and more of the team started appearing and helping to get things ready for the day.

Sasha made them breakfast that morning and they sat around the table, ready to start eating, but Hange was still absent.

“Where the hell is four eyes? Is she taking a dump?” Levi muttered in annoyance, glancing towards the hallway up to their rooms.

“She’s working on something for me.” Eren stated, heads turning in his direction at that statement.

Levi lifted a brow, intrigued by what Eren could have asked her to work on that he didn’t know about. He knew Hange’s working habits very well.

Clumsy footsteps sounded down the hall and Levi knew who it was without even seeing her.

“Hange.”

“Levi.” Hange greeted back, grinning in pride as she dropped a box on the table filled with syringes.

“What did you just drop on the table where we eat?”

“Glad you asked! Think of it like an immunity shot.” She picked up a syringe and reached for Levi’s arm. He pulled it away, eyeing the syringe suspiciously.

“Like hell. What’s in it?”

“Hange, we should ask Mikasa first before we start injecting anyone.” Eren spoke up, surprising Mikasa. She looked over at him, startled. What did that have to do with her?

Eren twisted his napkin in his hands, glancing at his other comrades. He could only say some of it in front of them, the truth about Mikasa’s parents would have to wait. “Mikasa is special, her Ackerman DNA is what’s keeping me alive right now, otherwise the serum my father gave me would be killing me over time.” He paused, gauging Mikasa’s reaction. She was staring at him quietly, a mixture of confusion and shock on her features.

There were a million questions that statement brought up but Eren continued on without answering them.

“For reasons I can’t yet discuss, we all need to take the shot Hange made. She used some samples she had on hand and hopefully it should be enough to immunize everyone against our biggest threat. All I can say is that our enemy has a way of getting inside our minds and ever since Mikasa was used to stabilize the serum, I am resistant to telepathic interference. I think the same would happen for you guys as well.”

There was a moment of silence.

“Wait so this is a shot of Mikasa’s DNA? Are we going to be related now?” Connie asked, breaking the silence.

“That’s not how it works.” Armin answered, though he was still processing the situation himself. Eren had never told him or Mikasa about all of this. What else had he been hiding?

Mikasa still looked pretty lost and confused, so many unvoiced questions lingering in her mind.

“So, Mikasa, how do you feel about it?” Hange spoke up, asking her directly.

“I guess if it’s the best choice. I trust Eren.” She said softly, looking over to Eren, though he was avoiding her gaze at the moment. She had a feeling there was more to the story, but obviously it wasn’t the right time and place for that.

“All right.” Hange agreed, gleefully. “Who is first?”

“What the hell.” Jean rolled up his sleeve, volunteering to be the guinea pig.

Connie snickered, eyes lighting up with mischief. “That’s the closest you’ll get to Mika-ow!” He rubbed his leg since Jean kicked him under the table.

Sasha choked on a piece of bread as she laughed at them. Their antics lightened the mood in the room considerably.

Hange moved to inject the liquid into Jean’s arm, happy to have her first victim. There wasn’t anything notable that happened after the injection so it seemed like everything was fine.

“Don’t worry, I already tried it on myself.” Hange added, before moving on to the next person. Eventually everyone agreed and let her continue to administer the injections.

Once they all had been distributed, Eren took out his father’s journal and placed it on the table.

“I came across this from unnamed sources. It contains valuable information about the mutations caused by the serums.” Eren explained, flipping open the pages and stopping at a page that had a diagram of a man with a circle around the nape of the neck. “The serum makes them nearly impossible to kill except for this weak spot at the nape of the neck.”

“Good, now we’ll know how to kill you if you ever withhold information again.” Levi crossed his arms, eyes narrowed in Eren’s direction. He had thought that maybe Eren had just been a clueless brat at one point but it was clear he knew a lot more than he was letting on.

Eren swallowed, nodding. “That’s why I told you, in case you need to stop me in the future.”

————

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Thank you beautiful readers for your continued support and kudos! I think there should be more happening in the next chapter~


	14. Chapter 14

The information shared with the squad prompted a meeting with Erwin. Everything they discussed would be considered top secret and would only stay among them. The royal family had been brutally murdered the night of Eren’s dream, only further proving that Eren was telling the truth about Zeke’s plan.

“You’ll continue to go along with Zeke’s plan.” Erwin instructed him, deciding that Eren would be useful in taking down the enemy from the inside. Especially because they still didn’t really know who was the biggest threat at that point.

Eren nodded in agreement, having thought the same thing. It would be easier to take control of the situation if each side trusted him. Whoever he would end up needing to betray to get to his goal would be on his side until no longer necessary.

“He has a lab.” Eren announced, quite sure the Survey Corps would take the bait. “He’s going to try to replicate the serum my father used on me and give it to all Eldians on Paradis. He doesn’t have enough resources for the stabilization of the serum so we will have considerable losses. I’m requesting that we destroy it and stop him before he causes too many casualties.”

Erwin agreed, already devising a plan. “We’ll send in a team to destroy the lab while you meet with Zeke to distract him.”

Eren was pleased with how everything was turning out, he would be able to take Zeke down with their help, but not before using him to get what he wanted.

“Thank you, sir.”

Erwin watched Eren, able to pick up something about him without even having the power to see inside his mind.

“Who do you think the real enemy is, Eren?”

The question caught him off guard and Eren looked at the Commander cautiously. Was he aware that something was going on?

“Depends on your perspective, sir.” Eren answered, his face morphing into a blank, unreadable mask. “I think the enemy is whoever threatens the safety of Paradis.”

The hint of a smile touched Erwin’s lips, amused by the answer. How Eren had changed, from someone who blindly hated an enemy he knew so little about, to being someone who wanted to fiercely protect what he cared about, no matter who was on the receiving end of his rage.

It made Eren seem all the more dangerous.

“Hopefully our goals are always in alignment.” Erwin remarked, the lack emotion coming from Eren more unnerving than his outbursts of anger.

————

The majority of the squad was sent to destroy the lab, saving innocent citizens taking priority. Eren refused to let Mikasa go, afraid that even if Zeke made a promise to keep her out of harms way, that his ambitions would win out in the end.

Mikasa and Armin accompanied Eren instead, staying hidden while he walked out to meet Zeke. Reiner and Bertolt were there too, keeping watch for enemies hidden in the trees. They couldn’t afford to have anyone there that hadn’t been treated with the Ackerman serum, since their minds would be vulnerable to Zeke’s influence. It was a gamble to have such a small number guarding Eren so Erwin himself was also stationed with the two younger soldiers. He was quite curious to see who this man was that was planning on taking control over Paradis.

The air was tense as they watched the two brothers approach each other.

“Ready to start?” Zeke said, holding out his hand for Eren to take.

“Where’s the girl? The one who will be queen?” Eren questioned, making sure that Zeke didn’t have any surprises for him. They wanted to get as much as possible out in the open in case they had to save the girl too.

Zeke nodded towards a wagon stationed nearby, a hooded figure leaning against the side. Erenignored the offered hand and approached the wagon. As he neared, he saw the face of the stranger under the hood and stopped short. “Ymir?” He questioned, recognizing her as one of the nurses from their trainee days.

She nodded in return, hand reflexively reaching for her knife.

He turned his gaze to the cart, seeing an unconscious Krista in the back. His eyes widened, surprised that the future queen was someone they had all known.

“Is she ok?” He asked, growing concerned for how the plan would play out.

“She’s fine, I’m only cooperating if she remains unharmed.” Ymir answered, which made Eren wonder if that was how Zeke was controlling her, like he was with Eren and Mikasa.

“Historia will be fine. She won’t even feel a thing.” Zeke reassured them, stepping up beside the pair. “We are going to influence the people to accept her as queen since the royal family is dead. She’s of royal blood so I cannot manipulate her mind so that’s what Ymir is for.”

“Why? What influence does Ymir hold over her?” Eren was absolutely clueless to the nature of their relationship and assumed it was possibly the result of a power that Ymir had.

Zeke and Ymir exchanged glances.

“She’s attention starved and vulnerable. Zeke wanted me to exploit that need for love so she would do anything to please me.” Ymir answered, mouth twisting into a scowl. She didn’t hide her distaste for him. Regardless of if he saved her ass from getting killed, she didn’t owe him anything. She lived for herself and that was it. She only went along with the plan because she cared about Historia and wouldn’t let him hurt her.

“Why don’t you just take the throne yourself?” Eren asked, wondering why Zeke would bother with all of that when he had royal blood himself.

“I still have to play double agent back in Marley. This is the only way to use my influence in both places.” The answer made sense and even as they spoke, Reiner and Bertolt were still standing in the distance, unaware of the betrayal.

“So are you in agreement?” Zeke turned to Eren again. Eren nodded, grabbing onto his brother’s arm.

The scene around them shifted into something else entirely, sky growing dark and a pillar of light illuminating everything in the distance, branches of light spanning out from the top like a tree over the sky. A lone small child stood in the distance, face blank and devoid of emotion.

“Who is that?” Eren asked, letting go of his half brother’s arm to approach the child.

“Ymir, the first to develop power unnatural to other humans.” Zeke explained, images shifting around them to show Ymir as she had been as a child. “She was just a servant of the king and didn’t seem like anything special. She was sentenced to death for a crime she didn’t commit and when they went to execute her, she cheated death and lived. They killed her over and over and could not understand her power. She was used by the king, he had her attack other nations to gain wealth and power until one day she decided to take her own life, the only thing left of her here. Forever a slave to the royal family’s whims.”

The images played out around them, flashing the unfortunate circumstances that the poor girl endured in a grim and painful existence. Eren felt a tug at his heart for her, angry at those that had mistreated her. He didn’t want to let anyone who had powers to be treated like that again.

“Both Eldians and Marleyans treat those with abilities as less than human.” Eren observed, wondering for a moment who really was right in the situation. Who even deserved to live?

“That’s why we need to change things. We aren’t monsters, we need to make them see that they are.” Zeke insisted, turning to face the hollow shell of Ymir. He told her the instructions, to change the course of time and to influence the people of Paradis to accept Historia as queen.

Eren watched the scene, feeling blank and hollow as well. It was only a matter of time before Zeke realized Eren double crossed him and all hell would break lose. He needed to be prepared to defend his friends if they were forced to reveal themselves. He felt a sick feeling rise in his stomach, the effect of Zeke’s request taking effect once Ymir turned to the tree of light. The connection was felt across all Eldians, memories being replaced with the notion that Historia was the rightful queen, the only living heir to the throne.

Their surroundings faded back to normal and the trees returned, the ground solid beneath their feet.

As reality faded back into focus, several things became apparent to Eren. His brother looked at him with a dark, furious expression, a sure sign that the other team had been successful in their mission to destroy the lab. The other thing to note was that Reiner and Bertolt had transformed and were standing behind Zeke, ready to attack if need be.

“I’m disappointed, Eren. You don’t have the strength to accomplish things in the way they need to be done. You are useless just like our father.”Though Eren was valuable, his powers were too dangerous to be in opposition to Zeke. He motioned for Reiner and Bertolt to advance and Eren lifted his hand, biting down.

————

The rest of the squad was tasked with heading in to the lab, the front of which looked like a regular pub, the same one that Zeke had initially met Eren in. When squad Levi entered the room, a hushed silence fell over the patrons, all eyes focusing in on the obvious appearance of military personnel.

“Can I help you?” A blonde androgynous woman stood behind the bar, casually polishing a glass. Hange leaned against the bar, a unnerving grin on her face.

“Could you point us in the direction of the secret lab?” She asked, watching as the bartender lowered the glass slowly.

“Eren told you.” She looked over Hange’s shoulder to the other patrons on the pub, all of them rising to their feet and drawing guns out to aim at the Survey Corps members.

“We out number you.” The bartender, named Yelena, pulled her own gun out to aim at Hange.

“You have numbers but we have a Levi.” Hange countered, signaling to the rest of the group. They fired off signal flares in the room, filling it with smoke. Gunfire sounded, but they couldn’t see to aim. It was a gamble but the smoke gave them the best advantage with the small group to sneak attack under the haze of smoke.

Throughout the smoke, Levi’s squad rolled to the floor and made their way to the back room. Just before they all disappeared behind the door, they threw a couple grenades out to at the very least do some critical damage.

The explosion rocked the building but wasn’t enough to knock down walls.

“Everyone ok?” Hange checked, her question met with nods from the group.

They ventured down into the depths of the building, Connie and Sasha guarding the rear in case any soldiers made it down to them from the pub and Jean and Levi watched out as Hange checked the rooms until they found what they were looking for.

“Levi, you should see this.” Hange pushed the door open to one of the rooms. There was a man, strapped down to a table with multiple wounds, like he had been clawed at by wild animals. He appeared to be middle aged and had longish hair and a beard, but he was unmistakable to Levi. His eyes widened as he took in the badly injured form of the man who raised him, who taught him how to live in the harsh underbelly of the city.

“Kenny.” Levi said, shocked by the appearance of the man. Especially considering how unstoppable Kenny had been, how ruthless, to see him struggling to breathe and attached to tubes and wires like a sick science experiment was enough to make Levi’s blood boil.

“What the hell are they doing to him?” He asked, turning to Hange, desperate for her to find an explanation for him. Hange quickly grabbed the papers near by, flipping through them to get the gist of the work being done.

“Kenny Ackerman, he’s being used to develop the serum.” Hange explained, realizing that the man was part of the same clan as Mikasa. One man would certainly not be enough to produce the volume they needed for the number of Eldians in Paradis.

“Ackerman?” Levi froze, starting at the unconscious man. “His last name was Ackerman?”

Hange nodded in response, putting the papers down again. “It seems so.”

“He’s my uncle.” Levi said, turning to face Hange. Kenny was the closest thing he had to a father figure growing up and even though he abandoned Levi and was an irredeemable bastard, it didn’t sit well with him that Kenny would meet an end like that.

“Wait, that means you are an Ackerman too?” Hange paled, suddenly realizing just how much trouble they were in. “We need to get out of here. Now.” If they got a hold of Levi, they would drain him until he was dead too. It was only a matter of time before they would also need Mikasa. Even then, only a portion of the population would be able to benefit from a stabilized formula.

Levi hesitated before raising his gun and shooting Kenny to put him out of his misery. The man’s body slumped forward, lifeless.

Hange placed her hand on Levi’s shoulder in comfort. “I’m sorry.”

Levi shook his head, his eyes sad even though he didn’t let his voice betray him. His tone was steady as always. “Let’s blow this place up.”

Hange agreed and went to work on setting up the bomb they had brought along, setting the timer. They only had ten minutes to get out before it became a suicide mission.

They moved to leave the room when a hurried knock sounded at the door. Jean had given the signal that they weren’t alone.

“Just a second.” Hange moved to grab a hand full of the serums and stuffed them into her bag before joining Levi in exiting the room. The scene that met them in the hallway was chaos. Connie was holding a fallen Sasha, blood flowing from her thigh as she cried into his shoulder in pain. Jean stood over them and was firing rounds down the hall at the approaching soldiers.

“How are we getting out of here?” He asked in panic, realizing he may have signed up to die on this mission. There was always the potential they could, but they had been cornered between a bomb and an oncoming threat.

“There’s another exit.” Levi spoke up, moving to Jean’s side to join him in firing at the enemy. “We need to get moving if we want to make it far enough to avoid the blast range.”

“But what about Sasha?” Connie asked, tears in his eyes. They couldn’t leave her there. She didn’t deserve to die abandoned by her comrades.

“Can you carry her, Connie?” Hange asked, from her place sheltering behind the door. “If you can handle it, then we can make it.”

Connie nodded, turning to offer his back to her. “Come on, Sasha, we’ll get you meat if we make it out of here alive.” Sasha quickly grabbed on, tightly wrapping her arms around Connie’s neck. Connie choked a little before hoisting her up enough to relieve the pressure.

Levi and Jean kept guarding them and keeping the enemy back with their gunfire while the other three snuck back towards the rear of the building.

Levi stepped hard on some floor boards when they were far enough back and broke through them to reveal a hidden passage below. “Underground tunnels used for black market trading. They should lead us into the city.”

“Sometimes I’m so glad you were a criminal.” Hange commented in admiration, helping Connie lower Sasha down into the tunnels before they jumped down after. Jean ran out of bullets and looked to Levi.

“I’m out.”

“Go, I’ll hold them off.” Levi moved forward, continuing to take out soldiers while Jean slipped down into the tunnel. It was dark and cramped, barely large enough for Jean to walk through.

“Levi is still up there?” Hange looked up, brow furrowed in concern. She moved to climb back up but Jean stopped her.

“Erwin said you’re next up for Commander if something happens to him. We can’t have you getting killed.” Jean said, encouraging her to move forward with the rest of them.

Levi was the most capable man Hange knew so she trusted in him and lead the other three further into the abyss of black. When the explosion finally came, rubble rushed into the tunnels, the force knocking them all down.

It took a moment to recover from the blast, all of their heads spinning. A muffled cough sounded within the rubble and Hange and Jean tore through the rubble to pull Levi out from the wreckage, looking a little worse for wear. He was covered in cuts and scrapes and Hange was pretty sure he had some shrapnel embedded in him from the blast.

“I’ll carry him.” Jean offered but Hange shook her head.

“No, let me. You make sure Connie and Sasha can make it out.” Hange bent down and picked up Levi carefully, trying not to jostle him too much in case there were worse wounds.

It seemed like they walked for ages until they came across some light, finding an exit into the street. They found a cart nearby and placed Levi and Sasha in it, ready to wheel them away, when they heard a click behind them.

“You ruined it.” Yelena stood, bloodied and favoring an injured leg. “You’ll pay.” She shot a bullet into Hange’s shoulder, knocking her down.

Before any of them could react, Sasha lifted her own firearm and shot Yelena, a deadly hit.

Connie and Jean looked over at her in shock.

“Meat.” She insisted, voice strained with exertion.

————

Even transformed, Eren wasn’t able to take on both Reiner and Bertolt himself, but he didn’t plan to. They had devised a plan to divide and conquer and hopefully they would be a success. Luckily it didn’t seem like Ymir was anxious to get involved, her primary objective only to protect Historia.

The transformation was the signal and his friends came out of their hiding spots. Mikasa took on Reiner, luring him towards a spot that they had set up explosives, hoping they could break through his armor that way.

Armin had a very different approach planned, using his skills in psychological manipulation to distract Bertolt. He landed in front of him, raising his voice so that the mutant would hear. “Bertolt, I bet you would like to know what happened to Annie.”

Bertolt seemed to freeze in place, his eyes darting down to Armin. He knew Armin was just trying to mess with him, but he also had no idea what had actually happened to her. He didn’t really trust Zeke, even if he had said she was safe.

“We’re torturing her for information. She’s tough but she still screams.” Armin felt terrible for saying such a thing, especially because the truth was already so terrible. He knew he was getting somewhere though, Bertolt was distracted.

A large, flaming arm came down at Armin and Armin jumped, using his gear to fly away into a tree, but Bertolt kept coming after him, spreading wild fires along the way.

A large blast sounded, the bombs going off around Reiner, the force blasting off armor and limbs. Mikasa was thrown back from the blast herself, although she had been out of range for most of the damage.

Bertolt turned towards the sound, realizing too late that Armin had been drawing him away from protecting Reiner. He left the blond alone and headed in the direction of Reiner, cursing himself for losing focus.

Once she shook off the force from the blast, Mikasa leapt to her feet and approached Reiner, his mutant form fading into that of a man again, not having enough energy to regenerate fast enough to fight.

She kicked him down on his front, lifting her blade to slice through the back of his neck when the rumbling of Bertolt’s steps sounded. She looked up, realizing that he was too close and he readied a flame ball to throw at her. Before she could get out of harms way, Eren jumped in front of her and ran towards Bertolt, uncaring if the flames burned his flesh.

Armin took the opportunity, determined not to feel useless. He jumped into the air and sliced through the back of Bertolt’s neck, delivering the fatal blow, despite the flames catching on to his uniform, melting away flesh and fabric. He screamed, the pain searing him so badly he felt every nerve ending on fire, the pain excruciating.

Both Mikasa and Eren reacted to the sound, abandoning their tasks to go to Armin’s side. Bertolt fell, the life fading from him as he returned to his normal form.

Armin was on the ground, skin charred and burned, completely unrecognizable. Mikasa started crying, afraid to touch him but wanting to help. He seemed beyond what help medical professionals could provide.

While all of that was happening, Erwin Smith approached Zeke, hoping to negotiate. Erwin opened his mouth to introduce himself but Zeke held up his hand.

“I know who you are and what you want. We want similar things but the means we are willing to take to get there are different.” Zeke smirked, pausing. “But not by much. The blood on your hands is impressive.”

“They sacrificed their lives for a cause they believed in.” Erwin clarified, not willing to be lumped into the same group with that maniac. “I may be a devil but I always give them the choice.”

“Do they have a choice? I know they don’t have a choice to disobey me, but don’t you hold your own power over them?” Zeke’s talking was a diversion, Erwin not picking up on the movement behind him until the claws burst through his midsection like a skewer. Blood bubbled up out of his mouth as he fell to his knees.

Zeke leaned over him, watching the life leave him. “One devil to another, you will never have the power to save humanity... I do.”

Ymir withdrew her claws from Erwin and looked at Zeke with loathing. “Leave now. The damage is done here. Bertolt is already dead too.”

Zeke nodded, looking over at the group standing over Armin’s charred body. Reiner was still struggling to gain his strength back, but he lunged at Mikasa and Eren when he realized his friend had been defeated.

“Reiner, no.” Zeke ordered, sending him flying backwards. He approached his brother, one last offer on the table. “I’ll cure him.” He motioned to Armin. “But I need one last thing from you, Eren.”

Eren faded back into his human form, eyes blazing with anger and despair. He needed Armin to be alive, it didn’t matter the cost. “What’s that?”

“You will receive a letter from me, you will have to carry out the instructions.” Zeke pulled a syringe from his jacket and bent down to administer the serum to Armin.

Eren reluctantly agreed, Armin’s life taking precedence at the moment. He knew he would likely regret that decision later.

With their deal sealed, Zeke left with Reiner, leaving them to deal with the aftermath. Armin’s body slowly started to regenerate itself, the burns fading away into healthy skin once more.

“Eren, you shouldn’t have made a deal with him.” Mikasa whispered, though she was relieved to watch Armin heal.

“I know.” Eren acknowledged his weakness solemnly.

————

Something had happened, Levi sat straight on the stretcher before nurses insisted that he lay back down. He reluctantly allowed them to push him back down into a horizontal position, but his heart was racing and his instincts were in high alert. Something was wrong. He was being rushed into surgery, a mask lowering onto his face before he could register what had occurred.

It was hours before he woke and the message was relayed to him, Erwin Smith was found dead. Though every comrades’ death was meaningful and a great loss, Erwin’s death was a blow to Paradis and quite personally, Levi. His life had been forever changed after joining the Corps. He suffered through his grief alone, until he was discharged out and sent back to their base. He knew he was ordered to rest and recover but he was never one to listen when it came to sitting still.

He found himself in front of Hange’s room after dinner, nudging the door open and poking his head inside to see how she was doing. She was still asleep when he found her and he sat on the edge of her bed, quietly lost in his thoughts until he felt her stirring next to him.

She blinked sleepy eyes, her vision blurry due to the lack of glasses. She blindly reached around, feeling for the necessary item. Levi grabbed the glasses off the side table and placed them on her face for her.

She sighed, grateful to have her vision restored. She took in the sight before her, taken aback by Levi’s appearance, dressed casually in a simple crisp white shirt and black pants, bandages visibly wrapped around his body from the spots they had removed shrapnel. Even his face had been scratched up, stitches here and there.

“What are you doing here? You should be resting.” She wondered, reaching out to gently touch his stitches. They were neatly done at least and shouldn’t heal too badly.

Levi didn’t flinch away from her touch, just let her do what she wanted. His eyes were dark and downcast, like there was a storm brewing in his irises.

“I’m going to kill Zeke Yeager.” He announced, straightforwardly getting to the point.

Hange sighed, brow furrowed in concern. “I know, I feel the same. If we had been there, then maybe-“

“No.” Levi lifted his hand up and placed it over Hange’s, enjoying the warmth of her skin on his cheek. “It doesn’t do any good to think that way.”

She knew he was right, they had countless missions that had gone south and there was nothing that could be done about it. Heaping guilt on themselves only held them back from moving forward. For Erwin, it would be best to continue on with his goals, that was the best way to honor his memory.

Realizing she had been lost in her thoughts and still touching Levi’s face, she felt her cheeks warm and she tried to pull her hand back. She knew how uncomfortable he usually was with affection. “Sorry.” She blurted out, embarrassed.

Levi didn’t let go of her hand though, keeping it in place. Her eyes widened, at a loss for words.

“How is your shoulder?” His eyes traveled to the patched up shoulder just barely visible from under the collar of her shirt.

Flustered, Hange sunk further into the bed, feeling exposed under his intense scrutiny. “Fine, I should be back up in no time.”

Levi didn’t seem to approve of the answer. He finally let go of her hand. “Don’t force yourself too soon. Sasha’s leg has to heal and I’m not much better.”

She nodded, hiding her hand back under the covers. It was unusual to have this much attention from such a stoic man, it was nice.

A quiet settled over them for a moment before even Levi looked uncomfortable.

“I should go.” He muttered, moving to stand.

“You could stay.” The words left her before she even thought about them. She was the new Commander, she shouldn’t be asking such things. Levi froze, watching her in silent contemplation.

She wasn’t as much of a rule follower as Erwin and they hadn’t done anything selfish in a very long time.

Without answering, Levi sunk back down and laid down next to her. He closed his eyes, feeling the weight of exhaustion suddenly hit him. Maybe he did need rest after all.

The presence was comforting and Hange closed her eyes too, ready to fall back into her own slumber.

————

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a question for you guys regarding the future chapters if you could let me know what you think in the comments. I have already written some upcoming parts of future chapters and an epilogue that have a more mature rating. Would you guys prefer I change the rating and post them as they are or keep the Teen rating and edit them appropriately? Just trying to figure out who my audience is and what would be better received. Thanks for reading!


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is rated M for sexual situations.

The following morning Eren headed downstairs, lured forward by the scent of something delicious cooking downstairs. His stomach grumbled, reminding him that he hadn’t eaten much since the battle. There had been too much to take in: the death of the commander, the death of Bertolt and Armin’s near demise. Not only that, but the promise he made to do whatever Zeke wished was causing him unease. It had been a stupid decision but he wasn’t sure he would have changed anything if he had given himself the opportunity to do it all over.

He was so lost in his thoughts that he barely paid attention to where he was going, bumping into Levi as he exited Hange’s room.

It took a moment for Eren to register what just occurred, his eyes flicking towards Hange’s door and back to Levi. It wasn’t that odd to see them visit each other’s room but it was awfully early for discussing strategy. Unless he had actually spent the night. Eren almost laughed at the absurdity of that, except for Levi looked startled and like he had just been caught doing something he shouldn’t.

The silence hung in the air, neither quite sure how to rectify the situation.

“Sorry.” Eren mumbled,shuffling to the side to continue on his way as if nothing happened.

Levi actually snorted softly, sounding amused. Eren looked at him in disbelief.

“Watch where you are going, Yeager. And don’t think this makes it ok to sneak in to the girls room.” He warned, moving past Eren to the direction of his own room. Eren’s jaw dropped open, wondering what that had been all about. Hange and Levi?

Shaking off that weird line of thought, he continued downstairs and into the kitchen.

Mikasa was cooking some bacon in a pan and chopping vegetables, blowing her bangs out of her face as she worked. Eren moved over and tucked her hair behind her ear, Mikasa pausing in her chopping to look at Eren. Their faces were pretty close, Eren hadn’t even thought about that when he acted.

He stepped back quickly, adverting his gaze from her beautiful face. Everything between them had gotten awkward, the automatic touches they always shared lingering too long and their underlying feelings becoming hard to resist.

“Can you grab Jean for me?” Mikasa asked, immediately breaking the awkwardness.

Eren scowled. “Good morning to you too.”

Mikasa rolled her eyes, turning to Eren and wiping her hands on her apron. “He’s better at making omelettes than I am and if I don’t get breakfast up to Sasha soon, she’s going to start crawling down the stairs.”

Mikasa wasn’t wrong, Sasha was probably going crazy from the smell of the frying meat.

Begrudgingly, Eren trudged back up the stairs and into the boys room to fetch Jean, who seemed entirely too eager to help Mikasa in the kitchen.

“Hey, Eren.” Armin stepped up to Eren after the room was left with just the two of them. “Are we telling Levi and Hange that I was given a serum yet?”

“No.” Eren replied, frowning. He wasn’t happy with the way that Armin had to be saved, but it had been the only choice. “If anyone knows about you, there will be another target on your back. Don’t manifest your powers and you will be safer.”

Armin sighed, not entirely convinced with Eren’s line of reasoning. He was sure he could be useful too.

“We should work on a strategy to convince Historia and Ymir to follow our plan.” Armin suggested, deciding to put to use his mind at the very least. “And build up our relationship with other countries, we will need back up if there really is a war on Paradis.”

Eren seemed distracted when he nodded, like he wasn’t really listening to Armin. “Yeah, we should do that.” He muttered his reply, a far off look in his eyes. Armin knew the difference, that Eren wasn’t really agreeing, but Eren had been really fading in and out of being distant and weird lately. One minute he would seem like their friend again and the next, he would seem like was far off from them.

Armin didn’t pry, even though he was curious as to what was going on. Eren had been through a lot and likely just had a lot of baggage. “We should go to breakfast, it smells good.” Armin changed the subject and tugged on Eren’s arm. The physical signal was enough to break Eren from his thoughts and he followed Armin downstairs.

————

There was a lull in action, giving them plenty of time for injuries to recover and for plans to be made. The alliance with the new queen, Historia and with Ymir, who never left her side, was easy to make. The people of Paradis took to Historia and loved her, praised her as a queen. She found more fulfillment in starting a better orphanage, one that was more kind to the children. They assisted her from time to time, wishing for a better future for the younger generations.

Squad Levi was assigned as a special operations unit, their successes in taking down enemies and protecting Paradis gaining them favor among the people.

Eren became more and more distant, barely participating when efforts to make alliances with other countries were made. It wasn’t a very successful endeavor anyway, too many still afraid of the reputation of Eldians to trust them.

Eren received the letter from Zeke after a year of drawing away from his friends. The message was simple, it didn’t hold much in the way of details. It was likely that Zeke didn’t trust him enough to divulge any more.

It was a beacon, calling him to Marley.

So he suggested it, an undercover mission to Marley to gather intel and see if it was worth negotiations or if they ought to gather information to plan war on Marley.

It was met with a positive response and they had boarded a ship across the sea before long, their first venture across the ocean.

Armin wretched violently over the side of the ship, the ocean he so desperately wanted to see when he was younger taking its ugly revenge in the form of seasickness. Jean pat him on the back, eyeing him with pity. Some had taken to sea a lot easier than others. Armin was the worst case, but it seemed that the Ackerman duo wasn’t immune to it either.

Mikasa had looked a little green when they had gotten out to rougher waters and Levi was more irritable than usual. Hange teased him about looking slightly constipated for the last few hours and Levi had literally broken a handle off a teacup after a particularly large wave caused the ship to rock. Eren adapted to the sea surprisingly well, getting his sea legs quicker than the rest of them. Jean claimed he was using his time magic to slow down the rocking only for him.

Connie and Sasha had gotten involved in a card game with the crew that they were losing miserably at when Eren had escaped to the deck to be alone, the sounds of the waves crashing and the winds howling a calming sound to his chaotic mind.

“Eren.” Her voice sounded behind him and he turned, seeing Mikasa stumble over to him, her legs wobbling a bit as if she were drunk.

Eren couldn’t help the smallest, fond smile at her awkward movements, since it was so unusual to see her as anything less than perfect. A large wave knocked into the boat and sent her flying forward. Eren caught her, helping her to steady herself again.

“It’s not fair, how are you not sliding around?” Mikasa asked, eyeing him with suspicion.

“Must be one of my unknown powers.” He answered, wrapping an arm around Mikasa’s waist to keep her anchored to him in case more waves knocked her over.

She blushed at the hold, recognizing they had gotten themselves into one of those positions again where they were too close for comfort.

They were quiet for a while, just standing and occasionally knocking against each other with gusts of wind and rocking seas almost daring them to get closer.

“Why are you out here? It’s safer in the cabins.” She was showing concern for him again, mothering him. It had stopped bothering him long ago, a quiet acceptance setting in every time she worried over him.

“They’re too small.” Eren answered, staring out at the sea and the endless horizon of blue before them. Mikasa had to admit that it was one of the most beautiful things she had ever seen. She rest her hands on Eren’s chest, beginning to feel her stomach settle.

“Claustrophobic?” She asked, remembering Armin reference the term once.

Eren nodded, squeezing his arm around her as she knocked into him again.

“Where will you sleep?” The question hung in the air but Mikasa already knew the answer. He hadn’t been sleeping, the dark circles growing each day. He hadn’t told any of them about Zeke’s request or his plan and they were better off not knowing. They would only be in harms way the more they chased after him.

“We should get you in bed, you’ll probably get sick if you stay out here.” Eren grabbed her hand and decided to lead her down to the cabins. She was sharing a room with Sasha, who would likely not return until later.

Mikasa drew him close when they were at her door, inspecting the dark circles and exhaustion weighing down on him. He didn’t look well and it even looked like he had lost weight.

Eren shifted under her scrutiny, feeling naked and exposed and he didn’t like it.

“Stay with me. I’ll help you sleep.” She whispered, though the invitation sounded far more suggestive then she had intended.

Eren went rigid, heart beating faster. Realizing her mistake, Mikasa let go of him, shyly ducking her head. They hadn’t had such an awkward interaction in a long time, partially because Eren made efforts not to be alone with her anymore.

“I really should go. I need to get...air.” Eren darted away, leaving a disappointed Mikasa in his wake. She stared after him, heart aching. They weren’t as close anymore. She hardly even knew what he was thinking half the time. It was almost as if Eren had begun to shift into a new person. Sometimes there were flickers of the old Eren through the haze of his new apathetic and distant persona, but unfortunately it was becoming less and less common.

Sighing, Mikasa moved back to her tiny bunk and settled down, the sick feeling returning without Eren’s steadying arms to hold her.

————

Their first venture into Marley was one of awe for all of them, sights and smells unfamiliar to them greeting their senses. Though they had always fought the enemy, it had never been on their land.

The first sign of a car had Sasha and Connie debating over whether the strange object was a horse or a cow and Hange interrupted to declare it a car, though she didn’t seem to know exactly what that was, as she greeted the car as if it were a living thing.

The strange interactions were earning them stares already and Armin was already worried about the integrity of their cover.

“Let’s pretend we don’t know them.” Jean tugged his hat lower over his face, embarrassed over his comrades reactions.

“If we don’t stop them then they are going to try to feed it carrots.” Levi mumbled in annoyance, moving to go drag an overly inquisitive Hange away from the lump of iron, Connie and Sasha deciding to follow along now that the fun had been interrupted by a disgruntled Captain.

“Hey, Eren.” Mikasa looked over her shoulder at him, trying to get his attention even though his eyes held a vacant expression again. “Stay close to me, we don’t know what enemies may be around here.”

It took a few times calling his name for Eren to pay attention and he eventually managed a nod in recognition of her request.

Mikasa and Armin exchanged glances. It had happened again. Armin tried cheering Eren up by reminding him to enjoy his time outside of Paradis, like it was an adventure to be on the other side of the sea.

Nothing they did seemed to break him from his stupor. They offered him various treats and tried to prompt reactions from him,but were met with the smallest amount of reactions. He made Levi’s emotional range look like a roller coaster in comparison.

That was, until night fell.

The group had found some refugees that were willing to share their alcohol with them after they had rescued a kid from being punished for stealing. Though they were excited to have a break and enjoy themselves in a new land, Mikasa noticed Eren had gone missing.

He had wandered off from the rest of their group, heading down to the docks. The quiet was a place for him to explore his thoughts in peace. He knew how much his plan would take away the last of humanity in him. He gripped the railing in front of him, fighting back tears.

Still, she caught him crying as he stood, staring off into the distance with a silent cinema of destruction playing in front of his eyes only.

“Eren, what are you doing out here? You know it’s dangerous to be out here by yourself.” Mikasa said, approaching him and watching him with concern. “Eren?” She asked, searching his face for answers as she noted the tears and the vulnerability.

“Why do you care so much about me?” Eren implored, desperate to hear the answer aloud. After all that had happened, he had to know if Mikasa’s feelings were genuine or out of duty because of her Ackerman bond. “Is it because I saved you? Or because I’m family?”

There was another unspoken option that hung in the air that he dare not say. He didn’t deserve to ask that of her.

“Huh?” She was surprised at his question, reminded or the night Eren kissed her in the alley, he had asked a similar question then.

Eren stepped forward and she took a step back, heart racing.

The word family rose to the surface but she paused, reconsidering that option. If she said the wrong thing, it would just put her through more pain. They were beyond just being friends or family and denying that would be denying herself what she wanted for years.

Eren continued to step closer until she was backed against the wall of a building, the stones cold against her back.

“E-Eren...” she whispered, finally growing confident enough to reach out and grab the front of his shirt.

The action was permission enough for Eren to close the distance, his hands moved to rest on the wall on either side of her, his face inches from hers. They stared into each other’s eyes, searching for the answers they needed.

“What am I to you?” He prompted, breath ghosting over her skin. She shivered in response, feeling weak under the intensity of his gaze.

“Kiss me.” She demanded, blushing in spite of herself. She tugged him closer so he finally closed the distance, lips melding against hers. Her eyes closed in bliss, realizing how much she’d longed for the feeling ever since she had gotten a little taste.

Oh yes, they were much better at saying what they needed to with actions instead of words. Eren felt his resolve crumble as he gave himself over to his moment of weakness. All his hopes and dreams for the future were tied up in that moment.

He pressed fully against Mikasa, their bodies fitting together in a way that Mikasa could feel every line of his body, every muscle that had developed over years of training. She shuddered, lips parting to gasp aloud. Taking advantage, Eren slid his tongue past her lips to deepen the kiss.

Mikasa’s head was spinning with heat and feeling, her hands traveling from Eren’s chest to his strong shoulders. They were still on the street, hidden by shadows, but nonetheless vulnerable to curious stares at the best and attacks at the worst.

“W-wait...” she reluctantly turned her head aside, flushed and breathless. “We should go inside.” She said, before realizing the implication. Eren probably thought she was propositioning him.

Eren pressed his lips against her neck, taking a deep breath in of her familiar sweet scent, as well as leaving some kisses dotted across her skin. Mikasa swallowed, maybe she didn’t mind if Eren took it that way.

“Are you sure?” He asked, backing up enough to look into her eyes, giving her enough space to cool down in case she changed her mind.

Mikasa bit her lip, watching his emerald gaze, how it not only darkened with desire but it was still vulnerable, as if Eren expected her to tell him to get lost at any minute.

“I love you, Eren.” She declared, deciding to put him at ease. She wasn’t going anywhere.

Eren sucked in a breath, fresh tears coming to his eyes. He pulled Mikasa in again but this time to hug her tight. She smiled, wrapping her arms around him and gently running her hands up and down his back. She didn’t know what he was going through exactly but she knew it was taking a heavy toll on him.

“Mikasa, I don’t want to hurt you.” Eren choked out, shoulders shaking. “I want to do whatever I can to keep you safe.”

“Shh, it’s ok.” Mikasa soothed him, pulling away enough to place a chaste kiss on his lips. “I know you won’t hurt me.”

Eren sighed, looking pained at Mikasa’s reassurance. If only she knew what he had to do.

“Don’t keep me waiting anymore, Yeager.” She said playfully, stepping to the side and tugging him along with her. “I’ve waited long enough.”

He followed along, feeling powerless to her will. The conflict still ate away inside of him as she took him to her room. Their lips met again, hands roaming in ways they hadn’t allowed themselves before. As he slid her shirt down her shoulder, he bent his head to place a kiss over her heart. “I love you too, Mikasa.” He whispered against her skin, his breath hot. She felt her knees grow weak, clutching tighter onto him.

“Show me.” She demanded, eyes flashing with challenge. She wouldn’t let him back down this time, he would give her everything: heart, soul, mind and body.

They tumbled into bed, clothes shedding in haste, the desire to have every barrier removed taking over until they were skin to skin. The sensation of being so close, of Eren’s manhood pressing into her thigh, overwhelmed Mikasa with feeling. It was like every nerve ending was on fire and she couldn’t catch her breath between desperate kisses. Eren groaned into her mouth, their hips rolling together in a dance they had never experienced before.

The scarf was the last thing to come off, slipping from her neck onto the floor. Mikasa shivered, the cold air hitting her neck enough to bring her back to reality. It was really happening, Eren was going to be her first. Seeing her reaction to the cold, he took care to trail his lips down over the exposed skin of her neck, kissing and sucking at the flesh until it left marks. Mikasa’s breath came out in harsh pants, already feeling drunk on the attention and need building inside her. Her nails scraped against Eren’s shoulders and back, still unsure of what to do with them, even though she had been so eager to insist on their intimacy.

It didn’t seem to bother Eren though, diligently working his way down her body with his mouth and hands, greedily feeling the smooth planes of muscle and soft curves he had dreamed about. He wanted to take his time, imprinting every detail to memory. He caught a small pink nub of her nipple in his mouth and sucked while his hand slid up to cup the other breast, admiring the way the soft mound fit in his palm.

Mikasa gasped, back arching to encourage more, legs moving restlessly. She needed to touch him too, to make him feel the way she did. She rolled them over suddenly, settling back on his thighs, drinking in the sight of him. She ran her hands over his abs, giving in to the desire to touch all that she had admired. Her hand curiously wrapped around his length, the weight and feel so strange. Eren gave an appreciative groan, hips thrusting up in encouragement.

She moved her hand up and down, measuring the success of her movements by the noises she drew from him. His hand came down to guide her, to show her what he liked.

“Did you ever...” she blushed, swallowing hard. “Did you ever touch yourself while thinking of me?”

Half-lidded green eyes met hers as she shyly looked at him. A laugh escaped his lips, voice husky as he answered. “All the damn time.”

The answer was enough encouragement she needed. She lifted herself up and crawled forward, placing a soft kiss on his lips. He retuned it, wrapping his arms around her. She guided him into her, gasping into his mouth at the fullness she felt, maybe almost painfully so, but in a good way. She had to pause, taking a moment to acclimate.

Eren grit his teeth, his hands moving to steady her hips. He wanted so badly to move, to lose himself in the heat of her, but he knew the first time could be uncomfortable. She placed her hands on his chest, taking several deep breaths.

“Are you ok?” Eren breathed, kissing her forehead as he noticed her face scrunched in discomfort. She nodded, stormy grey eyes meeting his.

“I want this, with you...” She replied, rolling down on him. Eren struggled not to end things to early.

He wanted this to last forever. Reality be dammed.

He buried his face in her neck as they moved together, motions uncoordinated. He rolled them over again, sliding back in with her legs wrapped around his waist. They found their rhythm soon enough and Eren was quite sure whoever was on the other side of the hotel wall was going to get familiar with the sound of his name.

————

The next morning felt like a dream, the sun streaming in across Eren’s broad, tan shoulders as he laid next to Mikasa in bed. She smiled, watching his peacefully sleeping face. It was the first time in a long time she had seen him look like that.

Her heart skipped a beat as she recalled the night before, a blush blooming on her skin. She couldn’t believe she had been that forward with him but she was tired of dancing around each other for years. She didn’t regret anything.

He shifted next to her, eyes fluttering open as sunlight hit them. He groaned softly, rolling over to bury his face in Mikasa’s shoulder. She laughed, reaching to comb her fingers through his hair.

“Not much of a morning person,” she teased, placing a kiss on the top of his head.

Eren grunted softly before lifting his head, taking a good look at Mikasa. “Waking up means we have to leave bed sooner.” He said, eyes scanning her face, memorizing every beautiful detail. He was pretty sure a blushing, post sex Mikasa was the most beautiful he had ever seen her.

Mikasa’s face fell, her gaze moving to the clock on the wall. They needed to get up soon, he was right.

“I don’t want to.” She complained, pouting. It was unusual to see her act so childish and Eren snorted in amusement.

“Do you want to just run away?” He asked, suddenly turning serious.

She looked at him in surprise, wondering where that was coming from. It wasn’t like him, he was the most passionate about winning the war out of anyone she knew. Then again, he really hadn’t seemed like himself lately.

“You know you would never be satisfied to walk away, Eren.” She said, in all seriousness. “As much as I would love to, I know you will never be happy until you see this through to the end.”

And that was why Eren loved her, she saw right through him. He wished with all his heart that should could be wrong, that he could stay and be with her, but they both knew better.

He couldn’t help himself, moving to press his lips to hers in a kiss. They spent several minutes sharing gentle kisses before Mikasa rolled them over and declared that Eren would be totally satisfied with another round. Eren didn’t protest, although he doubted that one more time would ever be enough.

The least he could do was give her something memorable. He did everything he could to make her cries of pleasure louder than his cries of heartache.

————

It shouldn’t have come as a surprise to her when she saw him turn to leave and walk away from her again, she herself had said it.

_I know you will never be happy until you see this through to the end._

She couldn’t help it though, her heart broke in that moment, realizing that she was once more that little girl who felt cold and lost, without a home or a family.

The trip back to Paradis was the most uncomfortable one they had ever experienced. The whole team was shaken by Eren’s disappearance but Mikasa was inconsolable. She stayed isolated in her cabin the entire trip home, crying and refusing to eat. They took turns stationed outside her door, just to make sure that she made a muffled sound every once and a while to know she was still alive.

————


	16. Chapter 16

Mikasa hadn’t been feeling right for days. She had been lightheaded and queasy and as a result, had been an emotional mess. No one could blame her, for the way that Eren left her had crumbled down all her walls and it had been weeks of being emotionally distraught. They tried comforting her best they could, but not even Armin, Sasha or Historia could help her with her heartbreak.

“I’ll punch his face in when I see him next.” Jean said, his fist hitting his palm as he watched Mikasa lifeless stare into the distance, not touching her food.

“What kind of asshole just ditches everyone like that.” Connie agreed, also pissed off at the hot headed comrade turned traitor.

“She won’t even eat and when she does she throws up.” Sasha said, and knowing how Sasha felt about food, she thought that was the worst fate ever.

Armin sighed, unable to disagree with his friends that the situation was dire. Mikasa was looking really sick and she had never neglected to take care of herself like that before. “I’m going to get Hange to do an examination on her.” He said, pushing back from the table. “Sasha, can you get Mikasa to come to the infirmary?”

Sasha nodded, stuffing her last piece of food in her mouth before she kept up to grab her friend. Mikasa looked up as Sasha approached, eyes still dull and hollow

“Mikasa, you need to get an examination from Hange. We’re all worried about you.” The girl’s concern was genuine but Mikasa was going to be stubborn. She shook her head and moved to stand up.

“I’m fin-“ Mikasa’s voice died out in her throat as black overtook her vision and she passed out. Sasha yelled for help, quickly grabbing the other girl before she hit the ground.

—————

When Mikasa came to again, she was on an infirmary bed with an IV drip hooked up to her arm. She saw the back of Hange’s head and muffled whispers, the other voice sounding like Levi’s. She groaned softly, lifting her hand to her pounding head. She had a migraine.

“Oh, you’re awake!” Hange turned and tried to shoo Levi away but he didn’t budge. He looked pissed off, but that wasn’t unusual for him so Mikasa dismissed it.

“How are you feeling?” Hange moved over to the bed and started checking on Mikasa’s vitals.

“Like my head is going to explode.” She replied, voice quiet and eyes squeezing shut to block out the light. Hange looked down at her with pity.

“Mikasa... I took the liberty of running some tests while you were out.” Mikasa opened her eyes again, unease settling in her stomach at how serious Hange’s tone was.

Seeing that she had Mikasa’s attention, Hange prepared herself to tell her the news. “Normally I would be happy to tell you this, but considering the current circumstances...” Then Hange paused, placing her hand under her chin in a contemplative gesture. “Well, that is, if my assumptions are correct anyway.” She mumbled the last bit under her breath.

“Out with it, Hange.” Levi said, breaking the silence.

“You’re pregnant, Mikasa.” Hange finally said, looking solemn as she said it.

Mikasa’s eyes widened, looking between Hange and Levi in disbelief. A rush of emotions came at her, overwhelming her already pounding head. She didn’t really know how to feel.

“Do you know who the father is?” Hange questioned, but it was clear she already knew the answer to that.

“Don’t pry. The kid doesn’t have to tell you that.” Levi interrupted, stepping forward to put a hand on Hange’s shoulder.

Hange nodded, mumbling an apology.

“It’s Eren’s.” Mikasa answered, tears coming to her eyes. She wasn’t sure she had any left so it was a surprise to feel the drops of water rolling down her cheeks.

Levi’s eyes narrowed, his gaze seeming to promise to murder that arrogant asshole, Eren Yeager. Hange’s brow furrowed, her suspicions confirmed.

“Do you...want to keep it?” She asked, hesitating on the question, knowing how much a baby could impact not only Mikasa’s health and ability to act as a soldier but also the relationship between her and Eren was strained at best with his disappearance.

Mikasa’s eyes flashed, her fingers immediately gripping the blanket on her lap. “Of course!” She softened a little bit, moving one of her hands over her stomach. “It’s all I have of him right now.”

“Of course.” Hange smiled, grabbing Levi’s arm to drag him out with her to give Mikasa a moment alone.

Mikasa smiled softly, rubbing her belly. “Hello, little one.” She greeted, glad to know that she wasn’t alone anymore. She would start taking care of herself again, having a renewed reason to live.

—————

She had decided to keep the news to herself at first but it was obvious something was up when she spent more of her time in her room than keeping her body in top condition for battle. Before they started speculating that she was dying, she figured she should come forward with the truth.

She gathered them up in a group to announce it, dressed in a loose fitting dress and her signature red scarf. She still hadn’t given up on Eren so she would continue to hold on to it.

“I have an announcement to make.” She said, trying to shake away the nerves. She hoped the news would make them as happy as it made her. Once she had gotten used to the idea, she had felt something shift inside her and she had started taking up sewing, patching together scraps of fabric to make a baby blanket.

Everyone was looking at her, awaiting the news.

“I’m pregnant.” She finally revealed, placing a hand over the small bump that was hidden under the layers of clothing. “I wanted to wait until I got past the first trimester to say anything...”

“Oh, Mikasa!” Sasha squealed, running over to hug her friend. “I’m so happy for you!” She cried, tears actually falling down her cheeks.

Mikasa felt a smile touch her lips, overjoyed that she could finally tell her friends. Armin smiled at her, but there was something sad about his gaze, because he already put the pieces together and figured out that the father was missing from their group.

“What?” Connie’s jaw dropped, shocked by the news. “But then whose the fath- ow!”

Jean stepped on his foot under the table to stop that line of questioning. “Not important right now.” He whispered to his clueless comrade.

“Congratulations, Mikasa.” Armin moved to hug her as well.

“Can you feel the baby move yet?” Sasha asked curiously, reaching to touch the baby bump.

“Not much yet.”

The two girls continued to talk about the baby while Jean internalized all his turmoil. They had always suspected that things were going on between Mikasa and Eren but to have the evidence of their love growing inside Mikasa was something Jean was totally unprepared for. He gave Mikasa a weak congratulations before he excused himself to collect his thoughts.

He knew he never had a chance, but it really never seemed fair. Time and time again Eren hurt her and even though his pointless fights with Eren were usually over stupid things, Jean really had a problem with him now.

It wasn’t until after dinner that he actually got the guts to say anything real to Mikasa. She was sitting outside under a tree with a blanket over her lap, stitching threads in neat little rows. Jean sat down next to her, observing that some of the patches on the blankets held names of fallen comrades. His fingers brushed over the name of Marco Bodt.

“You saved these?” He questioned, sure that most of them had been burned or buried in mass graves after their first battle.

“I have saved a few, not necessarily from the uniforms they passed away in but I asked for the spares. I think that if you keep them alive in your memories then they aren’t really gone.” Mikasa answered, pausing in her sewing to look over at Jean.

“I’m glad the baby will get to be surrounded by those that would have liked to meet him or her.” Jean said, feeling sentimental for the old days before everything had gone to hell. He even missed Eren, for as much as he wanted to punch him.

Mikasa sighed, nodding in agreement. The words were unspoken but it was already there. She wished he was here.

“Mikasa...” Jean started, nerves taking hold of him. “I want to say something and I hope you don’t take it the wrong way. I don’t want you to think I’m trying to take advantage of the situation or anything but I just want you to know I’m here for you.” He shifted his hand over to cover hers, holding it in his own. “I know you’re perfectly capable of taking care of the baby yourself but if...if he never comes back, I want you to know that I will be there for you if you need me. I would love you both like my own family.”

“Jean...” Mikasa grasped his hand in return, gaze soft as she turned to him.

Jean didn’t wait for the rejection, he still kept going. “I know you don’t think of me like that and I’m not asking you to.”

“Jean Kristein, are you proposing?” Mikasa asked, a hint of amusement in her voice.

He hadn’t blushed around her in a long time but he did at her question. “Yeah, I guess I am.”

She was quiet for a while, still holding on to his hand. “I’m not ready to give up on Eren but I know even if I did, I can’t let you do this to yourself. Jean, you’re a good man and you deserve a woman who can fully give her heart to you.” She squeezed his hand before letting go.

Jean nodded, heart sinking despite the answer being inevitable. He finally had closure. “Where do I find one of those?”

Mikasa laughed, the sound almost foreign from her since it had been so long since either had heard it. He was glad despite his own heartbreak that hers was healing due to the little ray of hope that she carried with her.

“We’ll put an ad out.” She replied, teasingly.

“You’re a cruel woman, Mikasa Ackerman.” Jean shook his head in amusement, feeling some of the tension melt away as they settled into talking and interacting like friends again.

————

The time flew by, her stomach growing and the seasons changing until it was nearing her due date. It was early spring and Mikasa was watching her friends fight over their chores, Connie and Sasha arguing until they had started a fight, attacking each other with flour handprints until the kitchen was regrettably covered in fine flour dust. Jean paled when he walked in to see his friends goofing around and Mikasa was just sitting at the table, hiding laughter behind her hand.

“Guys, the Captain will kill you.” Jean warned before he saw that Mikasa was really enjoying herself. He smiled fondly, glad she seemed like herself, possibly even happier than normal.

“There’s going to be a baby here soon. He should probably get used to the mess.” Armin chimed in as he moved into the room from behind Jean.

Mikasa rubbed her stomach, anticipating seeing her child for the first time. She had let go of the idea of Eren being there and it made things a little easier. They had all been so supportive that she felt more like family than she ever had and that was something special. It was like the absence of Eren allowed her to focus on and grow closer to those around her.

“Are you helping out at the orphanage today?” Armin asked, since she had started working there watching after the kids since she wasn’t allowed near anything dangerous, so anything military related was out of the question.

“As if I’m any help, I’m a whale now.” Though she was excited for her baby, Mikasa was more than a little uncomfortable at that point and it was starting to get annoying.

“I was going to say that you should make sure someone goes with you in case you go into labor. You really shouldn’t over exert yourself at this point.” Armin had taken to fussing over her, maybe as a way to take care of her in Eren’s absence, maybe because they were friends.

“All I do is read them stories and tell them not to eat paste.” Mikasa protested, not really seeing the big deal. It was preparing her to take care of her own child and she liked the kids. They called her Miss Mikasa and drew pictures for her.

“I’ll go with her.” Jean volunteered, hoping to give Mikasa a break from Armin. Mikasa smiled gratefully in his direction. They had also grown closer since Jean gave up on his crush on her and she was glad for it. He was good company now that they didn’t always have Eren around to start jealous fights with Jean.

Armin seemed to be satisfied with that, nodding. “Good, I’ll tell the Captain.”

“Ready?” Jean moved over to Mikasa and offered his arm. She took it and carefully slid off the stool she had been sitting on, releasing a small puff of air at the feeling of so much more weight on her body. She was grateful to have the help keeping her steady.

The trip to the orphanage was short, coming across the little farm where the kids were running around with each other.

“Miss Mikasa!” They squealed, running over to hug her legs. She smiled, reaching down to ruffle the hair of a few of them.

“What about me?” Jean interrupted with a mock frown.

The kids laughed and pointed at Jean. “Horse face!” They screamed, giggles following.

Jean suddenly remembered why he stopped going to visit the kids. Eren had gotten them all to call him horse face whenever they saw him. It was probably one of the last times Eren had done something to antagonize him and Jean couldn’t believe he actually missed it.

Mikasa joined in the giggles, hiding the laughter behind her hand. The sound was enough to make Jean smile, glad that Mikasa was still doing so well.

They laid a blanket down on the grass and Jean helped her sit so she could read stories to the kids. They seemed entertained for a while before curious questions started firing away at her.

“Miss Mikasa, when is your baby coming?” One of the children asked, with wide, curious eyes.

“Uh, any day now.” She replied, placing the book down in her lap. “Whenever he or she decides they are ready.”

“Why is the baby in your stomach? Did you eat him?” Another kid asked.

Jean stifled his laughter, watching Mikasa’s face twist into a frown.

“No, I didn’t eat any babies.” She paused, scrambling for an explanation. She remembered asking where babies came from when she was a kid and her parents reluctance to answer. She now understood why. That had been right before they were killed.

It was obvious there were other things going on in Mikasa’s mind so Jean decided to save her. He spotted Historia and Ymir coming over the hill and he leaned closer to the kids.

“Hey kids, why don’t you go ask Miss Historia and Ymir where babies come from.” He suggested, eyes flashing with mischief.

The kids thought it was a brilliant idea and they raced away to question them. Historia looked panicked when the children started questioning her and it was Ymir who saved the day, by actually telling the kids where babies came from. Historia hit her companion’s arm, shouting her name in chastisement.

Mikasa and Jean leaned against each other as they laughed at the interaction. Mikasa squeezed her hands on Jean’s arm, suddenly gasping and putting her hand to her stomach.

“Jean, I think it’s time.” His eyes widened in panic and he helped Mikasa back towards the wagon they had taken to the farm.

“We’ll head to the hospital, everything will be fine.” He tried to reassure her but he looked a bit like he was ready to pass out. Mikasa winced, the contractions lasting much longer than any she had before. She held on to Jean, trying to take slow, even breaths.

They couldn’t make it to a hospital so Jean brought Mikasa back to the infirmary at HQ and Hange helped to deliver the baby. At a loss for what to do and not wanting to leave Mikasa alone, Jean stayed by her side and leant her his hand again, even though he knew it would certainly be broken when she was through giving birth. He was going to make sure to break Eren’s hand in retaliation once he saw that bastard again.

Everything seemed like a blur, the pain and the screaming until her little cries sounded in the room. Mikasa was crying when they handed her the baby, her daughter. She had little black tufts of hair and beautiful green eyes, the same eyes as her father.

Mikasa was happy but the exhaustion, coupled with the heartbreak of not having Eren by her side for such an important occasion, forced her to give way to sobs that she tried to choke down. She didn’t want to react that way, her baby girl needed her. She faintly felt Jean hug her and tell her that it was ok, she was just tired. He took her daughter and Mikasa cried herself to sleep, completely exhausted.

————

They sat around the table, looking at the letter in silence. Mikasa was still recovering from giving birth and they had received the first letter from Eren, the first sign that he was alive and ok in Marley.

He was requesting their help, he was going to time and attack with an anti-Eldian conference that Marley was hosting.

Levi grabbed the letter, crumpling it in his hand and turning to look at the fireplace, contemplating the merits of throwing it out. He knew it wasn’t his place though.

“What should we do, Commander?” He asked Hange, watching as she put her head in her hands, sighing deeply.

“We should go.” Hange decided, dropping her hands. “We’ll get assistance from Hizuru, since they are the only ones who will provide us with help.”

“What if it’s a trap?” Levi asked, feeling the need for caution. None of them could afford to trust Eren again.

“Regardless, it’s to our advantage to gain an asset like Eren back again.” Armin interjected, knowing he was reducing his friendship with Eren to something strategical. It was where they stood, as far as he was concerned. He still cared about Eren but he couldn’t say he completely trusted him.

Hange seemed to agree with Armin and they discussed a plan on retrieving Eren from Marley. The conference was still a few months away so they had time to prepare themselves.

————


	17. Chapter 17

The news of Eren’s letter didn’t make it to Mikasa right away, since what little energy she had was spent taking care of Emi, her precious baby girl. She wasn’t much of a fussy baby, she was pretty quiet and curious, just taking her time to observe the world and soak it in.

Her comrades absolutely loved playing with her. She didn’t do much yet, just being a newborn, but she loved being held. Surprisingly, she loved Levi the most. She never cried for him, it was like magic. Whenever Emi was upset, Mikasa would hand her off to Levi and she would stop and stare at him with wide green eyes.

That’s what had been happening when they first told her about Eren’s letter. She had just handed Emi over to Levi when Hange gave her the letter. She read over the words, blank expression on her face. Eren was alive, which was good to know, and she could get to see him again, but somehow she still felt hollow.

Why hadn’t he reached out before then? It would be a full year when she would get to see him and after their last encounter she thought he would at least give a proper explanation.

“I should start training again, I’ve gotten too soft.” Mikasa finally said, laying the paper down.

“You aren’t going.” Levi said, while gently bouncing Emi in his arms. The effectiveness of his authority was completely lost with him being so sweet to the baby.

“I am.” Mikasa protested, frowning. “I’m a soldier, it’s my job. It’s my duty to protect Paradis just like any of you. I know I have a child but Historia said she could watch her if we are needed-“

“What Levi meant was...we think you may be too emotionally invested in Eren to think clearly.” Hange clarified, reaching over to take Mikasa’s hand. “We don’t know what his goal is so we may have to arrest him.”

Mikasa snatched her hand away, eyes narrowed. “He’s not the most important person in the world to me anymore.” She looked to Emi, watching her green eyes slowly lower in exhaustion. Levi shifted his hold on her, tucking her in against his shoulder. “I will do whatever I can to make this world a safe place for her. That’s my top priority.”

They seemed to consider her resolve for a moment before Levi nodded in satisfaction.

“Fine, resume training and get into shape for battle.” He agreed, also knowing that meant more time he could babysit.

Mikasa nodded, satisfied she had convinced them she wasn’t going to be a liability. Though she had to wonder if her resolve would stay as firm when she came face to face with him again. Would he melt down her walls and make her lose herself in him or would she be able to be strong?

————

The time in Marley had been an learning experience for Eren. He had realized so much that had been hidden from him, like how most of soldiers sent to destroy the cities on Paradis had actually been Eldians trying to earn citizenship for their families, how life was so unfair for them in Marley that they were willing to risk their lives if it meant their families could live with more comfort.

Zeke had told him many things, as they regularly met together in secret. Eren had grown his hair out long, disguised himself as a wounded soldier to lay low and deter suspicion. The year he had spent among those people also gave him time to feel remorseful for the future terror he would bring upon them. He had started to understand what it must have been like for them: Annie, Reiner and Bertolt. How they had lived among those they would later kill, what a heavy burden that must have been to carry.

It was a certain kind of hell that had a way of breaking a man and Eren had reached that point. His dreams were worse than ever, every night would come a new macabre vision of his future, it would remind him that the path he was on was going to devastate everything around him.

When he finally wrote to them, his comrades back home, he felt guilty for dragging them in, but he would need their help getting home.

He had to be back in Paradis when his plan unfolded so they could kill him. He knew it would need to be done, it was the only way to stop him.

He wasn’t sure they would be able to bring themselves to do that so he would have to ensure to break any remaining bonds he had with them. He knew his disappearance would have already caused damage to the relationships he had with them but he knew it would be a lot harder for her to let go.

He had stopped crying when he thought of her, feeling that he didn’t deserve to mourn what had been lost because she was better off without him. He no longer let his thoughts linger on her smile or the way her kisses had felt, those were distant memories that would taunt him to give in to selfish desires. She would hate him, he was sure, but it would be worth it when she was safe, free from any worry of attack from enemies.

He gripped the handle of his crutch, watching the door for his messenger to come back with him.

The door opened and in walked the blond man, still tall and strong, but older with facial hair defining his face. He walked closer into the light, observing the one-legged form of Eren sitting on the chair.

“Hey, Reiner.” He said, raising his head so he could clearly see his face, any of it that wasn’t obscured by bandages anyway.

“Eren.” Reiner stared back in shock, not expecting to run into the other shifter again. Especially not in Marley. He started to feel panic at the sight, sure that Eren wouldn’t be there for a chat. No, there was something much worse in store for them.

“Sit down, Reiner.” Eren instructed, gesturing to the seat across from him. A visible cut could be seen on his hand.

Reiner felt his knees give out on him and he sat automatically. This Eren was different from the past. That Eren was impulsive and full of rage but it was like an overconfident puppy, very little danger to anyone and not terribly frightening. This Eren was harder to read.You could see a storm brewing beneath the surface but instead of shouting about it, he let subtle actions fuel the feeling of unease.

“What are you here for?” Reiner asked, though they both knew the answer already. Reiner had begun to sweat, looking above them. He knew they were close to the stage where they were holding the Anti-Eldian presentation and his family was going to be present.

“Same thing as you.” Eren leaned forward in his chair, watching Reiner begin to break down in front of him.

“Why?” Reiner held his head in his hands, the hauntings of his past sins coming back to him. He remembered the screams of countless people being crushed and burned to death in Paradis by their hands.

“Really?” Eren leaned even closer, peering at Reiner’s face. Reiner recognized the unstable look in Eren’s eyes, it had been one he had seen in his own face before. “I don’t have any choice. I have to protect my family.”

The sound of the presentation started and Eren looked up, his cue. He untied the leg of his pants, letting the limb grow back. He also removed the bandage from around his head, his full face coming into view.

“At one time I wanted to kill all my enemies across the sea. It was easy to view them as enemies because I didn’t know them. I only knew that they were the reason my mother was dead, that so many others were dead.”With both of the familiar green eyes exposed, Reiner could see how they lost their shine, they looked dull and muted in the dim light of the room.

“Now that I lived here, I can see that there are good people here among the enemies. You saw that too, didn’t you? On Paradis. Perhaps you even killed some.”

Reiner thought of Annie pulling the trigger and killing Marco and that wave of guilt he buried deep down came back. He felt sick, the trauma of his actions rising to the surface like bile.

“You’ve suffered a lot, haven’t you?” Eren asked, understanding in his tone. “I’m the same as you. I need to keep moving forward to save this world.”

The last thing Reiner remembered seeing was Eren grabbing onto his hand, blood still dripping from the wound on his palm.

Then he was gone and the ground rocked and explosions erupting around him, causing the building to collapse.

The sound of Eren’s other form roaring in rage interrupting the presentation as he came flying out on stage, crushing the host, Willy Tybur. If they wanted to view Eldians as monsters, then they were going to get a monster.

Destruction was well under way by the time squad Levi arrived on the scene, as well as a fleet of other SC recruits. Liberio was a large territory to cover with just their small band on soldiers so the extra recruits were necessary to take down such a big target.

The Marleyan military had already realized Eren Yeager was the enemy and were aiming their attacks at him, ready to use all their fire power on him.

“It’s time, Mikasa.” Eren said, knowing she would appear as soon as he needed her. He was not disappointed, she swung through the air with her new and improved gear, outfitted with another weapon of Hange’s design, exploding spears. She sent the spears blasting into the enemies artillery before landing next to Eren. At the same time, more Scouts came out and started attacking, the sudden onslaught of gun fire and spears exploding sending the Marleyan military into a frenzy.

Eren looked at Mikasa, emerald eyes expressing his longing even in his attack form.

She looked directly back at him, her own gaze pleading. “Eren, please... come home.”

She would fight along side him if he needed her but he had to come back home, he had to meet his daughter. Maybe if Mikasa wasn’t enough to make him stay, maybe Emi would be.

The request was enough to cause Eren to resume his human form, no matter how vulnerable that made him to Mikasa’s pleas.

“Eren,” Mikasa looked out over the destruction that Eren had caused, seeing civilian bodies crushed under debris and their houses burning. “Do you have any idea what you have done? You killed innocent civilians...even children.” The last part came out stained and quiet, tinged with pain. He hurt children. Would he even care about their own child?

Eren looked back at Mikasa, catching the tears welling in her eyes. He felt deep regret for the pain he was causing her, the pain he was causing the people who had lost loved ones. He knew he had reached a point of no return and it hurt. The torment in those sullen green eyes was plain to see, as well as the dark circles around them. Eren looked broken down and tired, stubble grown in and hair wild. He hadn’t bathed in far too long.

He was hurting, she realized. He was so much more haunted than the boy she had grown up with. He was gone and she would never get his smiling face back.

“It’s not over yet.” Eren said, turning his head to break away from her concern. Too much of that would make him lose his resolve and they were already so close to bringing down Liberio.

————

The new recruits had gone rogue, more buildings burning and destroyed than initially planned. Jean jumped down off a roof to chastise them, angry with their carelessness.

“Hey! What are you doing? We’re supposed to keep civilian loses to a minimum!” Jean yelled, approaching the soldiers carrying explosives.

One of them, Jean remembered his name being Floch, turned to Jean and met him with defiance. “Everyone here is the enemy, what does it matter? They didn’t spare civilians when they attacked us.”

Jean felt anger rise inside of him. “Follow orders, Floch. We need to cover Eren and Zeke until we get them out of here, not exact revenge.”

Floch pointed to Eren’s direction, something almost like admiration sounding in his voice. “Eren knows what we’re here for, he’s willing to fight to free us. We need that devil right now.”

Jean grit his teeth, willing himself not to deck the guy in the face. Even after being absent for a year, Eren was still managing to spread his idiotic ideologies about freedom.

————

An explosion sounded from the port, smoke rising from the remains of Marley’s battleships.

Armin’s body washed ashore on a wave as he returned to his normal body, regretfully observing the destructive path left in his wake. Once his abilities were revealed, it was no doubt a tool to be used to take on the the seaside threats, Eldians having very little resources for maritime battle. It would reduce casualties on their end, but the destruction had caused some innocent lives to be swept away in the tsunami waves.

Hopefully their faith in Eren wasn’t misplaced. There had to be some reason for them to abandon their humanity.

————

The ultimate weapon had been set, triggers set up throughout all of Liberio. If a large portion of Marley’s military force was in the Eldians they had been holding in their internment zone, it would be a devastating blow to wipe them out.

In the year that Zeke and Eren had been plotting their plan, they had reverse engineered the serum, allowing for a version that would guarantee the deterioration and death of anyone who was exposed to it with Eldian blood. It could be weaponized in a vapor that would be released in the air once they were out of range.

They hadn’t told Eren’s comrades about it.

Zeke stood in the predetermined spot and called out Levi, challenging him as a cover for his escape plan. Levi leapt off a roof nearby, eyes flashing with vengeance as he fired several exploding spears at him, the resulting havoc enough cover for Levi to retrieve the remains of Zeke’s body from the wreckage.

The airship was overhead, their escape route within sight. They made it aboard and Levi threw Zeke none too gently on the ground. The man had limbs missing, was barely held together by strings of flesh. It would take him a long time to recover from that.

“You almost succeeded in killing him, Levi.” Hange commented, stunned by the state the the telepath was in.

“I won’t fail next time.” Levi muttered darkly.

————

Armin extended his hand when Mikasa and Eren made it back to the airship, perhaps more as a sign of continued friendship rather than just assistance in boarding. Eren grabbed the offered sign of peace and his childhood friend pulled him aboard.

A sudden kick sent Eren flying across the floor as soon as he was on board. Levi stood over him, clearly holding nothing but disdain for the younger man. “I can’t believe how filthy you are, like you fell in a pile of shit.”

Eren coughed, picking himself up from the floor, reminded of when he first was on trial and Levi had beat the shit out of him to prove a point. The point was quite obvious to Eren, he knew he had betrayed them and put them in danger.

Mikasa felt automatically compelled to move to defend Eren when she suddenly stopped, glancing over at Armin. He looked back at her, eyes pitying.

Levi wasn’t just punishing Eren for what had just happened, the aggression was punishment for abandoning a pregnant Mikasa too. Eren was, of course, going to be detained, he had proven himself to be unreliable and untrustworthy.

Mikasa pulled herself inside the airship, grateful for Armin’s hand on her shoulder as Levi ordered for Eren to be restrained.

Before they could grab him, Eren retrieved the detonator from his pocket and pressed the button to set off the weapon on Liberio.

“Guys, Sasha isn’t back yet!” Connie yelled, suddenly realizing their friend had yet to return.

Eren tensed, eyes darting to the entrance of the air ship. A heavy silence settled in the air, which was only punctuated by the sound of the serum vapor being released into the air below. The air was hazy below and masked the sight of the ODM hook anchoring onto the airship.

Sasha came flying in, crumbling to the floor as soon as she was inside, body shaking as the poison worked its way through her system. She started coughing up blood, causing Connie to come rushing to her side.

“Sasha, what happened? Are you hurt?” He started crying, realizing the light was already starting to fade from her eyes.

Jean eyed the detonator in Eren’s hand and then looked back at Sasha’s lifeless form. “What did you do?” He demanded, rushing forward and grabbing the front of his shirt. Eren refused to meet Jean’s eyes, struggling to keep from cracking under the weight of what just happened.

Mikasa covered her mouth with her hand to hold in her cry of grief. The light of their group had been extinguished.

————

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if this was all over the place. This was a really tough chapter to get through. I know a lot is happening and I’m jumping around but I really don’t know how else to write it, I feel like it matches the insanity that is the manga right now. So just a fair warning, this story is going to get really rough before things get better. I promise you I ultimately have a plan for it to end on a happier note.


	18. Chapter 18

Though she didn’t think it were possible, the ride back to Paradis was even worse than her last journey from Marley to Paradis. They all struggled in their own ways with their grief for their fallen comrade.

Eren had been locked up as soon as they were home, no one but a select few allowed in to see him. Though her rank wasn’t included in those approved to see him, Mikasa knew she would approach Commander Hange with her request anyway.

“I know you said you were going to see him first, but I wanted to tell him.” Mikasa shuffled nervously, wondering herself if it was even a good idea at all. “About Emi.”

Hange debated with herself on the matter, knowing things were pretty precarious. There were already protests rising against Eren’s imprisonment. The hero of Paradis, they were calling him. They needed to properly question him before her hand was forced into releasing him.

“Ten minutes.” Hange gave in, unable to deny the reunion. If anything went wrong, at least the short time span would allow her to interrupt.

Mikasa nodded, grateful for an opportunity, no matter how short.

The heels of her boots clicked on the stairs as she descended down to his cell. Eren had washed up and shaved, water dripping from his face as he stared shirtless into the mirror, staring at his reflection.

“If we don’t win, we die. If we win, we live.” He said to his reflection. He pulled his dripping hair back, tying it up into a messy bun.

“If we don’t fight-“ he continued, before Mikasa’s voice cut him off.

“We can’t win.” She said, making it over to the bars, wrapping her hands around the iron barrier between them.

Eren turned to her, leaning back against the sink.

Mikasa pressed her forehead against the bars, feeling tired and distraught. She wanted to go home and hug Emi, to tell her everything would be fine. There was a time that a shirtless Eren, dripping wet, would have driven her crazy. She could have indulged herself in her dreams of him, but those days were long gone.

“Eren.” She said, the same way she used to when she had wanted his attention. He watched her, wondering why she was the first to greet him. He was expecting Hange to be ready to jump into action to interrogate him.

“Mikasa.” He replied, relieved that his voice came out even despite the way his stomach flipped when she looked at him like that. She had gotten more beautiful with age, though she looked so tired and so sad. He knew he was guilty of causing that pain.

“You left me after our first time without saying anything to me, without a good bye or a way to reach you.” She sighed, trying to gather the strength to say what she needed to.

“I thought none of you would let me stay if you knew what I had planned, or you would insist on staying with me.” Eren pointed out, which made sense. They wouldn’t have let him stay there alone.

“You missed her birth.” Mikasa’s words were like an ice cold bath over Eren’s head. He felt a chill roll down his spine, paralyzed in place.

He tried to speak, but the words died on his lips. Birth?

“We have a daughter.” Mikasa continued, finding her confidence. “Her name is Emi. She has your eyes.”

The news had Eren reeling, he had to grip the edge of the sink tighter to resist falling to the ground. His whole world was rocked with a few simple words.

“What?” He rasped, eyes wide and any pretense of apathy was thrown out the window. The guilt fell on him like bricks, he had abandoned her with a baby, their baby. He missed her birth.

It shouldn’t change things and yet it did. Being a father was a whole new responsibility and he knew what it was like to have one that let you down.

He blinked, willing the tears away but they didn’t stop.

He sunk down to his knees, burying his face in his hands to hide his turmoil. The accumulation of everything: the fight in Liberio, the death of Sasha, the news that had just been dropped on him.

“Eren.” Her sweet voice again, calling him. She had moved closer, her hand reaching out through the bars. “It’s not to late to be there for her. Come home.”

Though they were already back in Paradis, coming home meant going back to Mikasa, back to the Eren that didn’t have to save them.

He couldn’t. He stared at her hand, weighing the benefits of taking it or coldly rejecting it.

He slid his fingers over hers before intertwining them and tugging her closer to the bars. He leaned in, their breath mixing in the proximity.

“If I don’t fight, there won’t be a home to come back to.” He said, gaze softening just enough to show his sincerity. Mikasa reached through to grab the back of Eren’s neck, closing the distance to kiss through the gaps in the bars. It was bittersweet, the saltiness of her tears mixing with the taste of her lips. Eren surged forward like a starved man, kissing her more powerfully than he had before. Mikasa gasped, lips parting automatically to allow his tongue to slip into her mouth, his tongue stroking against hers to coax her into the same level of passion.

It worked, she moaned against his lips, raking her nails down his chest. Eren grabbed the bars in frustration and shook them, annoyed at the barrier between them.

The door clicked open at the top of the stairs and Hange made a point of clearing her throat loudly. “Ten minutes are up.” She announced.

Mikasa pulled away from Eren, flushed and panting. There was so much that still needed sorting out, but clearly the passion wasn’t missing from their relationship. Eren grabbed her wrist before she could get too far.

“Can I see her?” Eren asked, voice soft so only Mikasa could hear.

Mikasa hesitated, unsure that it would be allowed, whether she wanted to bring her or not. “I don’t know...”

“Please.” Eren begged, giving her wrist a little squeeze before letting go.

“I’ll see what I can do.” Mikasa turned away, willing her heart to stop racing. After all the damage he caused, she was still weak when it came to him.

————

Trying to get Eren to talk turned out pointless, Eren didn’t have any trouble slipping back into his facade for Hange. She left the shifter in the cells, feeling more frustrated and hopeless upon returning to Levi’s side.

They had received results back that Sasha had inhaled a toxic weapon that Zeke Yeager had developed. They were calling it the doomsday serum, since it had the ability to completely destroy Paradis if something like that were to ever be released.

“Do you want me to extract information?” Levi questioned, in the particular way that implied he was fine with any method that would be effective.

Hange laughed bitterly. “I don’t think torture would work, Levi. He hurts himself on a routine basis to transform and he heals too quickly.”

“You underestimate me.” Levi countered, quite sure Hange didn’t know the half of the methods Levi was familiar of. Hange had to admit, that was quite intriguing, but not exactly the right place and time for that line of questioning.

“We probably won’t be able to hold him very long. There’s rumors of a group called the Yeagerists, they are insisting on his release as the savior of mankind.”

“For fuck’s sake.” Levi sighed, looking thoroughly vexed. “He started a cult?”

Hange turned and thumped her head against the wall, feeling defeated. They had Zeke locked up too, but he was even less helpful than Eren. They wouldn’t tell her what their plan was, all she knew was that they needed to stay separated.

“I’ll make some tea.” Tea was Levi’s way of offering comfort, he wasn’t really good with words, even though Hange understood what he was trying to say most of the time. He was awkward with physical affection too, though every small touch meant more coming from him.

Hange turned her head and offered him a grateful smile. Being Commander was a little easier with him by her side, though she had to wonder why Erwin entrusted that title to her.

“Levi.” She said before he could leave the room. She couldn’t explain it but she just had a feeling something was going to happen. “Take a group of the recruits and go into hiding with Zeke. All we really know is that the two of them are necessary for the plan they have so until we know more, we should keep them apart.”

————

The steady beep of the hospital equipment was the only sound in the room for a while, Armin staring ahead at Annie, wondering what she would think about what had happened in Marley.

“They’re all gone, everyone in your home town.” Armin stated, knowing she wouldn’t register what he was saying, but he had to get his sins off his chest. “I’m sorry, you probably had friends and family there.”

He put his elbows on her hospital bed and put his head in his hands. “Sasha is dead too. I think it’s Eren’s fault. I don’t know what to think anymore.” He didn’t have any brilliant ideas to get them out of this one. He didn’t know who his best friend was anymore and he thought he knew him best.

After years of coming to visit and talking to her, Armin was sure he came off crazy. Hitch, the nurse assigned to watch over Annie, often came in and talked to him too, but mostly to tease him for his obvious attachment to Annie.

When he reached out to touch Annie’s hand, wishing for once she would wake up and say something, Hitch came into the room and crossed her arms over her chest.

“Hey, hands off. I don’t want any frisky business going on.” She teased, knowing Armin was grief-stricken. They had brought in his friend for an autopsy and it had been the most horrific thing Hitch had witnessed. The poor girls body had basically self destructed. Whatever had happened across the sea had been something unspeakable.

Armin jumped up, startled out of his despondent thoughts. “Hitch!” He exclaimed, feeling heat creep up on his cheeks. “I-it isn’t like that. I was just-“

“It’s fine, I know you two obviously had quite a past for you to come in here every week for the past four years.” Hitch thought it was both depressing and romantic, the way Armin would pine after the comatose girl.

“Actually, we didn’t get much time together.” Armin felt the sorrow seep back in, admitting the truth only making him seem more pathetic. “I hurt her and I don’t think there are enough visits to make up for that.”

Because he understood why she had been compelled to act the way she did and Armin wasn’t innocent anymore either, his hands were also dirty with blood. It didn’t matter anymore what side they were on, they were just two humans struggling to live in a cruel world.

“Tch, so it’s guilt visits?” Hitch raised a brow, silently judging. She hadn’t known Annie’s real identity, only her name.

Armin was quiet, not exactly sure what to call them. He couldn’t deny there was an aspect of guilt and he wasn’t sure if he had the right to say it was something more.

————

Sasha was buried in a field with other gravestones of those who had fought bravely to the bitter end. Mikasa had brought Emi along, the warm bundle against her chest a comfort to her as she watched the ceremony.

They had sat around the gravestone after, her, Connie and Jean. Jean pulled a patch from his pocket and handed it to Mikasa. She looked down at the name embroidered on it and read: Sasha Blouse.

“For Emi’s blanket.” Jean said, quietly. They could both hear Connie’s muffled sobs next to them and Mikasa felt tears roll down her cheeks as she clutched the patch in her hands.

“Sasha was like my twin.” Connie choked out, face red from crying, eyes puffy. “I feel like a part of me died with her.”

Mikasa felt a tightness in her chest and pulled Emi in closer, wishing that she could promise a better world to her, one where they didn’t lose their precious friends. One where Eren hadn’t murdered innocent people. She felt like she was drowning already in her sorrows and she didn’t know how to pull herself out.

————

They had gathered around after the funeral, the four fellow trainees turned soldiers, all of them filled with differing levels of unease. Emi was curled up in Mikasa’s arms, completely unaware of what was going on around her in her world of slumber, her tiny hand clutching onto Mikasa’s scarf.

“Hange couldn’t get any information from Zeke or Eren so they are transferring Zeke to an undisclosed location.” Armin informed them, breaking the silence.

Jean’s head had been resting against the back of the couch in exhaustion, his eyes staring at the ceiling. He felt so physically and mentally tired since they returned from Liberio. Hearing the update from Armin prompted him to voice his thoughts aloud. “Why did Eren suddenly decide to betray us for Zeke? When he originally told us about Zeke, he intended for us to bring him down.”

Connie had been staring out the window for a while, uncharacteristically quiet. He was still struggling to handle the loss of Sasha. They were all mourning, but they knew it hit him the hardest.

“Hey guys...” he finally spoke up, not bothering to turn and face them while he addressed them. He just stared at his reflection in the glass, faced twisted in anger. “Did that look like Eren to you?”

He can’t have been the only one that was wondering what had happened to their comrade, their friend.

“It didn’t to me, that wasn’t Eren. If he’s capable of picking his half brother over us...”

Mikasa felt uneasy with the way Connie was talking. It wasn’t like they all didn’t notice Eren was different but could they really be that eager to turn on him?

“Then what?” She asked, fixing her gaze on Connie’s back.

“We need to be prepared to cut him down ourselves.” Connie answered, brows drawing together.

They knew Connie was coming from a place of grief, of anger, but the potential that what he said could actually be necessary made Mikasa panic.

“I won’t let you.” She said, causing Connie to turn to her, wide-eyed.

“Are you taking their side too, Mikasa?”

Mikasa looked down at the bundle in her arms, remembering the day that Eren had told her that he cared for them. She refused to believe that was a lie or that spending a year in Marley could take that away. He had wanted to see Emi too, that wasn’t something a man who was a lost cause would ask for.

“No, it’s not that. Eren agreed to help Zeke because he made a deal with him. Armin was dying and Zeke offered to help in exchange for Eren joining him.” It was the first time she told them, even Armin hadn’t known the conditions under which he was brought back from the brink of death.

“You’re only telling us now?” Connie yelled, stunned. With how many secrets and lies they told, he really did start to wonder if Mikasa could be trusted.

“He’s doing this because of me?” Armin asked, looking absolutely crushed. Eren should have just let him die if that were the price he had to pay.

“No, I don’t think he is.” Jean leaned forward, resting his forearms on his legs. “I think he’s been fooling all of us this whole time. Why would he have all of us put our lives at risk for him when they already had a weapon that could wipe out Eldians? Why have Armin use his powers to take out the port or have Mikasa at the center of the danger? His carelessness cost Sasha her life.”

Mikasa was still struggling to believe in Eren, because she had seen the tender side of him, the side capable of love. She couldn’t accept giving up on him. “He trusted us to take him home.”

“Sasha would have been home if we hadn’t gone.” Connie’s voice wavered when he said that, turning back to the window. “He didn’t even cry when she died. He didn’t even feel regret.”

“Connie, stop.” Jean warned, knowing that train of thought would only worsen the situation.

“We’ll talk to him.” Armin spoke quietly, though his confidence had definitely depleted. He wasn’t sure talking would produce anything helpful. “Him, Mikasa and I will have a discussion.” They were his oldest friends and they knew him the best, they had the best chance of getting through.

Jean looked skeptical, not hesitating to call Armin out on his weak plan. “What good is a discussion going to do?”

It was only the first layer of the strategy.

“I believe Eren has a plan, something Zeke isn’t aware of. I believe he’s going to use him to get to the coordinate realm.” Armin wasn’t exactly sure what that would be, but it had to be important or why would Eren risk everything to accomplish that?

“If all else fails, I have a last resort set in place. I already discussed it with Hange and she agrees that it may work.”

They all knew Armin was brilliant so they had to trust in him. He knew how to make difficult decisions but they knew their hardest decision was still ahead of them.

————

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I may have cried like a baby writing this chapter and drank entirely too much wine.


	19. Chapter 19

The report came to her before she could meet with the other branches of the military to discuss plans to handle the unrest in Paradis. Eren Yeager had escaped and a wake of destruction had followed, countless soldiers dead and Darius Zackly had also been killed for plotting the elimination of Eren.

Hange knew the majority of the Yeagerists were from the scouts, particularly new recruits. They had to be the ones that helped him escape and the only thing that they had an advantage with was that Zeke’s location had not been disclosed. They kept his squad small and full of soldiers they could trust so hopefully that would be enough to stave off the inevitable disaster.

Hange wrapped her fingers around the box in front of her, lifting the lid. It looked inconspicuous enough, just a syringe sitting inside. It had been extracted from Sasha before they buried her, enough of the toxin in her to recreate the doomsday serum that had destroyed Liberio.

She didn’t want to have to use such a thing but it seemed that they had little choice. If they had to kill Zeke or Eren, then it was a valuable resource. Erwin wouldn’t have hesitated to make the tough choices.

“Commander?” Armin knocked and pushed open the door to her office.

“Come in, Armin.”

Armin moved to sit in the chair across from her desk, eyes falling on the small box in the middle of the desk.

“Is that it?”

Hange nodded, sliding the container across the desk towards Armin. “I’m entrusting it to you, Armin. I trust that you can make the tough decisions necessary to carry out the mission.”

Armin swallowed nervously, fingers curling around the arms of of the chair. Hange trusted in him but he was still struggling to trust himself. He had made tough choices before but none of them had been against his best friend.

He knew Hange was already under a great amount of stress so Armin pocketed the container with the serum, tucking it into his uniform jacket. He was about to speak up about their plan when the door to Hange’s office was slammed open. They turned to the source of the intrusion, spotting Floch leading a band of other suspected Yeagerists.

She had been expecting their visit, it had only been a matter of time.

“Commander.” Floch greeted, aiming a gun in their direction. “You must know Zeke’s whereabouts. Tell us where he is.”

Hange narrowed her eyes at the rebel, unwilling to cooperate. “Under military arrest. Where’s Eren?”

“Eren is going to lead us to victory against our enemies.” Floch answered, finger poised on the trigger. “I suggest you come with us willingly or I may have to resort to other means of persuasion.”

Hange stood up from her desk and held up her hands. “Floch, do you really know whose side you are on?”

“I’m fighting for the freedom of Eldians. Something the Survey Corps failed to do.” Floch answered emotionlessly. He turned his aim on Armin and started counting down from five.

“I’ll go!” Hange yelled in panic, quite sure that Floch was crazy enough to actually start shooting if she didn’t cooperate.

“Hange, no.” Armin frowned, knowing they would be left without a commander if something happened to her.

“Take over as commander if I don’t return.” She whispered on her way out. Armin’s eyes widened and he stood up to follow, only to get his path blocked by Floch.

“No, Arlert, Eren wants to speak with you.”

————

Armin waited in Hange’s office for several minutes before another soldier was shoved in with him.

“Mikasa?” He rushed over to his friend, grabbing her arm. She wasn’t hurt, of course, but she was clearly upset.

“I was barely able to hand Emi off before they dragged me in here. I swear if anything happens to her...” she aimed an absolutely deadly glare at the door, her hands clenched into fists.

“Eren’s coming.” Armin said, quietly. The malice in her gaze faded at his name, as he knew it would. They had wanted to talk to him, so maybe that was their chance.

Eren entered the room after what felt like an eternity and held up his hand before either of his childhood friends could react. A red line was slit across his palm in a silent threat.

“Take a seat and keep your hands on the desk.” Eren instructed, moving to take Hange’s seat. Mikasa and Armin complied, unease building by the way Eren greeted them. He was dead behind those emerald eyes. Mikasa couldn’t pick up on what he was feeling and that scared her.

“Eren, we wanted to speak with you.” Armin started, eyes wide as he watched Eren bleed onto the wooden surface of the desk. “What were you thinking when you attacked Marley? You killed all those people.”

“The majority of Marleyan military is Eldian refugees.” Eren answered. “They don’t care who they use as a weapon: man, woman or child.”

“You’re being controlled.” Mikasa still couldn’t believe Eren would choose a path to murder innocent people just to protect their home. “The real Eren wouldn’t kill civilians and children even if they were from an enemy territory.” She clutched her scarf, growing desperate. “You always cared about us more than anything, right? You saved me from the kidnappers because you are kind...right?”

Eren’s gaze darkened, finally showing emotion but not the emotion she wanted. “I said to keep your hands on the desk.”

Mikasa let go of the scarf in shock, her hand settling back on the cold surface of the desk.

“Zeke revealed to me something a long time ago about that day.” Eren admitted, forcing his face to remain neutral as he recounted the story. “My father knew you had the Ackerman blood line and asked those robbers to kidnap you so he could make me into a monster. I am the reason your parents are dead.”

Mikasa felt tears come to her eyes and she shook her head in disbelief. No, Carla and Grisha had always been kind to her. Why would he say that?

He turned his attention to Armin for a minute, also digging up a sensitive subject for him.

“Armin, are you still visiting Annie?” Eren watched Armin’s face transform, mouth agape as he revealed he was aware of Armin’s visits to the comatose girl. “You’re letting your feelings cloud your judgement so you’re sympathizing with the enemy.”

“Eren, what’s going on with you?” Mikasa interrupted, feeling distressed the more speeches Eren delivered with that anger in his gaze. Why was he attacking them where they were weakest?

“The Ackerman bloodline is designed to protect the king so you have an inherent need to protect the host you attached to.” Eren leaned forward, his voice dropping low. “In other words, you only cling to me because of your Ackerman instincts. You obeyed my order when I told you to fight so you awoken your powers. You fought to protect me even though I’m the reason you’re an orphan.”

Mikasa felt her hands shake, so conflicted over the words that were leaving his lips. How could he belittle her love for him by calling it an instinct like she was just an animal?

“It can’t be...” She whispered, turning her head to the side to avoid those soulless eyes boring into her.

“It can’t? Why not?”

“I stay by your side because I love you.” Mikasa admitted, tears finally falling down her cheeks.

Eren stopped his verbal attack for a minute, thrown off for a second. He couldn’t lose his nerve, not when he was so close to severing his ties with them.

“You think it’s love but you are just a slave to your instincts.” Eren replied, coldly. His fingers were gripping on to the table, nails digging into the wood as he fought his desire to comfort her, to tell her he loved her too.

“Stop it, Eren!” Armin yelled, horrified by the interaction between the two. Eren had dropped to a new low. Mikasa had just barely gotten over being abandoned with a baby and Eren was breaking her heart all over again.

“Do you know what I hate most in this world?” Eren threw every negative feeling into his voice, hoping his cold exterior was convincing enough to break her dedication to him. “Anyone who isn’t free. They’re no better than livestock.”

“Eren!” Armin pleaded for Eren to stop, seeing the way Mikasa crumbled with every vicious word.

“Just looking at her made me so angry and now I understand why. I couldn’t stand to look at a slave who always followed orders.” Eren narrowed his eyes, spitting the next words out like venom. “Ever since I was a little kid... I’ve always hated you, Mikasa.”

Armin had never felt so angry with Eren before. Though he had done many things that called into question his humanity, Armin could find ways to explain it away or excuse it somehow. Not anymore, not when he hurt the person who loved him most in the world.

Armin grit his teeth and lunged forward with his fist raised, prepared to strike

His face hit the desk before he could even make contact, Mikasa having defended Eren without even a second thought. The realization hit her as soon as saw herself holding Armin down by his shoulder. She had just proved Eren’s point and doubt started to fill her mind. Was she a slave? Was her only purpose to protect Eren? She quickly let go of Armin, horrified at having pinned him down so aggressively.

“See? You can’t even fight it, you’re a slave to your blood.” Eren said before Armin quickly righted himself and finally punched him in the face with all he had. Mikasa didn’t stop him that time, too conflicted with her own emotions.

The commotion caused the door to open and two armed men looked in to check on Eren.

“Mr. Yeager?” One of them asked, startled by Eren’s bloody nose. They moved forward to defend him when Eren held up his hand to stop them.

“It’s fine.” Eren replied calmly, waiting for them to leave before he approached Armin and returned the blow, sending him backwards into a bookcase. “We’ve never fought before, have we? Because it would never be a fair fight.” He continued to deliver blows until Armin felt to the floor, bloody and bruised.

Armin’s groan of pain was enough to prompt Mikasa back into action.She darted forward and pinned Eren against the wall, his wrists trapped on either side of his head.

Mikasa searched his eyes but he turned his head to avoid her gaze. He hadn’t expected Mikasa to use her strength on him.

“I’ll transform.” He threatened, at least wanting to hold some power.

“We both know I could still take you down.” She replied, her own voice dropping into something cold and menacing. Eren was breaking her heart but she was not his slave. Her first priority was her daughter and she couldn’t let any man, even Eren, destroy her self worth. She had to be strong for Emi.

Eren finally met Mikasa’s gaze, eyes widened in surprise, genuinely caught off guard. He was never the recipient of Mikasa’s death stare. He snorted softly, realizing he had accomplished his goal. Mikasa didn’t need him anymore.

“So what was this all for?” Armin pushed himself up off the floor, struggling a bit to balance himself against the desk. “Did you want the freedom to hurt Mikasa?”

Those words hit Eren harder than fists could and he looked in Armin’s direction, his act faltering for just a moment. Mikasa had seen it though, just a brief moment where she saw the vulnerable teenager that had asked her what she felt for him back in Marley.

“You’re a slave too and your master is a worthless bastard.” Armin spit out, the disgust in his voice coupled with the implication that Eren was a slave to anything or anyone, was enough for Eren to return to his alternate self, the cold bastard that could hurt the ones that mattered most to him.

“Who are you calling a slave?” Eren tried to pull free from Mikasa’s hold, but she wouldn’t budge.

“Armin, give us a minute.” She said, giving her friend a look over her shoulder. Armin hesitated, but more out of concern for her mental and emotional well being than physical.

Eren tensed at that request, wondering what the hell she thought she was doing.

“I’ll be just outside.” Armin said cautiously, gingerly making his way over to the door and exiting with a soft click.

“Who do you think you are that you can- mmph!” Eren’s words were cut off by Mikasa grabbing the back of his head by the bun and tugging harshly, her lips meeting his in a bruising kiss. Tears still fell down her cheeks in her desperation, the salty taste mixing in. Eren groaned against her lips, responding with just as much heat and aggression. Their teeth clacked together and tongues fought for dominance, while Eren used his now free hand to slide down and grab Mikasa’s backside. He tugged her hips closer so she could feel just how much her presence was affecting him.

Mikasa broke the kiss, both of their breaths coming out in harsh pants, a thin line of saliva connecting their mouths still.

“No.” Mikasa grabbed Eren’s hand and slammed it back against the wall. “I’m not giving you anything, you don’t deserve it right now.” She said, continuing to glare at him even though her eyes still shined with unreleased tears. Eren grunted in frustration, though he couldn’t deny that Mikasa was right. He didn’t deserve her touch at all.

She softened a bit after their breath returned to normal, leaning in to whisper into his ear. “It’s still not too late to come home. I will share the burden of your sins with you because I love you. I haven’t given up on you yet. I’m just disappointed.” Eren felt all the fight leave his body in a rush. Mikasa was so loyal and Eren knew it truly wasn’t her Ackerman heritage that made her that way. She just genuinely cared that much.

She bumped her head against Eren’s, brushing her lips against his cheek. She left him feeling absolutely wrecked against the wall as she exited the room without another word.

Eren slid down to the floor, clutching at his heart, his eyes clenching shut.

————

The assigned squad for guarding Zeke had set up camp off in the woods away from the city. They had calculated how much time it would take for Zeke to heal and they only had another day at most before he could fully use his power. It was not enough time and then Levi would have to deal with having soldiers susceptible to Zeke’s influence.

Hange had chosen not to order for his execution yet and Levi followed orders, no matter how much he loathed the man. Zeke held very little regard for human life beyond what suited his goals.

Levi was gathered around the fire with the other soldiers that weren’t guarding Zeke’s tent, eating their rations for the day when something set off alarms in Levi’s head, a tingling feeling running up his spine and causing him to glance back at their supply wagon. An explosion suddenly rocked the camp as a gas bomb went off, a familiar haze filling the air.

Levi’s eyes went wide in recollection, knowing exactly what the substance would do to them. He stumbled his way over to Zeke’s tent, the doomsday serum already beginning to numb his legs the more he inhaled. He tried to hold his breath but his lungs were already burning. He fell into the tent, looking up to see that Zeke was long gone.

“Shit.” Levi cursed, barely able to hold himself up. He body gave way to violent coughs and blood sprayed onto the ground beneath him as the world faded to black.

————


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: This chapter might absolutely wreck you, like it did for me (sooo many tears) and it is extra long, so be prepared. Major character death all over the place. I promise you need to keep reading after this chapter though!

Things were blurry when he blinked back into consciousness, his head pounding and his body feeling like it had been trampled by horses. The metallic taste in his mouth hadn’t faded, making him feel nauseous. Levi gripped clumps of earth, pulling himself forward until he clawed his way out of Zeke’s tent. The haze of the gas had disappeared and in its wake was the smell of flesh beginning to decay. Levi swallowed the urge to vomit, knowing he had smelled worse before. He tried to remember what Hange had told him once on one of her more gruesome rants about human bodies and the stages of decomposition.

Levi figured it didn’t matter, he still probably needed water. He continued to drag his tired body over to the river, dipping a hand in to splash the water in his face,washing away the grime and dried blood. He drank a few sips of water before falling back down behind some foliage, thoroughly exhausted of energy.

He wasn’t dead yet, by some miracle, but he wasn’t well enough to pose a threat. He wasn’t sure when or if he would recover but no doubt when they didn’t hear from their camp, help would be on the way. Or their enemy.

His eyes drifted shut, almost missing the sound of approaching horses. He kept still, breathing shallow so the casual observer wouldn’t notice the rise and fall of his chest.

Hange and the group of Yeagerists had arrived at the camp and the sight that met them was horrifying. Bodies littered the camp, already infested with maggots.

Hange turned away, a hand coming up to cover her mouth. It hadn’t been very long that they had been gone. The acceleration of the decomposition was familiar and she knew exactly what killed them. Floch and the others jumped off their horses to search the camp for survivors and Hange slowly dismounted, eyes darting around for the small Captain she had sent there.

I’m so sorry, Levi, she thought to herself. To meet his end in such a disgusting and anticlimactic way was not how any of them expected him to go.

Then she saw it, a hand sticking out from behind the bushes near the river. She picked up her steps, hurrying over and hoping that maybe it was him.

Levi was laying on the ground, pale faced and unmoving. He wasn’t decaying though, he was alive.

Hange pulled Levi onto her lap, immediately checking for a pulse, to see if he assumption was correct. It was, there was a pulse, faint but present.

She heard Floch and the others approaching, having already searched the camp for survivors and Zeke. The sight of Levi looking far too intact would give him away so she did the only thing she could think of.

She tucked Levi against her chest and dove into the river, letting the current take them away. The muffled yells from the group she left behind were distorted by the sound of running water.

Hang in there, she tried to convey that to Levi by clutching on tighter, swimming until they could safely resurface again.

————

After the confrontation with Eren, the remaining part of squad Levi had been corralled into a jail cell, safely tucked away from the impending chaos and frustrations mounting with the helplessness of their situation.

“So do we just sit and watch from here?” Connie asked with his arms crossed over his chest. He looked over at Armin, wondering if he had a brilliant plan for breaking them out. “Armin, can you break us out with your powers?”

“No, they aren’t any good in here.” Armin admitted, feeling rather grim. He had done all he could to prepare them for the situation but they were still at a stand still until backup arrived. At least he could still feel the weight of the serum in his pocket. They hadn’t searched him when they locked them up, which was lucky. Perhaps they assumed from how much Eren had beaten him up that he was unarmed and harmless. Good, he would rather they underestimate them.

“So why did Eren beat you up?” Jean asked, since Armin and Mikasa had been quiet about it since they had arrived. Mikasa kept avoiding everyone’s gaze, staring down at the folded scarf on her lap. If she had taken that ratty thing off then something must have truly gone down in that office. What had he done that had been worse than ditching her for a year?

“He hurt Mikasa and said some pretty awful things so I hit him and he hit back.” Armin answered, eyes downcast as well. From the looks of it, Mikasa wasn’t the only one who had been hurt.

“He hurt Mikasa...how?” Jean asked, genuinely concerned for his friend. Mikasa tended to keep her problems to herself but it wasn’t healthy to always bury the pain.

“It’s...fine.” She answered, not even lifting her head to address him. It wasn’t fine, not really. He’d truly broken her heart, worse than any of the rejection or abandonment had done before.

“It’s not fine.” Jean insisted, turning his attention back to Armin, at least he was more likely to talk. He always was intervening when it came to Mikasa and Eren. “How did he hurt her?”

Armin looked conflicted, hesitant to bring up something so sensitive for Mikasa again. Thankfully Connie interrupted Jean’s interrogation to stop the uncomfortable line of questioning.

“Drop it, Jean. They don’t want to talk about it. He’s become a total piece of shit that doesn’t care if he hurts the people he used to care most about.”

Jean sighed, deciding to give up for the moment because Connie was right, Eren wasn’t in his right mind. “Did he hurt them for a reason?” He wondered aloud. Perhaps it was something they were all hoping, that there was some sort of reason for all the bullshit they were enduring.

Footsteps sounded down the hall and they looked up to find Ymir standing there with a hooded Historia behind her, no doubt to further conceal her from prying eyes.

“You made it.” Armin’s eyes lit up at the first sign of hope they had all day. He approached the bars, volume of his voice dropping low. “Did you take it, Historia?”

“That’s your majesty to you, peasant.” Ymir teased, stepping aside to let Historia converse with Armin.

Historia blushed and hit Ymir’s arm. “They don’t have to call me that here!” She protested, before turning to smile at Armin. “Yes, I did. I’m ready if we need me.”

“Good, hopefully it won’t come to that but Commander Hange gave me the other thing.” He tapped his pocket. “As a last resort.” He emphasized.

Historia looked solemn, the last resort looking more and more like a viable option. “Eren met with me. He told me what he had planned because I will have to deal with the aftermath.”

All the occupants of the cell turned to look at her, rapt with attention.

“He’s planning mass genocide. Every one outside of this island will be killed.” Historia’s words seemed surreal, the reality so cruel and heartless that they couldn’t even believe Eren was capable of it. “The military forces from around the world are preparing to destroy us, he said it was the only option.”

“No, he wouldn’t.” Mikasa insisted, brows drawn together. She was beginning to get a headache from all the stress and the heartache.

“He said that you guys had to stay locked up here so you could stay safe.” Historia added before looking to Ymir. Ymir held up a ring of keys, dangling it in front of them.

“I say you are the only ones capable of stopping him.”

————

Hange lowered her gun after shooting the last soldier sent out to find them. She looked back at Levi’s unconscious form, shifting closer to him. “Levi, there’s no one after us now.”

He looked uncharacteristically pale and weak and she wasn’t used to seeing him that vulnerable. “You must’ve survived because you are an Ackerman.” She acknowledged, pulling the blanket up over his shoulders. He still felt cold to the touch, too cold. She had gotten rid of his soaked clothes from the river, but he just wasn’t getting better. The fire beside them was giving off heat, but not enough. She put her head in her hands, feeling ultimately helpless and hopeless.

“What do we do now?” She wondered aloud, glancing back at Levi’s slumbering face. “I guess we just have to count on Armin...” They didn’t have the strength or the man power to stop Zeke. Likely he was already on his way to Eren.

“Maybe we should just live here together.” Hange mused, not entirely serious but also not entirely joking. A peaceful life away from the darkness that had settled over their home was becoming more appealing that she would like to admit. Especially because Levi was no longer in any shape to fight. They had lost all their veteran comrades. They were all that was left.

Levi’s hand moved, reaching out to grab Hange’s wrist. Hange nearly jumped out of her skin at the contact, wrenching her wrist free from his hold.

Levi sat up, the blanket falling to pool in his lap. “We can’t abandon those brats.” He said, revealing that he’d heard her musings. Hange flushed, suddenly embarrassed by her words.

“Oh, you heard that? Of course we couldn’t leave them.” She agreed, since it had just been a fleeting thought.

Levi looked at her quietly for a moment before he lifted up his blanket and looked underneath. “I’m naked.” He deadpanned, not sure what to make of that.

Hange spluttered, flustered by Levi suddenly awake and noticing all the embarrassing things that had transpired. “I didn’t look, I’m not a pervert.” Hange claimed, though the red in her cheeks said otherwise.

“Hm.” Levi dropped the blanket again and laid back down. “I’m cold, come share your body heat.” He insisted, knowing his words would only make it worse. Her mouth opened and closed a few times before she laid down next to him, scooting closer. She stared at his sleepy and unguarded face, wondering if it really would be so bad to live in the woods together if they ever made it out of this hell.

Levi opened his eyes halfway, seeing Hange’s stare. “Get under the blanket, four eyes, and stop staring.”

Hange smiled, feeling a little lighter as she lifted the blanket and slid underneath, Levi’s bare skin against her body. She rubbed her hands up and down his bare back to restore some heat to him. Levi sighed contentedly, falling back to sleep again as his body warmed with the heat of hers.

————

The nightmare settled in as soon as they were released from their cells. The sky had darkened with air ships, bombs began dropping overhead. Flashbacks of the attack on their hometown entered Mikasa’s head and she looked to Historia, grabbing her arm frantically. “Emi, where is she?”

“I left her with a wet nurse at the castle.” Historia answered, gaze sympathetic. “She’s in the most heavily guarded area, she’ll be fine.”

Mikasa nodded, slightly less worried but still fueled by her need to protect her.

“Stay behind me.” Ymir instructed, triggering her own transformation so that she could better protect her queen.

“Alright, let’s head in.” Armin ordered, since Hange and Levi weren’t present, she had left him with the next in command.

They jumped from the rooftop with the gear they had stolen from some unfortunate Yeagerists that had been in their escape route.

Eren had already made a scene, transforming and fighting his way through the opposing soldiers. Yeagerists were also keeping Eren safe as he took on the enemy fire.

It was easy to blend in with them and advance to the center of the conflict. Their goal was to keep Eren alive but to stall him getting to Zeke. It wasn’t any easy task, not with enemies crawling all over the place.

Mikasa was hardly seeing faces anymore, merely taking down whoever stood in the way. Eren had abandoned his shifter form in the favor of the less obvious human form. Despite that, enemy fire had still caught him off guard and took off his head. As it flew through the air, Zeke showed himself, having been pretending to be a dead soldier. He made contact with Eren before it was too late, initiating the final part of their plan.

————

“Finally you’re awake.” Zeke commented when Eren finally came to in the coordinate realm.

“How long was I out?” Eren asked, looking around the familiar surroundings and spotting the founder out of the corner of his eye.

“Time passes differently here.” Zeke shrugged before offering Eren a hand. “We should get to work either way before anyone interrupts.”

Eren took the hand and stood up, his expression changing suddenly. “You’re right, there’s no reason to hesitate.” He twisted Zeke’s arm around his back and held a knife to his neck. “Thanks for getting me here, brother, but I don’t need you anymore. I could never be a pawn in your games, I’m not the pathetic little brother you thought I was.”

Zeke tensed at the sudden threat, though he wasn’t honestly surprised. He knew what kind of kid Eren had been before his mind had been closed off with the Ackerman DNA. “Eren, you need help. Let’s save the Eldians and end this. You will still get your freedom.”

Eren snorted softly, digging the knife into Zeke’s throat. “You’re still trying to accomplish our father’s dreams but I am thinking beyond that.” He dragged the knife across the weak spot before Zeke could try to negotiate any more, letting his brother’s body drop in front of him.

Ymir was closer to him then, dark hollow eyes staring at him. Eren dropped the knife and reached out taking Ymir’s hand.

“I will put an end to this world! Give me your strength. You aren’t a slave or a god, you’re just a person.” He pulled her into an embrace, wanting to convey that he understood her pain and wanted to free her. Everyone deserved to be free. “You get to choose whether you stay here forever or if you want to end it all.”

Ymir’s eyes returned to a normal girl’s, tears streaming down her face.

“You were the one that led me here, weren’t you? You must have been waiting all this time.” Eren felt the sudden shift in power then, the pillar of light behind them lighting up like lightening.

————

Hange sat up suddenly, the image of the coordinate realm flashing in her mind, a rumble rocking the earth beneath them. “Levi!” She cried out to get his attention.

“I know, I saw it too.” Levi confirmed, face grim, and still weary. “Eren activated it.”

“We need to get back there as soon as possible. Can you move yet?” Hange started gathering their things and moving to the cart she managed to salvage to carry Levi if necessary.

“We won’t get anywhere with that.” Levi pointed out, grabbing his mostly dry clothes to change in to. “We’ll find some horses from a near by farm if we have to. I can move enough now to fight.”

She nodded in agreement, they wouldn’t be able to get there quickly but hopefully they would be there before too much damage was done.

————

The earth continued to shake as creatures were formed out of the ground, all vicious claws and teeth, spikes lining their spines. They began attacking and of the enemy forces they came in contact with, ripping them to shreds. Mikasa fell backwards, hand coming to cover her the horror she felt. Armin grabbed on to her, eyes wide.

“What do we do against that?” Connie wondered aloud, paling at the shear amount of carnage lining the streets.

“Well, they don’t seem to be attacking Eldians.” Armin offered helpfully.

“I don’t really want to test that out.” Jean admitted, though they wouldn’t really have much choice.

“There.” Armin pointed to the spot where Eren and Zeke had disappeared. There was a looming, skeletal figure, the face reminiscent of Eren’s other form. “Maybe Eren is there. If we can reach him then maybe we can stop him.”

It was an optimistic plan, but it was all they had left.

The creatures formed from the earth weren’t just there to kill enemies of Eldia, for as soon as they started to approach the skeletal version of Eren, the attacks came from all sides and even with their ODM gear, it was hard to get past them.

Something didn’t feel right about it all, if Eren had been in control, he would have made sure they were safe, wouldn’t he? Armin started to wonder if maybe Eren was being controlled but maybe it hadn’t been Zeke behind it, it would have to be someone even more powerful.

He didn’t have much time to dwell on it though, for Hange and Levi joined them, landing next to them to begin fighting off the vicious beasts.

“Captain! Commander!” They were relieved to have the two veterans back, especially with all the chaos happening around them.

“You’re all still alive, good.” Levi commented, doing a quick head count.

“What’s going on?” Hange questioned, since they had just ran head on into the danger. Armin reported his suspicions to the commander and they devised a plan.

————

They had run low on thunder spears and the gas was almost out for their gear too. The more of the creatures that were destroyed, the more would crop up again to take the place of the ones they took down. The closer they were to Eren, the more were present.

If they went along with plan B, they could end the war before the world outside their island ceased to exist, but Hange looked at the faces of those kids, they wanted to save Eren despite everything that he had done and it seemed like the right time, the right thing to do.

Levi caught her eye as she started to bundle together the last of their thunder spears. “Hange.” He said, already figuring out what she was doing before she said anything.

“Hey, Levi, do you think they’re watching us? Will we be able to stand tall among our dead comrades?” Hange’s question was quiet so that only he could hear.

“Don’t start talking like him to...” Levi muttered, feeling for the second time that day bile rise in his throat, but the effects of the doomsday serum were already wearing off. He knew it was because she was going to do something stupid and heroic, to make her feel like she had made a difference as Commander, even though there was no way of telling whether it would make any difference at all.

Hange stepped up to the edge of the roof they were on, sliding the pack of thunder spears over her back. “I led us all to this point so I will take responsibility in clearing the way.” She placed a hand on Armin’s shoulder. “Armin Arlert, I hearby appoint you as 15th commander of the Survey Corps. I’m leaving them in your hands.”

Armin’s eyes widened as he realized why she was handing over command to him, it was going to be a suicide mission. She tried to play it off like it wasn’t serious, adding that Armin was now Levi’s superior, but no one found humor in it.

“Hey, four eyes.” Levi stepped forward before Hange could leave. He had to send her off in his own way.

Hange started to babble, afraid that Levi would try to talk her out of it. “You understand, right? It’s my turn now. I want to look cool in front of the kids so let me go, will you?”

Levi was unable to meet her eyes, knowing they would betray the heartache. “Dedicate your heart.” He said, his hand making a fist and bumping the spot above her heart. It wasn’t just a salute, otherwise Levi would have touched his own heart. It was the best form of a confession that he could muster in that moment.

Hange froze, the words and the action settling in, realizing what Levi had been trying to convey. She swallowed, waiting until Levi dropped his hand and started walking away before she could say anything.

“Ha ha! That’s the first time I ever heard you say that.” She jumped off the roof before she could second guess herself, hoping Levi understood what she had meant.

_You should have said it sooner._

The last thing she heard before she threw herself among the monsters below and set off the explosion, was the kids calling her name.

————

Blood everywhere, drenching their skin and Mikasa couldn’t even keep track of whose it was anymore. She was running on pure adrenaline, flying through the air, blades swinging and tearing apart flesh. She knew her friends were struggling more to keep up with the sheer number of monsters attacking them. Hange’s explosion had initially helped them get closer but it hadn’t done enough for them to reach Eren.

Levi had grabbed Connie out of the way of danger but had injured his leg in the process, unable to even stand on it. Armin was grabbed by one of the creatures before anyone could stop them, giant teeth sinking into the back of his neck.

“Mikasa! Take it!” He screamed, pulling the box from his pocket and throwing it towards her. She caught it and sliced through the monster that had dared to attack Armin with a wild cry, but it was too late.

Armin fell to the ground with thump, life fading from his eyes.

“Armin!” Jean yelled, landing not far from Mikasa. Mikasa froze, tears building in her eyes. She was too late, there were too many of them. She looked around, seeing the hopeless situation.

Connie was trying to defend Levi, who was bleeding a startling amount from his injured leg. Ymir was pulled into a group of the creatures, her wild thrashing of claws and teeth not enough to keep them from tearing her apart. Historia was left unguarded.

“Mikasa,” Jean said, grabbing her shoulders and shaking her. “How many more have to die before we stop him?” He demanded, bringing reality back to her. “If you can’t do it, then I will.”

Mikasa was still struggling with the idea of having no options left. She was there to save Eren, to bring him home.

“We don’t have time!” Jean stressed, the creatures were advancing on Historia and she was still crying over Ymir’s death.

“Do it for Emi.” Jean tried another line of reasoning and Mikasa finally snapped her eyes up to meet Jean’s. That was right, what kind of world would be left for Emi if she didn’t do something?

She ran to the side and reached for Historia, grabbing her just in time to save her from the jaws of a monster.

The contact brought them both to the coordinate realm and two figures were visible in front of them. The founder and Eren, both with blank eyes.

Mikasa ran forward, reaching for Eren. “Eren!” She grabbed on to him, burying her face in his chest. “Please stop, just come home, they’re all dying...you will have nothing left to protect.”

It didn’t matter how much she begged, Eren was unreachable. “I can’t stop, you’re going to have to kill me.” Eren replied, grabbing onto the serum in Mikasa’s hands as if he knew what it was and he wanted her to use it. He wanted to die.

“No, please...” Mikasa begged, tears streaming down her cheeks. Her hands shook as Eren guided the needle to his neck.

“It’s a cruel world.” Eren said, forcing her hand to pierce his skin, emptying the contents of the syringe. Mikasa could have stopped him, she knew she was strong enough but she had let him guide her through the motions. As the poison took hold, Eren’s hand dropped to his side and his eyes cleared, returning to green.

“Mikasa.” Eren choked out, his head falling forward to bump against her forehead. “Thank you.” He whispered, finally free. Mikasa shook with grief, wrapping her arms around his neck.

“I love you.” She said, gently smoothing her fingers through his hair and pressing their lips together. He kissed back for as long as he could until his legs gave out and he fell to the ground, coughing up blood, the crimson staining her uniform.

She held his head in her lap through the painful tremors until they ceased. Her heart ached in her chest as she realized he was truly gone. She cried out, holding him against her chest, sobs wracking her body.

She didn’t notice when Historia stepped up behind her, placing a hand on her shoulder, her eyes holding a sympathetic understanding. They were back home, in the middle of the wreckage, but Mikasa couldn’t register anything that was happening around her.

————

Jean did his best to save them, grabbing Connie and Levi while Mikasa and Historia handled Eren. Jean used his shirt to tie around Levi’s leg to stop the bleeding. It wouldn’t do much for long but hopefully would slow the bleeding enough to make it past the worst of the battle. Connie coughed next to them, clutching his abdomen.

“Connie, you’re hurt? Why didn’t you say anything?” Jean turned to the other boy, quickly checking his injuries. One of the creatures had clawed him, the sight of the wound was enough to make Jean’s stomach churn.

“How bad is it?” Connie asked, voice strained. Jean was quite sure his face had already conveyed the answer. He wasn’t a doctor but he knew enough to know that it wasn’t good.

Connie seemed to understand, grabbing on to Jean’s arm. “Hey, don’t worry. I’m going to go meet Sasha.” Jean tried to hold back his anguish for Connie’s sake.

“Yeah, she probably misses you.” He knew his voice was shaking as he said it. He would miss them all. How had he survived? He had joined the Survey Corps knowing he most likely wouldn’t live into adulthood and yet he was there, left behind while all of his friends died on the battlefield.

“He’s already gone.” Levi said, head turned towards them. His eyes held a sorrow, a defeat in them. It was the same look he always had when he failed to save his squad. Those brats were supposed to make it. If only he had been at his full potential.

Jean felt so overwhelmed with pain that he couldn’t even make a sound, everything felt like it was caught in his chest, suffocating him.

————

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please hold on through the next chapter, I know this one is a lot but I promise you this isn’t how the story ends. Thank you for all the support so far and I hope you enjoy the twist coming your way!


	21. Chapter 21

In the aftermath of the broken world Eren had left them with, there was very little refuge for them. Jean had always kept in touch and stopped by to check on them, but he never lingered long. Perhaps it was too painful to see Mikasa so withdrawn from life or to feel the empty gaps in their group that were once filled with their comrades, their makeshift family.

Levi had taken on the role of raising Emi when it was clear Mikasa was struggling. The medication helped some but nothing really numbed the pain.

“I brought something for you.” Levi said to a nine year old Emi, watching her green eyes light up with excitement. He presented her with a small stack of books, some of Hange’s old books, including all her notes and a few drawings as well. It turned out that Emi loved them and was thrilled by getting to know the funny science lady through reading the books. She didn’t have any friends, it was too dangerous to let anyone get close to her. Enough enemies had survived Eren’s attack on the world to go after Emi if they found out she was his daughter, so Levi had insisted on going into hiding.

“Thank you, Uncle Levi!” She squealed, wrapping her arms around his middle and hugging tight. He smiled, ruffling her dark hair. She was like a little ray of sunshine in the darkness. He wasn’t really sure how she was such a happy child with how her life had gone so far but he tried to shield her from the worst of it.

“You’re welcome, brat.” His tone was affectionate, the bond between them definitely like family. She scurried off with the books, eager to dig into their contents and learn more.

Levi waited until she was out of sight before turning his eyes towards Mikasa’s room. He moved over to the slightly ajar door and knocked before entering.

Mikasa was laying on her side with her back facing the door, completely silent. He could tell she was awake by the movement of her shoulders but she didn’t make any effort to greet him.

“You stopped taking your meds.” His observation was met with silence. She had been battling depression and PTSD, which none of them had been a stranger to, but it took the hardest hit on her. Maybe it was how similar Emi’s eyes were to Eren’s or something like that, but she had a hard time spending time with her daughter since his death.

“She’s a really good kid, Mikasa. You once said she was the most important person in your life. You should act like it...for her sake.” He knew there was only so much that could been done, they all handled their grief differently. It wasn’t like he was an expert on healthy ways to handle his own.

Mikasa shifted to bury her face in her pillow but still didn’t say anything.

“Fine.” Levi slammed the door shut when he exited the room, running a hand over his face to try and reduce the tension that settled between his brows.

Emi looked over at him from her place on the couch, her lips turned down into a frown. “She’s not coming out today, is she?”

“No.” Levi answered softly, frustrated that he didn’t know how to say something more comforting. He still wasn’t good with expressing himself but it was fine, because Emi understood him.

Emi tried to hide her disappointment, but she was still just a kid who wanted her mother. “I see. Should I draw her a picture?”

Levi nodded, moving to grab her art supplies for her. Emi had already drawn so many pictures for Mikasa’s wall, pictures of birds that sang pretty and funny looking bugs, whatever fascinated her. She always wanted to share it with Mikasa, since she rarely went outside.

————

At seventeen, Emi suffered from her first panic attack.She had stumbled and put a hand to her chest, unable to get a breath in past her lips. It felt like her throat was closing up and her heart was beating wildly in her chest. She slid to the floor, gasping and crying.

That was how Jean found her when he stopped by to check on them. He felt guilty, he hadn’t stopped by in a long time. He had been trying to stay busy to keep his own demons at bay so they didn’t swallow him whole. He hadn’t realized how much Emi had been struggling to keep positive.

Jean had quickly come to her aid, pulling her against his chest and smoothing a hand through her hair until her breathing evened again and the overwhelming fear subsided.

“Stay with me, please.” She had whispered, her hands fisting in his shirt. Jean thought that she would grow out of needing him there to calm her, which didn’t turn out to be the case.

They would settle in front of the fireplace and Jean would tell her stories of life before everything had been torn apart. Sometimes it was about funny pranks that Connie and Sasha roped him in to, sometimes it was the stupid fights he had with Eren, sometimes it was more serious things like talking about their deaths or how much he missed them. They spent many nights either laughing or crying together but it always ended the same, Emi would fall asleep against Jean’s shoulder and he would carry her to bed.

It became so routine that sometimes Jean would sleep on the couch in the living room rather than go to his own home.

Slowly, the darkness in Emi’s life didn’t feel so overwhelming and her panic attacks were less frequent. She didn’t want their moments to end though, they were the only thing bringing light in the darkness.

Levi noticed that things had changed before Jean did, startled to find Jean there so often during his visits.

“Why all the sudden?” He had asked, regarding Jean with an unreadable expression.

Jean wasn’t really sure how to answer, since he himself didn’t really know. He wanted to claim he was just helping her with her anxiety and panic attacks, but he knew that wasn’t entirely the case.

“It’s not my place to say, I’m not her father,” Levi had said, “but I will dismember you if you hurt her.”

Jean hadn’t really understood what Levi had said then, he had just been unnerved by such a threat and the implication that he would dare ever hurt her.

At eighteen, Emi asked a question very unexpectedly.

“Have you ever been in love, Jean?” She was staring into the flames, her knees brought up to her chest, arms wrapped around them.

Jean leaned back, glancing at Emi. Had she met someone? Would he have to give her relationship advice? He didn’t really have much to say on that front, never having been in one. He’d had a few encounters with both men and women but he wasn’t sure he knew how to feel love anymore. The nightmares that kept him up at night still caused him to wake in a sweat, screaming.

“Once.” Jean answered, the corner of his lips turning up in a smile. “I didn’t really know that was the case until he was gone. I was too busy chasing after your mother to understand what I was missing.”

Emi looked over at Jean through her bangs. She knew Jean had harbored a crush on her mother for years but the one he loved had to be...

“Marco?” She asked.

Emi was perceptive, she always had been. It wasn’t that hard to see that he had harbored some feelings for Marco though, when he still felt his loss even in his thirties.

“He inspired me to join the Corps. He made me want to be a better man so if he was watching from somewhere, maybe he would see that and be proud.” Jean shook his head, knowing it was stupid to feel that way, Marco had no idea of anything that happened after his death. No one did.

It was all just empty, the end. And it was a cold, bitter end.

“Jean.” Emi crawled over, much closer than she had been before. “You are an amazing man.” She whispered, eyes shining with sincerity. Jean felt himself getting caught up in their emerald depths.

“You make me stronger every day. You inspire me to keep living even though it’s hard.” She cupped his jaw with both hands, the space gradually closing between them. “I don’t know what I would do without you, Jean.”

Jean tensed, suddenly coming to the realization that she was confessing to him. She was in love with him. He didn’t really know what to do with that, he certainly knew it wasn’t something he should encourage. She was nineteen years younger than him, which was absolutely crazy. How could she possibly feel that way about him?

“Jean...” Emi’s voice trembled with a combination of nerves and emotion. He sucked in a breath, reaching up to gently push her away when her lips were suddenly on his. Jean reflexively closed his eyes to the touch, relishing in the warmth he felt from her lips and her love. He hadn’t realized how starved for affection he was until that moment. His brows knit together in conflict, knowing they had to stop, but she kept pressing forward, moving her lips gently, timidly over his.

He turned his head finally, his intense, honey colored eyes meeting Emi’s. He felt conflicted because he really didn’t want to stop, he definitely didn’t want to hurt her. As much as she got from their moments together, Jean also felt healed. He hadn’t felt that comfortable around someone in a long time.

“Emi, we can’t.” He settled on giving excuses since he couldn’t say he didn’t feel the same because frankly, he wasn’t sure what he felt but it definitely was making his heart beat fast and his eyes drift to her lips. “We shouldn’t.”

“Why not?” She countered, her lips drawing down into a frown. It wasn’t exactly a rejection but she knew it would come. The age difference between them was taboo, but who really would give a rat’s ass? Mikasa was hardly responsive to anything anymore. Levi had been like a father figure for her but ever since she was old enough to take care of herself, his visits were less frequent. They could always keep it secret from him.

Jean searched for answers, though he knew his arguments would fall thin. “I can’t disrespect your mother and the memory of your father by pursuing anything with you.”

Emi sat back suddenly, gaze growing cold. “You think loving me would be something shameful?” She turned her head away to hide the hot, bitter tears that fell down her cheeks. “Sorry for tempting you with something so dirty and obscene. My parents definitely wouldn’t have wanted me to be happy in this hellhole.” She snapped, pushing herself up off the floor to take her leave.

Jean grabbed her wrist, stopping her. She was strong enough to pull away if she wanted to but she didn’t.

“I do have feelings for you and I am attracted to you.” He admitted. How could he not notice how she had grown into a beautiful young woman? Of course with her parents she was bound to be a sight to behold. She had that long silky, black hair he had always admired on Mikasa before she had cut it. Her eyes held the intensity of Eren, but none of the anger. She wasn’t angry at the world and she should have been.

Instead, she tried her best to be hopeful, to persevere through.

If Jean helped her with that, then he had to consider her feelings. He couldn’t see her fire go out.

Emi looked down at him, cautious to let her guard down again.

Jean sighed, bringing her wrist to his lips to place a kiss there. She shivered, closing her eyes at the contact.

“We’ll take things slow, I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“Is it just me that’s vulnerable to getting hurt?” She asked, sinking back down to his side. She caught him there. She was really too good at arguing, she was much better at it than Eren had ever been.

“Fine, just kiss me then.” He gave in, pulling Emi back in to meet his lips. He didn’t hesitate to participate that time, giving in to the heat and softness of her lips.

————

Jean and Emi had been out together, unaware that Mikasa had been having a bad day until they walked in the house.

Everything was destroyed. Furniture had been throw across the room and walls had holes. It was a complete disaster.

“Mom!” Emi immediately panicked, worrying something had happened. She found Mikasa sitting in the middle of the living room with her knees to her chest, rocking and mumbling to herself. She had to approach with caution when Mikasa was having an episode. Even though she looked so much more frail than she had in her military days, her strength was still nothing to be underestimated.

“Mom, it’s me, Emi.” She said, slowly approaching Mikasa’s huddled form. Mikasa turned weary grey eyes on her, recognition registering after some time.

“Emi, you’re alive!” She cried out, tears streaming down her cheeks. “I thought I lost you. I thought they had taken you.” Her shoulders were shaking so Emi hugged her tight.

“I’m fine, everything is ok.” She whispered, watching Jean enter the room and lean against the wall.

“Jean is here too.” Emi said, gently rubbing Mikasa’s back. “He’s also alive and well.”

“Jean?” Mikasa looked over at him, smiling in relief. Jean pushed off the wall and approached them, kneeling next to Mikasa.

“I’m sorry, Emi was with me, I should have known to get her back sooner.” He apologized, already feeling guilt build because Mikasa didn’t know why he had kept Emi away and it killed him not to tell her but he was unsure what news she could handle.

A moment of clarity registered in Mikasa and her face fell, realizing she was a burden for her daughter again. She couldn’t expect her to spend her whole life walking on eggshells around her.

“No, I’m sorry, I couldn’t stop.” She looked down in defeat, wishing she could find a way to escape the darkness, a way to escape the past that haunted her.

“Why don’t you rest and wait for me to make you something to eat.” Emi said, gently urging Mikasa to rise to her feet. She led her mother back to her room and got her settled again before quietly shutting the door behind her.

A solemn silence followed between the two of them.

Emi felt tears begin to well in her eyes, just so tired of trying to be strong.

“Hey, it will be alright.” Jean tried to comfort her, brushing away a few escaped tears. His words sounded like a lie even to his own ears.

“Jean.” Emi breathed, gripping the front of his shirt. “I can’t do this anymore.”

He froze, the gravity of her words weighing heavy in the air.

“I have to change it... the timeline.” Her hands shook but she was determined, she had to do it for them, for her parents. Jean stayed quiet, knowing he would support her no matter what she decided to do. He trusted her, she had wisdom beyond her years, a life like the one she lived had given her that.

They had talked about her time traveling when they had discovered she shared the same ability as Eren had possessed. It had always seemed like too much of a risk for them to try it but she really only had one thing left to sacrifice.

“If I go back, we’ll lose this.” Emi whispered, closing her eyes as more tears fell down her cheeks. “You won’t remember loving me, the you in this timeline will cease to exist.”

Warm lips were on hers again and she released a shuddering breath. He kissed her until she calmed down like he always did. She would miss that, more than anything.

“I’m sure I could love you again.” Jean’s words were sweet and welcome, even if she doubted that under different circumstances that they would have ventured down that road.

It was enough to give her strength though, enough to give her the resolve to follow through.

That night she watched him fall asleep next to her for last time and she leaned over to kiss his cheek as a farewell.

“Good bye, Jean.” She whispered, sliding a knife across her palm before she could begin to doubt her actions. There was no guarantee that she could stop it from happening again but she couldn’t live with herself if she didn’t try.

———

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just to clarify, Emi never viewed Jean as a father figure, that was more Levi’s role in her life. I know the age difference will be upsetting to some people but I think their relationship is sweet. There won’t be much about their relationship after this chapter so if it isn’t an element you care for, don’t overly worry about it. I’m going to be focusing more on the time traveling aspect in future chapters.


	22. Chapter 22

She knew enough from the stories Jean had told her where she had needed to go first. The scene that appeared before her eyes was a shock to her system. The city of Liberio materialized before her, already in the process of being torn apart by her father.

She exhaled, setting her sights first on disabling the weapons that would release the doomsday serum. She came across a fallen soldier from the Scouts, noting that the size of her uniform would work for her.

“Sorry about this.” She apologized as she set to work on stealing her uniform and gear.

Knowing her disguise would draw a lot of unwanted conflict, Emi took to hiding in the shadows and ducking behind buildings until she reached each spot that she knew had contained an active bomb.

It had been easy until she got too close to the center of the conflict, her eyes landing on the pair in the middle of it all. It was the first time she had seen her father and she knew who he was instantly. She choked back her tears, her mother was right beside him, already so heartbroken but she still had life in her eyes. She still had a will to live.

“I won’t let you down, mother.” She whispered, taking a deep breath.

She waited until everyone made it back to the airship and the weapon failed to detonate. Sasha made it into the airship unharmed, her life spared from her previous fate.

Emi raced to the collapsed building Eren had brought down around Reiner and started digging. She had to hurry, being dressed as a soldier from Paradis would be very detrimental now that there wasn’t anyone to cover her back.

“Come on, Reiner, it’s not your time to go.” She whispered, finally coming into contact with a hand. She tugged and pulled the blond man from the rubble. He looked rough, like he was barely hanging on, but she knew he had the ability to heal. He was just choosing not to.

“Snap out of it!” She slapped him hard. “You don’t get to leave hell just yet.”

Reiner stirred, opening his eyes to look at her. “Who the hell are you?” He croaked, voice hoarse.

“Get up.” Emi pulled Reiner up out of the rubble and he got a better look at her, something eerily familiar about her. The green of her eyes was exactly like Eren’s.

He stumbled back in shock, still traumatized by what had just happened.

She sighed, kneeling down next to him. “Fine, I’m Emi Ackerman and I’m the world’s only hope so get your shit together and help me find a disguise.”

Reiner tensed at the name, recognizing it as Mikasa’s surname.

“You’re going to have to explain better than that.”

She smirked, nodding. “I will, after we get to safety.”

————

After explaining who she was and where she came from, Reiner agreed to help her with the rest of her plan. What choice did they have? The world that had resulted from Eren’s decision hadn’t been anything that they wanted.

They stopped at the hospital first, Emi changing into a doctor coat to enter Annie’s room. Hitch turned to face her, eyeing the stranger suspiciously.

“Who are you?” She asked, sure that she hadn’t seen a doctor like that before.

“Dr. Yeager, you’re welcome to look me up in the system.” Emi replied, challenging Hitch to try and stop her. Hitch hesitated, glancing at Annie and back at Emi.

“Fine, I’ll be right back.” She agreed, leaving the room to check the paperwork for Dr. Yeager’s credentials.

As soon as she was out of sight, Reiner slipped into the room and kept an eye on the door. Emi pulled out a syringe and moved to take Annie’s arm, injecting the Ackerman serum into her.

“Armin would probably kick himself for not realizing how it easy it was to cure you.” Emi commented aloud as she waited for the serum to take effect. Zeke had been keeping Annie in her inactive state so blocking his power over her should be enough to wake her. Annie stirred and opened her icy blue eyes for the first time in years. She snapped into action, immediately propelling forward and putting her hands around Emi’s neck.

Reiner turned his attention away from the door and was ready to jump to the raven haired girl’s defense when Emi flipped Annie over and pinned her down.

“Cool it, we’re here to help you. Right, Reiner?” Emi said, directing Annie’s attention to her old comrade. Annie glanced over at Reiner, relaxing slightly.

“He’ll catch you up to speed but we have got to move.” Emi slowly let off on the pressure and let Annie get up on her own. Annie seemed disoriented still, but it seemed having Reiner present had dispelled some of her anxiety upon waking.

“I’m Emi Ackerman, Mikasa’s daughter.” Emi introduced, offering her hand.

“How long have I been out?” Annie wondered, observing the age of the girl. She took the offered hand and stood up.

“It’s a long story.”

————

A letter was anonymously sent to Hange, prompting her for a secret meeting in the woods to avoid enemy ears with some crucial information about the plan Zeke and Eren were working on. She knew it could be a trap but they didn’t have any other leads so she decided to call together a small group with the rest of squad Levi, minus Levi, since he was with the group guarding Zeke.

They sat around a fire, waiting for the contact to meet them.

Three figures approached, two immediately recognizable as Annie and Reiner, and the third was definitely not familiar.

“Annie!” Armin exclaimed, positively floored by the appearance of the girl he had been visiting for years, finally awake and well. She met his eyes and blushed, tucking some blonde hair behind her ear. She remembered his visits even if her brain hadn’t shown activity on the monitors. That was something to address at a later time though.

They eyed Reiner wearily, since the last time they encountered him, he’d been on the opposing side. Reiner visibly flinched at the sight of Mikasa, still haunted by the ferocity of her attacks the last time they had met.

“We’re not here for conflict so everyone can calm down.” Emi said, stepping forward into the light of the fire. It was eerie to look around at those surrounding them: Hange, Armin, Sasha and Connie, all had only existed in stories for her. They were alive, in the flesh, and so were the younger versions of Mikasa and Jean.

Emi felt a familiar constricting of her throat, panic setting in. She wasn’t sure how she would react when faced with them, but the anxiety started to overwhelm her and she was doubling over in no time, gasping for breath.

“Are you ok?” Hange asked, startled by the stranger’s reaction to meeting them.

“Guess I’m not the only one having mental breakdowns.” Reiner observed, earning a glare fromEmi.

What she didn’t expect was to feel Mikasa’s hands on her shoulders, her mother looking into her eyes.

“Emi?” She asked, eyes widening with recognition.

Emi choked on a sob and lunged forward into Mikasa’s arms, clinging on to her. “M-mom...” was her reply, voice shaky. Mikasa immediately drew her into a hug. It was the first time since her childhood that Mikasa had hugged her in return.

The panic disappeared and Emi relaxed into Mikasa’s hold, a stunned silence settling in the group.

“Wait, that’s Emi?” Connie asked, jaw dropping. “But she’s...” he gestured at how tall she had gotten, very confused.

“From eighteen years from now, yes.” Emi confirmed, reluctantly drawing away from her mother. She actively kept her gaze away from Jean’s as she addressed everyone else, she didn’t need to distract herself with her own heartache. “It’s so nice to finally meet you all.”

Sasha jumped up to also hug Emi, squeezing her tight. “Oh, you’re so grown up!”

“Wait, if you’re just meeting us now and you’re from the future...” Armin trailed off, realizing the grim reality.

“Ah, yeah, most of you are dead in my timeline.” Emi confirmed, not exactly good at filtering her words. By the looks on their faces that was probably not the best thing to say. “My mom, Levi and Jean live... they never really recovered from what happened.”

“What does happen?” Hange asked, utterly fascinated to be speaking with someone from the future.

Emi parted her lips, eyes darting around the group before she quickly looked down again. “I mean, I only know what Jean told me about what happened. My mom and Levi never talked about it.” She quickly pulled out a flask of whiskey and took a long sip, hands trembling.

“Eren’s plan is a mass genocide of all those outside of this island.” Annie supplied, since Emi was barely holding back her panic attacks again.

“No, Eren wouldn’t...” Mikasa’s face fell, a swirl of disbelief and doubt crossing her features.

“We don’t really know what he’s thinking right now.” Jean reminded her. His voice prompted Emi to take another gulp of whiskey.

“Why would he do that?” Connie wondered aloud.

“He wants to protect us.” Armin guessed, his worst fears confirmed. Eren thought he was doing something that would benefit them but clearly that backfired in the future.

“I don’t think that’s entirely the case.” Emi finally spoke up again. “I did a lot of research into the founder, Ymir, and I think that my father is definitely not completely in control.”

“Ah, that would make sense.” Hange tapped her chin in thought. “So how do we stop him?”

“That I can answer.” Emi sat down around the fire and began explaining her plan to them, glad to be finally in her element, taking strategy rather than facing things she wasn’t ready for.

————

The next priority was meeting up with the group watching over Zeke. Emi had found the hidden bomb containing the doomsday serum and tucked it under her arm, heading in the direction of Zeke’s tent. She reached for the flap on the entrance when an intimidating presence was felt behind her.

“Where do you think you’re going?” She turned to look at Levi, his eyes narrowed suspiciously in her direction. His gaze darted to the object under her arm, suddenly on high alert. His hand reached for his gun when Hange suddenly threw her arm over Emi’s shoulder.

“Levi! I haven’t introduced you to our new recruit yet!” She grinned at Levi, full to the brim with enthusiasm. “This is Emi Ackerman. Do you think she’s a relative of yours?”

Levi tensed, looking more closely at Emi before he suddenly understood the situation. His eyes softened and he nodded. “Yeah, she’s family.” He confirmed, stepping aside.

Hange smiled, guiding Emi into the tent. She would wait outside with Levi just in case any enemies were present in the camp while Emi got her chance to talk. Zeke was still there, his limbs almost completely healed. Emi placed the bomb in the middle of the room, watching as he observed the weapon and immediately grew weary.

“Uncle.” Emi greeted cheerily, standing up straight. “We have a lot to discuss. You should listen carefully, since you know this weapon is about to go off in ten minutes.”

“I’m listening.” Zeke answered, already knowing who he was talking to, between the eyes and the radio silence in her head. There was only one option. “I had heard he had a child with that Ackerman girl but I didn’t know if they were rumors until now.”

“I’m real and as you can figure out, things don’t go smoothly for you in the future. I’m here to propose an alliance against Eren Yeager.” Her words were met with a soft chuckle.

“You’re seeking my help? You must be desperate.” Zeke knew Eren wasn’t fond of him, their alliance only held by a thin string of necessity.

“You don’t want the world that Eren leaves us.” Emi answered, gaze lowering as she remembered the horrors of her timeline. “There’s another way. A way we can both get what we want. We need to stop my father from ever getting the power of the coordinate. We need to make sure I go there instead.”

Zeke turned his gaze back to the bomb in the middle of the room, knowing time was running out.

“Oh, don’t worry, I disabled that ages ago.” Emi laughed, kicking the bomb across the room. “Well, we know that I can survive as an Ackerman but you...”

“It’s a deal.” Zeke quickly made the agreement, quite sure he was just as intimidated by the unnerving laughter from Emi as he was by Levi’s death glare. They really weren’t to be played with. The Ackerman bloodline was something else entirely.

“Nice chat.” Emi bent down to retrieve the vial of doomsday serum and pocketed it. “I’ll keep this if it’s alright with you.”

————

Eren still escaped from his cell with the help of the Yeagerists and they made sure everything played out like it would have before. Except Emi was there when Eren entered the room to be an absolute dickhead to Mikasa and Armin.

She crossed her arms as Eren entered the room, watching him with his guarded mask on.

“Take a seat and put your hands on the desk.” Eren instructed before he spotted Emi, freezing in his tracks.

“Hey, dad.” Emi greeted, pulling herself to sit up on the desk. “Why don’t you take a seat?”

Eren’s mask completely fell, shocked by the sight of his daughter. His eyes softened at the sight of her, totally unprepared to face her and he definitely wasn’t expecting to see a grown version, which had to mean she had time travelled to meet him.

She pointed to a chair, still too guarded to greet him with any warmth or affection. He hadn’t been there for her so she didn’t feel any particular way about confronting him. She only knew that her mother had been thoroughly heartbroken after his death so she had to prevent that.

Eren sat down, still too thrown off to argue.

“I don’t know what you have planned to say to Armin and mom, but whatever you say in here breaks her heart. I can’t have that.” Emi felt her anger growing the more she talked, all of the built up resentment coming to the forefront. “You won’t get to play god today, deciding who willlive or die. You don’t get to make that call. Freedom isn’t the destruction of the enemy but the absence of hate.”

Eren tensed at her words, realizing that it was an intervention of sorts. They were going to trap him. “The absence of hate isn’t possible with mankind. That’s why I have to intervene.”

“It’s not going to go the way you planned.” Emi’s voice shook as she told him what had happened, how many of their comrades had died, how Mikasa slipped into depression, how she had spent most of her childhood lonely, how she had sacrificed the love of her life in order to stop him.

Mikasa and Armin stayed quiet beside her, letting her carry on with her rant until she was too emotionally exhausted to say any more. Mikasa placed a hand on her shoulder, giving a little squeeze. She never wanted to become the woman Emi described, she didn’t want to fail her like that again.

Eren stared into the distance, face unreadable once more. Faced with those facts, he had to reconsider his actions. “It would have gone the way I planned if you hadn’t tried to stop me. Because all of you left the safety of that cell, I could no longer protect you.”

“Eren, don’t be ridiculous, Emi says there’s another way.” Armin spoke up, distressed that Eren didn’t seem to be getting it. “Why can’t we try it?”

“There is no other way!” Eren’s eyes flashed with anger and he stood up. “This time I will make sure none of you leave.”

“I’m sorry, dad. I don’t think your little minions are a match for my team.” Emi stood as well and strode across the room to knock on the door as a signal for her backup to enter. The door swung open and Annie and Reiner entered, blocking the exit.

“We know what you tried to do with Liberio and we’re not too happy about it.” Reiner said, holding his hand up to show the blood seeping from the wound. Annie had her ring on her finger, ready to slice at any minute.

Seeing his former enemies, Eren turned on Armin and Mikasa. “You’re handing me over to them? Are you siding with Marley right now?”

“We’re siding with humanity.” Armin answered.

“Remember you don’t have to hurt him, just restrain him enough that he can’t leave.” Emi whispered to Annie and Reiner. “I’m not going to ask either of you to take any more lives. The rest of us will fight off the Yeagerists until I can get to Zeke.”

———-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I received some backlash for the last chapter and I feel like it really killed my enthusiasm for this series. I am doing a little better now, but I’m still feeling really bummed about it. There’s only one more chapter and then an epilogue so I will finish the story. 
> 
> Emi/Jean wasn’t even supposed to be that big of a part of the story. It was really just a chapter for background purposes. I don’t know who needs to hear this but they have a relationship with two consenting adults of legal age that aren’t related so I don’t have a problem with it but I’m sorry if you do.


	23. Chapter 23

It didn’t take long for the Yeagerists to figure out something was wrong and Eren wasn’t coming out to meet Zeke as planned. Just as before, the enemies were closing in as well, making it more difficult to reach the destination. This time, however, they had a fully functional Levi in their midst. It became very clear when squad Levi was meeting resistance from the Yeagerists, that there were now three soldiers with exceptional talents.

Levi and Mikasa took on the majority of the defensive maneuvers though, Emi still resistant to the idea of hurting anyone. Despite what her bloodline was designed for, she didn’t want to become that. She didn’t want to be a killer.

But everyone had a breaking point.

As Emi made her way towards the meeting point, she sped through the streets on the ODM gear, solely focused on her goal until something told her to look to the side. Several of the squad members were fighting off the resistance from the Yeagerists and Jean had taken a bullet to his shoulder, falling onto the roof with a grunt of pain.

The solider who attacked him was approaching, aiming more shots at him. Emi narrowed her eyes and changed her course. There was no way she was going to let anything happen to him, not after all she had been through to get to that point.

She jumped onto the roof in front of Jean and shot the attacker between the eyes, a perfect deadly shot. Her hands shook, the impact of her actions hitting her all at once. She hadn’t killed before, she had always only aimed her blows to disarm but the idea of Jean being hurt kicked in an instinct to protect him at all costs.

“Are you ok?” She turned to Jean and rushed to his side. His teeth were grit in pain but otherwise it looked like nothing vital had been hit.

“I’ve been worse.” Jean replied, pushing himself up in a sitting position. Blood had already started to darken his uniform. “Probably can’t get far though.”

She nodded in agreement, pulling him behind some wooden crates to keep him out of view. She tore off a sleeve of her shirt, pressing it over the wound. “I’m going to get you help.”

“No, Emi, you need to focus on your mission. I’m not important right now.” Jean insisted, grabbing on to her wrist before she could get backup.

Emi looked back at him, something about that emotion in her eyes seemed so familiar. “You will always be important to me.” She said, pulling her wrist away and waving to get the attention of Connie, who happened to be passing by. Connie landed a few feet away and ran over to see what was going on.

“Jean’s been hurt, please make sure he’s covered until we can get him medical attention.”

Jean was struck speechless by her words and even more by her actions. She pressed a kiss to his cheek, before leaving him in his comrade’s hands. She was gone again so fast that Jean couldn’t even process what had happened. He felt his jaw go slack, wondering if he had also hit his head when he fell on the roof. Had he been imagining that?

Connie’s response proved that he had seen it too though. “What the hell was that?”

Jean didn’t answer, totally thrown off. He then realized where he’d seen the expression on her face before. Emi had looked at him with the same concern and longing Mikasa had always looked at Eren with. He released a shaky breath, knowing those feelings were much more dangerous than his wound.

————

Eren had transformed before Reiner or Annie could restrain him and they had ended up outside the headquarters. He put up a hard fight, having learned over time how to exploit their weak points. It was still two against one and Eren could only hold them off for so long without exhausting himself, so they fought, blows and kicks landing and Eren’s mutant form being injured over and over.

His tenacity never broke though, continuing to fight with wild roars of resistance. The Yeagerists found them in no time and were firing thunder spears at them, one lodging in Reiner’s armor and doing extensive damage. Desperate, knowing they had little choice left, Annie open her mouth to deliver one of her screams when an image of the coordinate flashed before all of their minds, halting the attack.

Emi and Zeke must have met up and it was about to start.

Eren returned to his human form, eyes hollow as he realized he was too late.

————

“What took you so long?” Zeke asked in annoyance, once he spotted Emi landing near him. Emi gave him a withering glare and ran over, grabbing his hand.

“Let’s just get this over with.” She said, just as the world shifted around them. It was her first time visiting the coordinate realm but she knew what to expect. The girl was there, the founder, with her blank eyes staring at them.

“Hello, Ymir.” Emi approached the girl and knelt in front of her. “I need him back, my father. I’ll make a deal with you.”

Ymir didn’t respond, still staring blankly in the distance.

Emi reached out and took the girl’s hands in hers. “Aren’t you tired of being a slave to your own heritage? Of serving only those with royal blood? Let’s free you. All of us should be free of the hate and prejudice of our kind.” Ymir tilted her head towards Emi almost imperceptibly, showing that her interest was sparked.

Emi leaned in and whispered her plan to the girl. Whatever she said seemed to work because Ymir’s eyes returned to those of a normal girl, one who was overwhelmed by emotion. Emi smiled, pulling her into a hug. “It’s ok now, you won’t have to suffer anymore. You can be a hero and you can be free.”

“Zeke, you need to release Ymir so she can finally rest. She agreed to help us if we finally stop her suffering.” Emi said, continuing to hold on to Ymir so she wouldn’t feel alone when she finally was given peace.

Zeke nodded, going to Ymir’s side and touching the nape of her neck. “Your fight is over.” He said, watching as the girl closed her eyes and smiled.

The coordinate realm started fading away, the keeper passing on finally to peace.

“It’s done. She gave us another chance to be something better.” Emi said, while their reality materialized around them again. The world was eerily silent though, the fighting ceased.

————

Mikasa made her way back to Eren, heart beating hard in her chest. He had fallen to the ground, passed out from the sheer exhaustion and the passing of Ymir in the coordinate realm. Mikasa pulled Eren into her arms, holding her head against his chest to listen to his heart beat, much like she did years before. She released a breath when she heard the steady beat of his heart, overwhelmed with relief. He was alive and he could no longer hurt himself or others.

The squad came to meet up with them, all of them tired and relieved to finally have safety.

Emi had asked that all of the memories of Eldians be erased from history, all of the sins they committed and the genocide. They would be given a clean slate, a new start to establish themselves in a world that didn’t already hate them. It wasn’t a guarantee that they would never face war again, humans still had an inclination towards destruction no matter how much they claimed to want peace, but it was an opportunity to change things.

Before she left, Emi stopped by to watch the reunion of her parents, smiling softly. It wouldn’t be easy for things to return to normal, but it would happen. She gave them their best chance at happiness, she had kept her promise. It was enough for her.

She turned and headed into the darkness, without saying a word to anyone else.

————

All those who weren’t of Eldian decent had forgotten them, they had been erased from their history books and minds. All Eldians in the Marley Internment zone were told to “come home.” They boarded a ship to Paradis and no one questioned their desire to go to an unknown place.

Eren walked up the path to the house, a familiar figure coming in to sight. Mikasa was picking vegetables in the garden, clothed in the blue dress he had bought her years ago and barefoot. He had never seen anyone so beautiful before.

It had been a few months since Emi had embraced Ymir and made the request, so things had settled down since there wasn’t any reason to fight anymore. Mikasa had bought herself a little cottage and Eren had been recovering in the hospital for several weeks before he had woken up. He had undergone another military trial and thankfully was released without charges due to his remorse.

Something caught Mikasa’s attention and she lifted her head, holding on to her sun hat as she looked up the walkway to see Eren walking towards her. He looked tired, eyes haunted from the things he had done, but he was there, coming home.

She immediately dropped the basket of vegetables and started running down the path, a few chickens scattering out of the way. She reached him before long and wrapped her arms around his neck, her hat falling off as her lips met his. Even grabbed on to her desperately, holding on as if she’d disappear.

Tears mingled with their kisses, neither knowing whose tears they were. They pulled away from each other after a while, breathless and crying.

“Mikasa, I don’t deserve this welcome.” Eren choked, burying his face in her shoulder as he held her. “I’m not worthy of your love and I know that but I really want to try. I want to be there for you and Emi.”

Mikasa smiled, reaching up to soothingly stroke Eren’s back. “It’s ok, Eren. You’re here, you came home.” She held both sides of Eren’s face, making him open his eyes to look at her. “I love you so much. Don’t you ever doubt that my love isn’t strong enough ever again. Let me in, Eren.”

Eren’s emerald eyes searched hers, seeing the sincerity and tenderness. He nodded, resolving to trust her more. She wasn’t going anywhere and neither was he.

“Come in and see the baby. Levi is with her now.” Mikasa tugged at Eren’s hand, pulling him towards the little cottage. Eren followed, allowing Mikasa to lead him.

“Levi?”

“Yeah, you wouldn’t believe what a good babysitter he is. I have never seen a face that soft on the Captain.” Mikasa genuinely laughed and that light in her eyes was true happiness. Eren felt himself smile as well.

“Who knew? He has a soft spot for a human smaller than him.”

They entered the humble home and Eren was filled with warmth as he was reminded of coming home with Mikasa when they were kids. He finally had a family again.

Sure enough, Levi was in the house with baby Emi strapped to his chest, busy cleaning with one hand, while the other supported the tiny child while she slept. The image seemed a bit surreal, since Eren had never seen Levi that gentle with anything before.

“Did Uncle Levi take good care of you?” Mikasa cooed as she stepped over to Levi and gently brushed the back of her fingers against her cheek. Emi open her little eyes, blinking bright green orbs sleepily.

“Did you wash your hands?” Levi asked, eyeing Mikasa’s hand with distain. “You were digging around in the dirt.”

“She’s fine.” Mikasa said with a roll of her eyes. She picked her daughter up from the holder on Levi’s chest, making faces at the baby to get her to giggle.

Levi’s demeanor softened at the sound of the baby’s laughter before he turned to see Eren standing there. “Yeager.” He said, eyes narrowed. All the tenderness was gone and replaced with something more guarded.

Eren nodded his head in greeting, feeling out of place in the home suddenly. No doubt everyone still viewed him as a monster.

“Levi.” Mikasa warned, cradling Emi closer and giving the older man a pointed look. “Do you mind giving us a moment?”

Huffing softly, Levi decided to leave without conflict, but not before punching Eren’s shoulder on the way out. “About damn time.” He muttered, leaving the two alone with Emi’s happy gurgling.

Eren rubbed his shoulder, knowing he definitely deserved worse than that, but glad he wasn’t subject to more of Levi’s wrath. “Can I hold her?” He asked, timidly. Was he even allowed to with all that had happened?

Mikasa smiled down at her daughter fondly, nodding. “Emi, go see daddy now.”

Eren felt a mixture of nervousness and happiness as Mikasa handed the tiny human over, her green orbs curious as she stared up at her father’s unfamiliar face. Eren began to cry again, happy tears this time. He couldn’t believe he was holding her in his arms.

He tucked her against his chest and he felt her little hands grab onto his shirt. Warmth filled his heart, finally feeling at peace. They didn’t have to fight anymore.

“You’re free.” Eren said, looking across the room at Mikasa. She smiled at him in response, the love between them evident without saying a word.

————

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to dedicate this chapter to my beautiful readers who supported me this whole time, especially stargazer2369 and zireael_mikasa for giving me words of encouragement on my last chapter! You are angels *blows kisses*
> 
> There’s an epilogue coming soon that is just purely fluff (and a eremika smut scene) to make up for all the torture I put you all through with the angst and character death.


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Smut in this chapter~

For those that had spent the better part of their lives fighting, the quiet and peace seemed to be louder than the sounds of bombs and gun shots.

Levi sat, overlooking the water as ships came in, delivering more Eldians from the interment camps of Marley. He felt Hange settle next to him, knowing it was her before she said anything.

“Four eyes.” He greeted, dropping the honorifics.

“What happened to Commander?” She teased in response, holding out a cup of tea for him.

He took the offered cup, taking a small sip. The liquid was bitter, the tea bag having sat for too long. No doubt Hange was distracted while making it but it was a nice gesture. He continued to drink it, not giving away that he didn’t like the taste.

“We’re no longer needed.” Levi finally answered, setting the cup down between them.

Hange hummed in response, having thought about it too. Their military days seemed to be over, but she still had her medical practice.

“What will you do?” She inquired, curious to hear what Levi would plan for the rest of his life. He wasn’t very forthcoming with what he wanted out of life and even if Hange knew him better than most, he was still a bit of a mystery.

Levi stared out at the ocean, so vast and endless. He had been thinking about it for a long time, what it was he wanted, but it had never been the right time for it. Things were different now that the war had ended.

“Hange...what do you think about kids?” He asked, his gaze still fixed on the horizon.

Hange watched him, curiously. A laugh passed her lips, caught off guard by his question.

“The teenagers just moved out and you want more?” She teased, missing the real question that laid underneath Levi’s inquiry.

He sighed, realizing he would have to elaborate. He turned and grabbed the top of Hange’s head, bringing her in close. “Our kids.” He said, words slow and deliberate, implying that he wouldn’t repeat himself.

Hange’s eyes widened, suddenly understanding the implication. “Are you propositioning me, Levi?” An amused glint shined in her eyes, her lips forming a cheeky grin.

Levi snorted softly, sliding his hand down to curl a stand of Hange’s hair around his fingers.

“You need a bath first.” He replied, in all seriousness.

“Talk clean to me.” Hange continued to tease, swearing she could almost see a hint of red on Levi’s face.

“Idiot.” His voice didn’t hold any edge, the inflection almost affectionate when he said it. Hange’s gaze softened, knowing Levi was baring his heart to her in a way he wasn’t used to.

It was his way of saying he wanted a family with her, he wanted to spend his life by her side.

“I love you too, Levi.” She said, the humor dropping from her voice. Levi met her gaze, searching. His lips lifted at the corners into a little smile.

“You still need a bath first.” Levi replied, feeling much more awkward about saying those words aloud. It didn’t bother Hange though. She understood him and some things were said best with action.

“Will you join me?” She whispered to him, thinking she would embarrass him enough to actually get more of a reaction out of him.

He did smirk, eyes lowering to give Hange a once over. His gaze was so piercing that she felt like he had just melted the clothes right off her. “I think that would be counterproductive to you getting clean.” His voice dropped into a sexy rumble that had Hange blushing furiously, absolutely stunned.

Well, damn. Shorty knew how to turn the tables.

————

Eren had started to settle into his new life, learning how to change diapers and rock Emi in a way that would calm her cries. She still preferred Mikasa’s soothing touch but she had gotten used to Eren enough not to cry when he held her. Though Mikasa and Eren had established that they were a family, Eren slept in the spare room of the house still, an unspoken rule that he had to earn his way back into her arms. She still didn’t wear the scarf.

Each day they shared more together, loving kisses and embraces. It was comfortable, but it wasn’t enough. Eren knew he would have to prove he wasn’t going to leave again so that she could begin to heal, begin to trust him again.

“Mikasa.” Eren said, sneaking up behind Mikasa when she was washing dishes. He brushed her hair to the side, noting how she was letting it grow. He hadn’t cut his yet and he wondered if he should, if she would like him to clean himself up.

“Hm?” She looked over her shoulder, giving him a soft smile. He kissed her in greeting, pulling her closer to himself. She lowered the plate into the sink, turning to face him fully.

Emi gurgled from her place in her high chair, chewing on her baby snacks while she watched her parents with curious green eyes.

“I have something for you.” Eren whispered, between kisses. He stepped back, fishing in his pocket for the circle of gold. He pulled it out, dropping to his knee. It was a simple gesture, nothing elaborate or over the top, just a ring in his hand and a man on his knee.

Mikasa stared, shocked by the sudden proposal. Her hands were still covered in soap and water so she quickly dried them on her apron, hands shaking as she held out her left hand in acceptance. Eren smiled, sliding the ring onto her slim finger. He kissed each knuckle in relief, glad that she had accepted it.

She pulled him up off the floor and hugged him tight, tears coming to her eyes. He was truly staying this time, he didn’t intend to run away.

“Forever and ever.” Eren mouthed against her throat, hugging her closer than he ever had before.

Emi squealed in approval, little chubby hands slapping the surface of her high chair. Mikasa laughed between tears of happiness, turning away from Eren only to pick up her daughter and kiss her cheek.

Eren grinned, watching his two favorite girls. No matter what nightmares haunted him at night, reminding him of his crimes, he had them to take away his torment and give him hope again.

————

Levi and Mikasa had started a tradition of meeting up for tea once a week. The team still spent time together here and there but they didn’t have a scheduled day to spend together. The schedule seemed to suit Levi, who seemed to thrive under a routine.

She bounced Emi on her lap as Levi joined her in the cafe, placing the tea and scones before them on the table. He picked up the teaspoon and pulled out a clean handkerchief to clean it further until the metal shined.

“I have news.” Mikasa said, lifting her left hand to show off the ring.

Levi looked up, eyes immediately zeroing in on the new jewelry.

“I had a feeling he may have asked. I saw you wearing the scarf again and figured he must have done something to win your favor.” Levi placed the spoon down, realizing he had forgotten to say the traditionally polite thing. “Congratulations.”

Mikasa smiled, wrapping both her arms around her daughter again. “I’m coming around to normalcy again. It’s not easy to let my guard down. It’s funny that I went from easily forgiving him for everything to being so cautious.”

Levi nodded, quietly listening. Emi’s small gurgles were heard as she grabbed onto Mikasa’s scarf, tugging.

“You grew up, Mikasa. As you should have.” Levi paused, staring into the amber liquid in the cup in front of him. “The things we have all been through have taken a toll on all of us. It won’t be easy to settle into domestic life.”

Mikasa broke off a piece of scone and handed it to Emi to gnaw on to keep her hands busy. She giggled in delight, eagerly chewing the treat with her few teeth that were poking through.

Levi watched Emi eat, gaze softening. Another reason why they never invited anyone else out with them for tea was because Levi always melted around the baby.

“I have news too.” Levi said, quietly, perhaps even a little nervously.

“Hm?” Mikasa brushed her fingers through the silky strands of Emi’s fluffy hair, nodding encouragingly for Levi to continue. She lifted her cup to her lips, taking a small sip of tea.

Levi swallowed, fiddling with his handkerchief for a moment. “Hange and I are trying for kids.”

Mikasa started coughing, definitely not expecting that. “Wait, wait, wait...” She held her hand up, trying to regain her composure. “First, what is happening between you and Hange? Second, you’re going to have kids?”

Levi actually may have turned a bit red, turning away from Mikasa to hide it.

“We’re together.” He answered simply. “We’ve been trying for a while but Hange hasn’t gotten pregnant yet.”

A bright smile formed on Mikasa’s lips, truly happy for her former Captain. “Congratulations, Levi. I’m really glad you finally got together.”

Levi looked back at her sharply. “Finally?”

She laughed, amused by his surprise. “You are more subtle with your feelings but I had my suspicions.”

Levi nodded, relaxing a little once he had been reassured that he had still been subtle enough that most of the team probably wouldn’t have noticed. Even though none of that mattered anymore, they were all free to pursue their lives the way they wanted.

“One more thing,” Mikasa adjusted Emi on her lap, expression turning serious. “This is on behalf of Eren and I, we want you and Hange to be a part of the wedding. I wanted to know if Hange would like to officiate and if you...would like to walk me down the aisle.”

A hint of a smile touched the edges of Levi’s lips. The squad really were like their kids. “Sure. I will ask Hange about the officiating but I think she will be thrilled.”

Mikasa nodded happily, relieved that Levi was glad to be included. She and Eren didn’t have their parents to see them get married but their little makeshift family would help to heal the ache of their absence.

————

They were laying in Mikasa’s bed, Emi between them, little giggles and shrieks sounding throughout the room. Eren was blowing raspberries on her tummy and you would have thought that was the funniest thing in the world.

“Silly girl.” Eren remarked, blowing the fluffy black strands on her head, watching them flutter. Emi giggled even more, little legs kicking.

Mikasa placed a hand over her mouth, hiding her own giggles. They were so cute, these interactions were a treasure she didn’t know she was missing. She was so happy he was home.

“Eren, it’s nearing her bed time. Don’t get her too riled up.” She warned, lowering her hand again to smile slyly at him. “After she’s in bed, you can come back here with me.”

Eren turned his attention away from Emi, meeting Mikasa’s gaze. Well, that was a welcome invitation. He grinned, scooping Emi up and sliding off the bed.

“Alright, story time for Emi.” He said, giving Mikasa another mischievous look over his daughter’s head. “Then I have to get mommy ready for bed.”

Mikasa blushed, laughing at his antics. She had never seen Eren so carefree and happy before. Being a dad really suited him.

Curiosity got the best of her and she followed them into Emi’s room, watching as Eren sat with her in the rocking chair, Emi tucked in one arm and the other propping up a book. He read the story with animated voices and punctuated each turn of the page with a kiss on the top of her head. Emi’s eyes grew heavy in no time, curling into the warmth of her father’s chest. Eren paused in his reading, seeing that she was already asleep.

Mikasa smiled fondly, feeling like her heart would burst with the amount of love she had for those two.

Eren placed the baby as gently in her crib as possible, holding his breath as she settled in. As soon as it seemed that she was going to stay asleep, he tip toed out of the room and wrapped Mikasa up in his arms.

“You’re crying.” He said, pulling back in surprise.

“I’m sorry, I’m just so happy that you’re home.” She whispered, brushing away the few tears that escaped with her sleeves.

Eren’s face fell into a serious expression, the lightness leaving his eyes. “I’m really sorry I left.”

“I know.” Mikasa sighed, pulling him closer and burying her face in his chest. He held her, sliding fingers through her hair for a few minutes.

“I can’t go back and change things.” Eren fingers continued to thread through her hair as he spoke. “I vowed to myself not to time travel for personal gain and I would still remember the hurt I caused anyway. I’m sad I missed out being there for you for the first heartbeats, the birth, the first smile...”

Mikasa knew she couldn’t hold it against him, Eren beat himself up over the past enough for both of them.

“We could have another.” She suggested, lifting her head and brushing her lips over Eren’s. “That way you could get to experience those things.”

Eren smiled against her lips, pressing his own against hers more firmly. They stood in the hallway, sharing slow, sweet kisses until Eren decided to scoop Mikasa up and carry her to the bedroom.

“Let’s get to work then.” He grinned devilishly, pushing her down into the bed and deepening the kisses. Mikasa hummed her agreement, her hands traveling up to tug on Eren’s shirt. He took the sign and lifted it over his head, tossing the garment aside. Mikasa’s gaze ran over the tanned skin, fingers tracing each peak and valley of his muscles with reverence. Eren smiled at the appreciative gaze, ducking down to place kisses along Mikasa’s neck, unraveling the scarf as he went. He sucked on the soft skin, intent on leaving a bright red mark.

Mikasa shivered, threading fingers through his long strands, pulling then free from the hair tie they were in. “E...Eren...”

“Hm?” He quickly worked on the buttons of her shirt, revealing more skin inch by inch.

“We have to be quiet.” She warned, a hint of pink touching her cheeks. She was so cute when she got shy.

“Then I’ll keep my mouth busy.” His voice dropped lower in tone, mischief dancing in green eyes. Mikasa blushed more and bit her lip as Eren push her shirt aside and cupped her breasts through the bra. She opened her mouth to remind Eren that she still breastfed, but Eren had already undone her bra and pushed it aside, sucking a nipple into his mouth. He pulled away, realizing too late that he just got a taste of her milk. She laughed at the face he made, covering her mouth with her hand to stifle the sound.

“It’s actually not half bad.” Eren admitted with a little chuckle, slipping further down her body.

“I’ll take your word for it.” Her eyes still shined with mirth until Eren started planting kisses on her stomach. She shifted uncomfortably, self conscious at the fact that she hadn’t had as much time to work on her abs as much as she used to. It made her feel as if she should cover up.

Eren noticed her discomfort and realized that she was trying to steer him away from her midsection. “Mika?”

“I’m not... I’m sorry, that’s just not the way it used to be.” He looked at her like she was crazy, leaning over to place more kisses on her stomach.

“Mikasa, you are the most beautiful woman in the world to me.” He promised, trailing his kisses back up to her lips. She gratefully responded, closing her eyes in bliss.

Fingers trailed low, pulling on the edge of her underwear. She lifted her hips, allowing Eren to slide them down her thighs.

“Nnn, Eren...” Mikasa moaned, hips jerking in response as her rubbed her clit with his thumb and slipped two fingers into her at the same time. Eren smiled against her lips, pleased to note that she was already so wet. She turned her head, biting down on the back of her hand to muffle her sounds as Eren continued to work on her weak spots, moving his fingers just right.

She grew impatient, grabbing his hand to pause his movements. “I want you. Now.” She demanded, eyes dark and cheeks flushed. Eren shivered at the demanding tone, his own resistance weakening. He sat back, quickly unbuckling his belt and shedding the rest of his clothes. His erection stood tall and ready, tip weeping just a bit as she grabbed onto him, guiding him inside her.

Eren grit his teeth, the heat and familiar velvety feel of her clenching around him nearly making him lose it already. It had been much too long.

He leaned over her, their chests pressed together, skin beginning to get slick with sweat the more their bodies moved together.

Eren buried his face into her neck, breath casting a hot wave over her skin with every desperate pant.

Mikasa clawed at Eren’s back, tears coming to her eyes again at the intensity of emotion that swept over her. raw feeling of being so close to him, feeling his heart beat against her chest. She arched up, angling her hips better and they both felt the shift intensify the pleasure.

Mikasa sought out his lips again, sharing kisses between gasps and shuddering breaths until the pleasure wracked through Mikasa’s body, causing her to clench down, walls spasming sporadically.

Eren grunted into her shoulder, following her into oblivion with a few more erratic thrusts, pulsing his seed into the welcoming warmth.

The only sound that followed for a few minutes was their soft breaths as they tried to recover.

Eren sought out her lips again, giving her a lazy and satisfied kiss. She returned it with the same energy, feeling lighter than she had in ages.

“Why didn’t we do that sooner?” She asked, voice breathy and soft.

“We can make up for lost time.” Eren replied, slipping from her only to roll to the side, slinging an arm around her middle. “I love you so much, Mikasa.”

She smiled, turning towards him to bury her face in his chest. “I love you too, Eren.”

————

Fingers smoothed down the lines of her dress as she stared into the mirror, stunned by the sight of herself looking so dressed up and elegant. Historia fixed her hair threading some white flowers into the twists of her hair. Her hair had grown out long enough that the other girl had managed to put it in a half updo with the flowers woven between the strands, which complimented the floral motif on the lace that covered her chest and arms. Her shoulders were exposed, bringing attention to her collarbones. The skirt of the dress wasn’t very full, a simple A-line that went all the way to the floor. Historia even gave her a touch of makeup, just enough to enhance her features and make her lips glossy.

“You’re lucky you aren’t showing yet.” Historia teased, admiring her work.

Mikasa blushed. “I haven’t told anyone yet. How did you know?”

“You have a glow about you. And Hange may have slipped up and mentioned it.” The blonde laughed, wrapping her arms around Mikasa’s waist. “Congratulations again, momma.”

Mikasa returned the hug, smiling brighter than she had before. She couldn’t wait to tell Eren, he would be ecstatic to hear that they had another little one on the way. She had wanted to tell him on their wedding day, to make the day even more special.

Sasha barged into the room a moment later and gasped, hurrying over to join in the hug. “Mikasa, you look so beautiful!”

“Thank you, Sasha, so do you.” She laughed, glad to have the two girls with her. She didn’t have many female friends but the support she had received from the two of them, especially when she was pregnant with Emi, was enough to solidify a close friendship.

They were her bridesmaids and both were dressed in pale blue, their hair twisted up with coordinating blue flowers.

“Levi has Emi, she’s dressed already too but he’s making sure she doesn’t get anything on her dress.” Sasha said as she pulled away from Mikasa. Mikasa nodded, trying to will away the nerves. She was excited to finally marry Eren,it felt so surreal to even think about it.

“We’re ready so we should probably get everyone lined up.” Historia said, making a few final adjustments to Mikasa’s dress before grabbing their bouquets and handing them out.

Mikasa gripped the bouquet of wildflowers, heart beating fast as they walked out of the room and met Levi out in the kitchen. He was dressed smartly in a navy blue suit, Emi balanced on his hip.

“I’ll take her.” Historia reached out for Emi and placed the small girl in a little wagon covered with flowers. Emi squealed in delight, grabbing at the flowers.

Levi approached Mikasa and held out his arm, small smile in place. He had been doing that more lately. Mikasa was willing to bet it was Hange’s influence. “Ready?”

————

The ceremony had gone smoothly enough, as smoothly as one could hope with Hange officiating your wedding, getting far too emotional about the whole thing. It was perfect though, because Mikasa could barely move her eyes from Eren’s and her distracted answers to the vows were just adding to the chaotic feel of the wedding. Eren was grinning from ear to ear, barely holding himself back from grabbing on to Mikasa and kissing her too early.

“Get a room!” Connie yelled, snickering at the pair. Sasha threw her bouquet at his head, but missed by a few inches, so as not to actually hurt him.

“It’s a good thing they got a room back in Marley or we wouldn’t all be here right now.” Reiner joked from his seat next to Connie. Ymir made a face as she overheard them.

“Gross.”

Reiner shrugged, it was the truth. He was just glad he could be around his old comrades without fighting anymore.

The party just gradually dissolved into more shenanigans after that, at one point a food fight starting between Connie and Sasha, which only lead to an very irritable Levi putting an end to it.

At some point, Ymir proposed to Historia and the petite blonde girl handed baby Emi off to Annie in order to kiss her girlfriend. Annie held the baby at arms length, staring at her like she was an alien.

Armin chuckled at the look on her face. “I take it you aren’t good with kids?”

Annie sparred him a pleading look, trying to hand off the child to him.

“Here, let me help.” Armin moved Annie’s arms and shifted Emi around in her hold so the baby was resting against her shoulder. Armin smiled his disarmingly charming smile at her and Annie relaxed. Maybe brats weren’t all that bad. She turned to look at Emi only to find her little hand had tangled in her blonde hair and had pulled it towards her mouth, chewing on the ends.

“Armin.” Annie said, making a face.

Armin laughed harder and grabbed Annie’s hair out of Emi’s hold. “Stop it, Emi, that’s not food. She must be hungry.” He grabbed the baby out of Annie’s arms and handed her a napkin to wipe off her hair with.

Annie watched him, wondering for a moment if Armin wanted kids. Would he be happy with her if she didn’t? She blushed, realizing that she was thinking about him in terms of a future relationship, possibly marriage. She hadn’t allowed herself to think things like that before but after everything that had happened, it didn’t seem as impossible anymore.

Armin wandered off to find Emi something to eat and to hand her off to Mikasa and returned by himself with a piece of cake for Annie. Annie’s eyes lit up at the treat, her sweet tooth a bit of a hidden secret to most people. She dug into it with almost a Sasha-like enthusiasm and Armin watched her fondly.

“It’s nice to see you so animated. As pretty as you are sleeping, this is much better.” Armin commented, pointing to a spot on Annie’s face where she had gotten some frosting.

Annie wiped the frosting off her lip, suddenly feeling shy. “Thank you for visiting me all that time.” She said softly, hiding her face behind her hair.

“Anytime.” Armin reached over and grabbed her hand, appreciating how she squeezed his in return.

————

Mikasa pulled Eren aside after Emi was put down for a nap, glad they had decided to get married in the yard outside their cottage so it was easy to take care of her. She pulled him into their garden, the sun just starting to set.

“I have something to tell you.” She said, taking Eren’s hand and placing it on her stomach. “I’m not very far yet, but I’m pregnant with our second child.”

Eren’s eyes went wide as he looked down at her stomach and then back to meet her eyes. “Are you serious?” He quickly pulled her into a tight embrace, overwhelmed with happiness at the news. He would get his chance to be there every step of the way.

“You can come to the next appointment with me if you need proof.” Mikasa replied, her own joy increasing at Eren’s excitement. This had been the response she had wanted, this was the way it should have been.

“I love you.” Eren said, pressing his lips to Mikasa’s and then dropping down to place a kiss on her stomach through the wedding dress. “I’m going to love you too.”

Mikasa laughed, running her fingers through the strands of hair that had fallen loose from Eren’s bun. “I already love all of you.”

————

Jean leaned against a tree as the party winded down, feeling happy for his friends but also a tinge of loneliness. Things would change from that point on, they would no longer be spending the same amount of time together, they would all go their separate ways in life.

“Hey.” A voice sounded beside him and Jean looked over, seeing the familiar form standing a few feet away. The time traveler tucked her hair behind her ear, wearing a simple black dress.

Jean felt his heart speed up at the sight of her, filled with nervousness. “Hey.”

“I just wanted to check in and see how happy they are.” Emi stated, looking down the hill at the group enjoying themselves at the wedding. It was the ultimate payoff to see how her sacrifice had actually amounted to something beautiful. She had been on her own for months, trying to figure out what she would do with herself now that everything was over.

Jean nodded, a smile coming through on his lips. Talking about the others was a safe topic. He couldn’t imagine a world without them and he would be forever grateful to Emi for that.

“That baby is going to have a better life than me.” Emi said of her younger self, glad that there were so many in her life to love her. She would never have to feel the same loneliness.

“What do you mean? Aren’t you the same person?” Jean looked at her like she was talking nonsense and it must have seemed like it.

“I forfeited my timeline to save yours so I don’t have anywhere to go back to. I don’t have a place to belong in this universe.” Emi smiled wistfully, feeling the cruel twist of reality. She had finally gotten the timeline she always wanted but she couldn’t live that life. Another Emi, who had no idea of her pain, would get to enjoy all of it. She was stuck as a ghost of a future that had been erased.

“That’s not true.” Jean frowned at her words. How could she say she didn’t belong? They wouldn’t abandon her just because she had served a purpose for them. “You belong here with us. This is your home.”

Emi felt tears well in her eyes at the warmth in his tone, it was so much like him, her Jean. “Don’t fill me with false hope.” She whispered, closing her eyes as if that would hide her tears.

Startled by her crying, Jean stepped over and placed a hand on her shoulder. “Hey, I’m sorry... did I say something wrong?”

Swallowing hard, Emi turned to face him, sliding her arms around his neck. “No, you always say everything right. It’s annoying.”

Jean tensed at the intimacy of the moment, realizing they were dancing a fine line, if his suspicions were correct. Quickly think of a distraction, he told himself. “Why don’t we go down to party? You’re already dressed for it.”

Emi nodded against his shoulder and pulled away, grabbing Jean’s tie and straightening it. Jean watched her, his hand moving of its own accord to brush over her cheek. Emi glanced up at him, parting her lips in surprise.

“Uh, sorry. I don’t know why I did that.” Jean dropped his hand and looked to the side, feeling embarrassed. Good job, Jean, he thought. That was the opposite of diffusing the tension.

Emi watched him with a contemplative stare for a minute before she grabbed his hand and started walking down to the wedding area. “I’ll join, but you owe me a dance.” Jean followed along, flustered and wondering how he could avoid the wrath of Eren if he found out Emi was flirting with him.

————

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I figured I would give the last chapter to you guys today, so here you go. 
> 
> I feel like I exhausted myself writing this. I took an 8 year hiatus from fanfic writing and finished a 24 chapter fic in 2 months. Thank you to anyone who stuck with me the whole way. 
> 
> Let me know if you have any requests for future works otherwise I think I might take a break from writing for a while.


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